To think that social standing affects the desire to associate with strangers?

[LazyJack]

I am in a very popular tourist and sailing destination. I’ve been sitting enjoying a glass of wine in the harbour and listening to a conversation unfolding on a bench on the quayside. The participants did not stop talking at eachother for around an hour and had never met prior to them sharing a bench overlooking the harbour. It led me to wondering whether your upbringing/‘class’ makes you more or less inclined to find common ground with strangers.

I am middle class, and am disinterested in any opinions on this - I can’t help my upbringing or my life. It is what it is. I will not enter into protracted conversation with strangers - I’ll exchange pleasantries and carry on with my day. I’m not interested in whether they thought their pudding in the pub down the road was overpriced or which day is bin day in Sutton Coldfield. Yet these strangers managed to prattle on for a full hour about completely inconsequential dross - they were incredibly loud so it was difficult to ignore, and they were quite close.

So; if you’re working class, do you try harder to find common ground with people? Do you try hard to be friendly? Why?

@LazyJack But why are you engaging with strangers on MN yourself? At least those people could patter on about their holiday. And going by what you said, you were eavesdropping on them for hours.

Why did other people pattering on bother you so much? A bit nosy. Rude.

I think I'm an introvert but I'm interested in everything and often chat to people. The more you do it the better you get at it. I think that closing yourself off is very bad for society and sad for the individual.

I agree @Pleanut

I'm not sure about other countries but in the UK, I'd say middle class people are far more aloof than working class people. Middle class people who are super friendly and chatty are usually more eccentric types.

Weird isn't it

It's not so much as to whether you are working class and more to do with whether or not you are a stuck-up cunt.

Almost any American I meet is eccentric then. Thanks for explaining!

This is my experience too. People my age (30s) or younger, in general, tend to feel pretty closed off whereas I’m friends with (not sure if the feeling’s mutual 😂) most of the retirees at the coffeeshop I frequent!

Despite my working class origins I married into the UC and have a title... I once sat on a sunny harbour-side wall (Wells-Next-The-Sea if you really must know) and spent a peasant half hour chatting to a dog owner who had walked around the coast to get there. Her delightful pointy-dog had fallen asleep on my foot and and so I was trapped, eating lovely chips and basking in the last of the sun. Where do I fit in?

The chatty people on the bench probably felt really sorry for the lonely woman, drinking wine all by herself, with no-one to talk to, on a beautiful sunny summer's evening.

I'm middle class and TBH I was like you when I worked full time. I always felt my free time was limited so didn't want to waste it on people I didn't know speaking about inconsequential nonsense. I'm in the fortunate position where I no longer need to work and I'm really happy to chat to anyone about anything now 🤣

I don't really believe in constructs such as middle class', 'working class', "upper class'.

I have my own scale. To me, people with the most class are kind (as opposed to mean), non judgemental (Vs judgemental), friendly (Vs unfriendly) and polite (Vs rude). Wealth, job and how chatty a person is, are not relevant to true class IMO.

On my scale you are not rated to have much class I'm afraid OP, since you come across as unfriendly, judgemental, rude and mean. It matters not your wealth, job or whether you talk to people on a park bench.

I’m working class and do try and be friendly. I like the idea of knowing people in my area and having a community. Safety in numbers and all that

Disinterested or uninterested op?

Same here.

I am sometimes surprised by what I learn from strangers. This is especially true of elderly strangers because they might have had lives that were really interesting. But they're always interesting to me - even if they have had very "ordinary" lives.

I started chatting to a random mum and we’ve had some fascinating conversations about global fertility rates (she’s chinese), the migrant experience (I’m also a migrant a few times over), teaching methods in asia etc. You often meet really interesting people. I’m 2nd/3rd gen migrant in the UK, so I don’t have so much of a hang up about class. I tend to assume other people are more interesting than me (which they often are). I love it, I’ve spoke to people from all over and it’s always fascinating. You never know.