To think that social standing affects the desire to associate with strangers?

[LazyJack]

I am in a very popular tourist and sailing destination. I’ve been sitting enjoying a glass of wine in the harbour and listening to a conversation unfolding on a bench on the quayside. The participants did not stop talking at eachother for around an hour and had never met prior to them sharing a bench overlooking the harbour. It led me to wondering whether your upbringing/‘class’ makes you more or less inclined to find common ground with strangers.

I am middle class, and am disinterested in any opinions on this - I can’t help my upbringing or my life. It is what it is. I will not enter into protracted conversation with strangers - I’ll exchange pleasantries and carry on with my day. I’m not interested in whether they thought their pudding in the pub down the road was overpriced or which day is bin day in Sutton Coldfield. Yet these strangers managed to prattle on for a full hour about completely inconsequential dross - they were incredibly loud so it was difficult to ignore, and they were quite close.

So; if you’re working class, do you try harder to find common ground with people? Do you try hard to be friendly? Why?

Are you a Southerner, OP?

People more likely to do this:

• extraverts
• lonely people
• people who are confident that they have interesting things to impart

I am someone who quite easily straddles the 2 classes and having lived quite comfortably in both, I would say the 'working' class is much more at ease with themselves and have nothing to prove. The middle classes can be so self conscious about how they are perceived and who is worth talking to or not. There can be a lot of social posturing.

I think this thread might be a wind up or the OP is painfully judgemental saying things like, 'talking at each other' 'prattle' 'dross' it's almost comical.

This is silly. I think what you are really saying is that class dictates conversation. I have overheard on many occasions the most boring conversations from middle class people, about their lives , kids, etc., with little self awareness. Boring people are boring people! Class does not come into it. Enjoy your wine!

Oh dear

I’m Irish. I love taking to strangers. I find it fascinating. My husband jokes about the information I can get a stranger to tell me in 10 minutes. Perhaps you’re just not used to friendly people?

I’m a middle class merry chatter and lovely listener. I’ll quite happily converse with others of my ilk.

I am extroverted and feel energised by being around others. Saying that I rarely would feel lonely, and enjoy time alone too.

Ha ha ha ha this made me laugh. It has nothing to do with "class" and everything to do with personality, i.e., by the sounds of it, you lack people skills and struggle to understand why other people might enjoy striking up conversations with others. You can't help it but please don't try to make yourself feel better about your lack of conversational skills by making it a "class" thing 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I am WC but went to a MC Uni, and I do talk to everyone and everyone, but I think it's because I learnt to socialise from a young age I.e. when you grow up on a council estate, whilst you lacked money, you had a community + you just talked to your neighbours and kids, and relied on each other in need.

But it's people like you who post, which made my uni experience hell, and stripped back my confidence :/ and other students used to make bitchy comments about me chatting to everyone and everyone. I've had the last laugh though, and was best person on my course. Instead of gawping at others for talking to everyone and everyone, maybe you should stop fixating on class issues :/

But my partner is from the same background and he hates people talking to him randomly, he'll be polite but wished they left him alone.

Nothing to do with class. Why would you think it is?

I'm middle class and depending on my mood on the day it could have been me chatting away. some other days I'll swerve as much interaction as possible with people.

Wow well I talk to everyone so on that deep analysis I guess that I’m on the lowest social tier but I’m happy down here, it’s friendly.

I went to private school, have a hard fought for professional qualification, quite a posh accent and am married to a senior professional who is also a high earner by MN standards. Mind you, my father was a cockney so perhaps class/ being social is inherited although he rarely spoke to strangers.
I also read the Guardian but will happily read the Sun ..I’m not proud.

Anyhow, don’t care …will still talk to everyone. I’m naturally inquisitive.

Incidentally, I love the fact that someone is calling themselves the Italian Christmas witch or La Befana.

I was thinking about this at a child's birthday party once. The MC mums seem to flit about chatting, making sure no one was left out, networking, getting others drinks. The more WC stood in a corner, nursing a squash in a plastic cup, on their phones. I'm WC btw.
I thought about the more traditional MC upbringing of extracurricular activities, uni, moving away from their hometown etc. These sort of things necessitate more mingling, more 'putting yourself out there'.
I didn't have to do any of that.

Im working class and I absolutely detest small talk or random people making conversation with me!

I thought the same thing

Is this a joke? How many social interactions have you had in real life with actual people?

Just when I think threads on here can’t get any more batshit…

It's mostly about personality and upbringing rather than actual class imo. And it's probably in some cases to do with whether you feel a bit of an affinity with the person you're chatting with (or choosing not to chat with).

I'm mc and not inclined to chat with random strangers, but if I'm in the right mood and it's someone who strikes me as like-minded or having something in common with me, I might. And once I get going I'm a real chatterbox!

I think this is an age thing as well. The older you are the less likely you feel need of new acquaintance and are more wary of strangers (experience I guess).

I think we also become more conscious of our class and social status as we age (the extreme example would be young children socialising with anyone,) and we behave accordingly. I think in our teenage years and youth some middle class people have egalitarian rebellion where they try to get working class friends as a kind of political point

"At my DC’s school there is a noticeable difference in who exchanges chat in the playground and who doesn’t and the ones who make the most effort to include everyone and speak to people are the more MC ones."

I tend to agree with that. But instead of MC probably would've said 'educated, well travelled', etc.

I'm an immigrant and the only people that don't always blank me are these.

Goodness me! Are you being unreasonable? Yes and absurd.

I love to talk with strangers, people are almost always fascinating whatever their social status. I’m a writer so I’m usually mining them for inspiration and ideas, but also a natural extrovert.

My own background is a mixture of privilege and adversity.

I think this is an age thing as well. The older you are the less likely you feel need of new acquaintance and are more wary of strangers (experience I guess).

My experience is the exact opposite. Younger people tend be the more socially inept/awkward

I'm Irish also so I am not constrained by class.No matter where I am and I have lived all over the world , people talk to me and I talk to them .I even managed to do this when hampered with very little knowledge of the German language when I moved to Germany first.My German husband is always fascinated at how I can talk to everyone and anyone and he also has the Gift of the Gab .There is no real' class system' in Germany either just either friendly or unfriendly people .That is what you are dealing with.That being said anytime I was ever in the UK i found everyone to be very very friendly and had some great chats with the people I encountered.

We all shit the bed when we die no such thing as class then.