To be quite rude to kids wanting to engage with me?

[Brieandcran]

I know - I sound like a really horrible person here and maybe I am, but I’m wondering about this.

It feels like nearly every time I take my very young children to a park or soft play someone else’s child or children latches onto us and it’s really irritating. Today I was at the playground in the morning and two little boys were there and would not stop trying to get my attention. I was saying to my eldest that a piece of equipment was for bigger children and these two kids were shouting across me that no it wasn’t, they went on it, watch, watch. I ignored at first but ended up saying something like ‘thank you but I need to focus on my own children.’ Then ‘where is your mummy or daddy?’ But they just carried on.

I also had it at soft play (with a different family) where someone actually had a go at ME for their misbehaviour and I had to quite sharply say they weren’t my kids!

I don’t want to be unpleasant about it but when they don’t listen to not now, go and find your mummy or whatever - what the hell do you do? I really want to be playing with my own children not someone else’s!

It’s so frustrating when people keep replying with their own version of events on threads @Goldbar . You’ve decided one particular thing happened, I have clarified it didn’t, but you still keep replying that it did. It’s really unnecessarily argumentative.

I do sympathise with them wanting attention - I’m not an ogre - but when your own are needing attention so much because of their ages it is hard to extend that to other children as well. It also does mean you’re in a default position of responsibility which isn’t fair.

I get it all the time!
at the swimming pool the other day, a boy of maybe 9/10, possibly older I have no idea kept hanging about wanting my and my 3 year olds attention while his mum was sat in the baby splash pool with her much younger baby girl. He kept wanting to demonstrate his diving in to me as I was trying (and failing 🤣) to tech my boy some basic swimming stuff. Not only annoying because he wouldn’t leave us alone, but also it’s a swimming pool and I need to have my eyes on my wee boy every second without some older kid shouting in my face trying to show me stuff. Then the worst part is after a while when my boy clocks the older boy doesn’t have arm bands on, HE doesn’t want to wear his!!!
so I totally get it. Kids are annoying.

Hi just to let you know I understand where u are coming from and tbh after a while they tend to just get bored of u and go do there own thing.. I was in soft play today with my son who has undiagnosed acute autism spectrum, so I have to keep my eye on him at all times his speech is behind for his age (nearly 3)... Two girls 4 and 2 kept chatting to me asking me if I can play with them I had to repeat myself numrious times that I had to watch my son as he has speech dely, after a while they got the picture

You've got a long parenting road ahead of you OP and I'm sorry to say a LOT of it is going to involve interacting with/supervising other people's children. Give me a couple of toddlers at softplay over a house full of pumped up 6yos whose parents have all fucked off any day!

It’s totally this. It’s not wanting to be horrible to kids for the sake of it, it’s just there comes a point where you’re spread too thin.

It's important to teach children from a young age that once they're grown up they can be rude to people. Otherwise how will the UK maintain its proud tradition of rudeness to strangers?

🤣🤣

Thank you lovey! Not everyone wants to have other people's sprogs dumped on them, maybe your that parent who is pleased to ignore your sprogs, well done you're an amazing 'uman bean!

You know what's really rude? Using random women for free childcare.

I was such a HYPOCRITE about this!! 😂

Id be very “yeah yeah whatever” if an unknown child came up and tried to engage with me. Basically only slapping on a smile for the parents sake

but

if my child ever tried to engage with a dismissive adult, I’d be seething inside and willing the fucker to interact! 😂

@JudgeJ ,I was in soft play today and most of the parents /carers etc were just sitting down on their phones or chatting whilst the children /toddlers who they are responsible for were playing and guess what I had to be stuck with 2 girls age 4 and 2 whilst watching my son for about an hour,its frustrating and annoying I pay to spend time with my son

@JudgeJ

Nope. Thankfully my kid doesn't like playgrounds or soft play much so we stick to parks and woods. He doesn't like snide twats either so you are definitely safe from him.

Sounds annoying. You don't sound like you are, but the only circumstances I could understand this happening on a regular basis would be if you were one of those performance parents who insist on playing on the soft play and therefore are signalling that you want to play. These are the ones who annoy me- their lumbering adult size bodies get in the way of kids and they tend to hog parts of the area for their own kids and shoo away others.
I see on here all the time, 'ooooh the other parents sit there and ignore their kids'. That's what the tables, chairs and refreshments are for. Sit down, grow up and enjoy a breather. The soft play is meant for children not you 😂

This is unfair, in soft play and the playground I let my kids run wild as that's what it's meant to be used for. I don't expect any adults to play with or take care of my child but if you are in or climbing on a piece of play equipment then that's on you. I consider myself fair game too in this respect if I've gone in for a 10 minute run around.

I do however make sure my children are not in the younger section or causing a riot.

Absolutely fuming for you that you would encounter other children in a soft play centre or at the park. Simply awful.

What a vile thread this is. I’m struggling to believe it’s real. I’m glad I rarely encounter people as fucking miserable in real life as the parents on here.

Oh and if we dare to speak to the parents /carers about there child latching on us, they would state well that's what it's there for them to run about and enjoy themself.. Yes I understand however I PAY for my child to enjoy himself with me not for me to entertain them

I've been a parent for too long, but I have noticed recently maybe the last year or so this is happening more and more! In all my years as a nanny, and then a parent we're talking 35 yrs+, it's only started to happen recently.

Im quite good at directing them back to their parents and usually say something like 'ah there's your mum/dad they'll take you down the slide as we're going now' and usher them over.

It is a bizarre phenomenon of recent times

And I agree with this. Unless your kids are in a section not designed for them, or are otherwise being a pain, then they need to learn to play independently.

I can say for certain that neither of my parents ever inserted themselves into soft play or on to play equipment in the park with us. It’s usually completely unnecessary.

What for the inevitable post declaring that you must be one of those parents who ignores their kids and expect people like the op entertain them.

Clearly not possible that many parents manage to engage with their own kids without being actively unpleasant about, and towards, other peoples.

And yet you come across so happy and joyous here! 😂

Yeah I know what you mean, I think it's something lots of kids do, I've found it's the kids who's parents just aren't giving them any attention, their parents will be sat there ignoring them so they latch onto you because they see you there getting involved and showing interest in your child playing. I think in many ways I just feel a bit sorry for them. I do get what you mean though it can be annoying when random child latches onto you and you just want to engage with your own child. I'll let you into a secret I only really like my own kids, other random kids, nah I find them pretty annoying 🤣🤫.

Snurk :-)

I totally agree with you, I guess that makes me a miserable individual 😂

Haven’t these children been told not to talk to strangers?

These are the ones who annoy me- their lumbering adult size bodies get in the way of kids and they tend to hog parts of the area for their own kids and shoo away others.

This has happened to us . A woman with a toddler was blocking the entrance to the big ball pit where my DC wanted to play. My DC, who is usually quite polite, complained to me and, shying away from confrontation, I told DC to play somewhere else. I came back from the loo to find my DC in the ball pit and woman and toddler nowhere in sight. Apparently DC's grandmother (MIL), who was with us and who is much more comfortable with confrontation, had told DC just to shove past her if she didn't move, which DC had, and she'd flounced off 😂! No doubt muttering about lazy parents and out-of-control children.