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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband and Chinese take away

345 replies

SeaSnakes1 · 27/06/2023 18:49

We all love a Chinese take away in our house - we have three teenagers. A couple of months ago my husband had to go gluten free. Chinese take away is limited in terms of gluten free options so he’s said he’d rather not bother- fair enough his choice.

He’s now said nobody else in the house can get one as it’s cruel. He adored the Cantonese chicken balls and chicken chow mien. I thought he was joking , but he’s not. He has seriously said that it’s totally unacceptable and unfair for anyone to get a Chinese take away.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Okshacky · 27/06/2023 21:21

BramblyHedge · 27/06/2023 21:07

I'm sorry but I don't understand how your reply relates to my point. I was talking about being GF and being sad I can't eat bread - but getting over it.

Show quote history

Apologies, slip of the thumb, I meant to @BrunoMarzipan

Daffodil92 · 27/06/2023 21:21

Big fucking baby. How pathetic.

JustMarriedBecca · 27/06/2023 21:23

As a ceoliac, I do get it. It's grim. We do eat Chinese food less. Tend to eat Thai as that is very often GF. Or I nip to the Indian next to the Chinese and get a curry.

For everyone saying make GF noodles with GF soy sauce...have you tried it? It's grim AF

sanityisamyth · 27/06/2023 21:24

I have a severe tomato allergy. I'm not going to say that no-one in my household can eat pizza, pasta, beans on toast, Indian, Chinese etc just because I can't eat it. He needs to grow up.

ColdHandsHotHead · 27/06/2023 21:25

FFS there is plenty of Chinese food with no gluten in. All the rice dishes for a start. Tell him to get over himself.

Nussbaum · 27/06/2023 21:25

I'd buy a Chinese takeaway every night of the week for the next seven nights just to piss him off.
No one dictates to me what I can and can't eat in my own home.

JustMarriedBecca · 27/06/2023 21:26

And for everyone saying the rice dishes are GF, they aren't. Most Chinese dishes contain soy sauce. It's not the batter that's the problem, it's the soy.

WuTangGran · 27/06/2023 21:26

Okshacky · 27/06/2023 19:02

Buy him a huge steak and chips from the chippy and some GF larger. Buy yourselves Chinese. Be happy.

Larger than what?😂😂😂😂

Waynettaaa · 27/06/2023 21:27

pinkbottle1252 · 27/06/2023 21:20

@Waynettaaa

I'm gluten intolerant, I get major repercussions for days. Gastro, mood, brain fog, rashes etc. I've been gluten-free for 7 years and have never once been tempted to eat normal food. The side effects have gotten so much worse now it's been eliminated. I know this through cross contamination.

It's horrific, isn't it 😩 DD is NCGI so she still eats it, she's too old for me to dictate what she eats 😢 At least she can't do long term damage.

I can't even tolerate GF beer 😭 but as I said, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes, so I am never ever tempted to cheat. I won't even touch may contains.

BookLover7777 · 27/06/2023 21:28

As someone who is GF I think he's being ridiculous. Ring the Chinese and ask what dishes they can do GF and I bet there will be a few he can eat.

flimsywhimsy · 27/06/2023 21:29

I'd be sympathetic if he didn't try to control what everyone else can eat.

If he doesn't like to see you eating it, I'd compromise by going out to eat with the kids, instead.

It's possible to make your own GF version at home, and I actually now prefer my homemade version to some Chinese takeaways, because I can cater to my unique palate. If he stops being a brat about it, I'd offer to help him prepare a GF version of his favourite dishes so the whole family can enjoy it together, but he needs to stop making everyone else suffer because he can't have certain foods. How childish!

Aprilsh0wers · 27/06/2023 21:34

Since his moral code is so strict, did your husband abstain from all the foods and alcohol you were unable to enjoy when you were pregnant with your DCs?

red78hot · 27/06/2023 21:38

SeaSnakes1 · 27/06/2023 19:01

We haven’t got a Chinese since he went GF. We don’t get one often, maybe every 2-3 months . We all just really fancy one lately

Then you get your Chinese takeaway and he chooses one of the other options you've been buying instead, he's still having a takeaway then.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/06/2023 21:43

He should get over himself in about 7 months time. I definitely felt more irritated by everybody else being able to eat whatever they liked during that period.

In the meantime, leave him home whilst you three go off for a lovely sit down Chinese once a month.

It's not exactly difficult to make crispy chicken balls. All you need he needs is chicken, cornflour and a wok with hot groundnut oil in it.

cordelia16 · 27/06/2023 21:43

My family and I love to get chinese takeaway. When I went GF I had to give up my fave dish, but because I'm a grown-up I continued to order for my family and was happy they were enjoying a meal (and one that I didn't have to cook!). And my sons still regularly get pizza. In the beginning they told me they wouldn't get it out of respect for me, and I told them not to be ridiculous. Yes, I still crave those foods, but why should my health issues affect my whole family?

SlippySarah · 27/06/2023 21:44

I think think it's pretty mean of you to have a meal that would love to share but can't. There are Chinese restaurants around that serve GF food though so you and he could make the effort to source a takeaway that he could eat even though it might not be the closest.

AtrociousCircumstance · 27/06/2023 21:44

He’s a phenomenally selfish little man child.

Get the takeaway.

hennaoj · 27/06/2023 21:45

He's being a dick and I'm saying that as a coeliac. I delibrately buy lovely things in the Supermarkets for my husband that I can't eat because I get joy from him eating them.

He can also try and find a Chinese takeaway that does gluten free, some do and don't even advertise it so it involves phoning around. He needs to put his big boy pants on and do some legwork if he wants a Chinese.

NewPapaGuinea · 27/06/2023 21:45

I’d go with your 3 DCs and have a Chinese Eat-In 😂

Paq · 27/06/2023 21:47

YANBU but having recently jumped on the UPF bandwagon he’s also doing you all a favour 😉

Okshacky · 27/06/2023 21:47

WuTangGran · 27/06/2023 21:26

Larger than what?😂😂😂😂

Show quote history

Yeah I can’t spell. Not sure why that’s funny but you do you.

ScribblingPixie · 27/06/2023 21:48

Tamari (Japanese soy sauce) doesn't contain gluten.

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 27/06/2023 21:49

Is he often dictatorial? Twat.

SlippySarah · 27/06/2023 21:53

Alargeoneplease89 · 27/06/2023 20:42

Just go out with the kids for a Chinese or have a t-away if he's out.

Without being flamed, he isnt going to die by eating it, yes its uncomfortable being intolerant but my DH makes the call if he's going to eat gluten on certain occasions and put up with the effects

My DD has coeliac disease and if she consumes any gluten she's puking her guts up within an hour. Not really worth it for a take away.

SlippySarah · 27/06/2023 21:56

Plus there is no way that one member of the family having to cook themselves a Chinese meal is in say way comparable to having a take away. The amount of time it takes, the special ingredients and all the washing up. That would be great if everyone was having the hone cooked version but a but sad for one person to sweat it out over a wok while everyone e else is eating prawn crackers in front if the TV.