To think that social standing affects the desire to associate with strangers?

[LazyJack]

I am in a very popular tourist and sailing destination. I’ve been sitting enjoying a glass of wine in the harbour and listening to a conversation unfolding on a bench on the quayside. The participants did not stop talking at eachother for around an hour and had never met prior to them sharing a bench overlooking the harbour. It led me to wondering whether your upbringing/‘class’ makes you more or less inclined to find common ground with strangers.

I am middle class, and am disinterested in any opinions on this - I can’t help my upbringing or my life. It is what it is. I will not enter into protracted conversation with strangers - I’ll exchange pleasantries and carry on with my day. I’m not interested in whether they thought their pudding in the pub down the road was overpriced or which day is bin day in Sutton Coldfield. Yet these strangers managed to prattle on for a full hour about completely inconsequential dross - they were incredibly loud so it was difficult to ignore, and they were quite close.

So; if you’re working class, do you try harder to find common ground with people? Do you try hard to be friendly? Why?

I would say people have often struck up conversations with me and whether it lasts a minute or some time just depends how interesting they are and how the conversation goes, if it doesn't get past nice weather it's dead. Nothing to do with social class.

The most extroverted person I know, who will start a conversation with literally anyone when I'm out and about with her, is very old-school UMC. Referring to her parents as Mummy and Daddy although she's in her 70s type UMC.

OP, you sound terribly - there's no other phrase for it, I'm afraid - up yourself.

@Ladyflip my mother was fond of sharing toilet reports with her sisters. Not sure they shared their assessments with people outside of the family (heaven forbid) but if they went anywhere, it would be noted for discussion later. There was a surprisingly modern visitor centre at the cliffs of moher. However at the Anne Frank museum, be prepared to hold it in for a while. That's not to say they didn't enjoy the places they visited. They did, but, word up toilets at the V&A, better than our last visit in 2008.

Completely the opposite where I’m from. Pit village decimated by closure of the mines. People are actively suspicious and wary of small talk, and unfamiliar people, I find. The sort of place where if you walked into the pub and you weren’t a regular the whole place would go silent and stare at you.

"If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,"

Rudyard Kipling was rather MC was he not? Although wiki tells me he was named after the place where his parents met which is probably non-U.

I’m WC and I can also sit in harbours drinking wine in an aloof fashion being judgey about bin prattlers. You’re not special op.

Well, you certainly aren't averse to talking drivel with strangers on the Internet.

I think that is exactly what the OP is saying.

The oiks prattle on non-stop about bins and ‘aving a knees-up down the rub-a-dub, while the middle classes sit in silence, glorying silently in the display of their social credentials, only occasionally opening their mouths for another sip of Pinot Grigio, or to drop an incisive but quietly-spoken remark about their yacht or the noisy verbal incontinence of the lower orders.

@St0nehenge Toilet? Facilities, surely? To be fair, useful to know in advance. Isn't that why everyone goes to Gloucester services?

"Well, you certainly aren't averse to talking drivel with strangers on the Internet"

Yep- isn't 95% of MN just about happily talking shite with strangers +/- wine +/- parking diagrams?

😂 😂 😂

So you think you are above small talk?

Probably.

This.

I love having protracted conversations with strangers. Especially if we have a laugh together. I love those moments for example when the whole bus gets involved. I guess people would say I am middle class but I come from a working class background. I’ll talk to anyone.

Op I hope you’re not one of those frosty types who are so superior that they have disappeared up their own fundament. Loosen up. You might just enjoy it.

I work in mental health and I think there is so much to be gained from talking to people who are not just like us. We tend to migrate to people who look, and sound and vote like us and it's safe. But when we talk to strangers we learn about things outside of our bubble and it is great for building skills of empathy. I love talking to a taxi driver or a stranger at the park. And what class I am has nothing to do with it.

You call it dross they call it human connection. I stayed in a very expensive hotel recently and a middle class Londoner and I (technically working class parents but well off upbringing) got chatting. There are 30 years between our ages. She was there for her ruby anniversary... I was there getting engaged.

We chatted for hours over G&Ts, I learned about her husband and their three kids, their move to Ireland, her daughters dissolving marriage, her love of honey cake. It was a great chat. In a beautiful place. I enjoyed it.

We didn't get each others names. Will never see each other again. But for a couple of hours we chatted, connected and enjoyed each others company.

Maybe it's my working class-ness. Or maybe we just like other people...

Always chat to randoms at school stuff/ kids clubs etc. and also always smile and say hi to everyone I pass when I’m out running and also to their dogs. Makes me happy. I don’t mind if they don’t reply.

I do think casual friendliness is helpful to mental health though.

More than my class, it would depend on my mood on the day, how much energy I had, whether I was waiting for a friend/the bus and had time on my hands, how pleasant the other person was to talk with etc.

I don't think it is a class thing though as my sister has had the same upbringing as me and hates chit-chatting with strangers.

I'm very posh and I'll chat to anyone until their eyes glaze over. HTH.

It’s personality. I’ll chat to any random
granny / stranger / guy in a bar (when I was young) that approaches me. I’m open to meeting new people any time, any place. Always make new friends on holiday. Moved loads as a kid, don’t know if that might be a factor? I’ve been chatty since I was very small. My DS is the same. I’ve also never worn earphones & love to people watch / listen in on the bus / train.

Lived in England for a good while. Folk are definitely more conservative in London. Where I come from everyday chat / conversation with strangers is quite normal.

I can't believe OP is 4 real.
People had a friendly peaceful conversation in a public place. Whatever next !?
Is OP jealous?

I think you just sound particularly miserable. It's not because you're middle class.

Perhaps... With privlidge comes an allowance to be rude and disinterested? You don't have the same judgements on you and need to prove yourself as a working class person. You're certainly showing that's the case.

But I'm middle class and bit like this. So....

Op has not returned, somebody made a good point upthread. We're all talking drivel on the internet right here right now, and the OP chose the subject. Although, maybe she's just observing the plebian masses chit-chatting about chit-chat while she thinks about politics and philosophy.