Page 21 | To be quite rude to kids wanting to engage with me?

Brieandcran · 2023-06-27T12:04:25+00:00

I know - I sound like a really horrible person here and maybe I am, but I’m wondering about this. It feels like nearly every time I take my very young children to a park or soft play someone else’s child or children latches onto us and it’s really irritating. Today I was at the playground in the morning and two little boys were there and would not stop trying to get my attention. I was saying to my eldest that a piece of equipment was for bigger children and these two kids were shouting across me that no it wasn’t, they went on it, watch, watch. I ignored at first but ended up saying something like ‘thank you but I need to focus on my own children.’ Then ‘where is your mummy or daddy?’ But they just carried on. I also had it at soft play (with a different family) where someone actually had a go at ME for their misbehaviour and I had to quite sharply say they weren’t my kids! I don’t want to be unpleasant about it but when they don’t listen to not now, go and find your mummy or whatever - what the hell do you do? I really want to be playing with my own children not someone else’s!

Fandabedodgy · 29/06/2023 17:22

georgarina · 29/06/2023 09:40

Same 😊
My parents take my kids to the park with extra snacks and toys bc they love entertaining all the kids

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Aww they sound lovely. They'd be most very welcome where I live. And they'd have plenty of company from all the other friendly adults in the park too.

alabastercodefier · 29/06/2023 18:22

^Yeah, and I especially love the guy in the red and yellow suit with the recorder. He's the most fun ever!

God, people are ridiculous. 😄

NolongerMom · 29/06/2023 20:07

I used to get this all the time and it was infuriating. Other mom's would leave their kids to be supervised by me, they kids weren't interacting with my daughter, just me. After a year or so of it happening at every park and playground and soft play place I got fed up with it. (We lived in a small town) so I used to answer the kids loudly and overenthusiatically with a cuss word or two thrown in. The parents would soon come grab their kids when they heard me answering their kids with "no f-in way man, that's crazy!" If the parents said anything to me, my answer was, "you're the one leaving your kids to hang out with strangers, I could be anyone. 🤷🏼‍♂️ do better." They were lucky it was a small town coz anyone could've snatched their kids if they so felt the urge. These mom's were too busy on their phones or gossiping with each other, expecting strangers to babysit.

GrinAndVomit · 29/06/2023 21:09

NolongerMom · 29/06/2023 20:07

I used to get this all the time and it was infuriating. Other mom's would leave their kids to be supervised by me, they kids weren't interacting with my daughter, just me. After a year or so of it happening at every park and playground and soft play place I got fed up with it. (We lived in a small town) so I used to answer the kids loudly and overenthusiatically with a cuss word or two thrown in. The parents would soon come grab their kids when they heard me answering their kids with "no f-in way man, that's crazy!" If the parents said anything to me, my answer was, "you're the one leaving your kids to hang out with strangers, I could be anyone. 🤷🏼‍♂️ do better." They were lucky it was a small town coz anyone could've snatched their kids if they so felt the urge. These mom's were too busy on their phones or gossiping with each other, expecting strangers to babysit.

Yes. You’re a much superior person for swearing at small children. What absolute scum of the earth these mothers are. How dare they let their children play while they converse with other adults?

Feetupteashot · 29/06/2023 21:09

Drives me nuts. Kids trying to engage me in conversation e.g. bragging about they toys they have. I'm not interested and kids parents never on hand

MiddleParking · 29/06/2023 21:24

NolongerMom · 29/06/2023 20:07

I used to get this all the time and it was infuriating. Other mom's would leave their kids to be supervised by me, they kids weren't interacting with my daughter, just me. After a year or so of it happening at every park and playground and soft play place I got fed up with it. (We lived in a small town) so I used to answer the kids loudly and overenthusiatically with a cuss word or two thrown in. The parents would soon come grab their kids when they heard me answering their kids with "no f-in way man, that's crazy!" If the parents said anything to me, my answer was, "you're the one leaving your kids to hang out with strangers, I could be anyone. 🤷🏼‍♂️ do better." They were lucky it was a small town coz anyone could've snatched their kids if they so felt the urge. These mom's were too busy on their phones or gossiping with each other, expecting strangers to babysit.

What an incredibly strange lie.

mewkins · 29/06/2023 21:28

Lesssugarketchup · 29/06/2023 17:19

Bit annoying though. When you have to play bad cop and say no to the lollipop or breadstick die to allergy or fact that you’re about to head home for lunch or they get hyper on sugar.

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Oh well.

Oldandnearlybald · 29/06/2023 21:37

I find this really strange sorry. My little boy is very sociable particularly with other children and he will talk to parents.. I've watched him look bewildered as 'adults', yes grown adults ignore him or try to steer their children away. He's always been bought up to be polite, kind and he sees everyone as a friend. He's three, he doesn't understand that some people don't want to engage. I'm quite happy for children to come over and talk or play. It's how we teach children about friendship, communication, play and how to conduct conversation with others we may not know.

Hoppinggreen · 29/06/2023 22:11

I’m sorry, I am sure your son is lovely and while I would never be rude or cruel to a child I wouldn’t want to chat to him.
As you say he doesn’t understand that some people don’t want to engage so you should steer him away from them. Him looking “bewildered” is on you and him (mostly you), nobody has to speak to anyone they don’t want to.

legofootcasualty · 30/06/2023 07:54

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SophieBee182 · 30/06/2023 08:06

I politely engage for a couple of minutes, and then leave and say we are going now bye! Its annoying but I can't see any other way of doing it

Lesssugarketchup · 30/06/2023 08:12

SophieBee182 · 30/06/2023 08:06

I politely engage for a couple of minutes, and then leave and say we are going now bye! Its annoying but I can't see any other way of doing it

You leave? Even if your child is happy where they are and playing?

Just do your couple mins engagement if that’s what you like to do and then… ignore

so bloody way would I leave if my children didn’t want to, just so I could get away from an annoying child.

Happyinmyowncompany · 30/06/2023 09:16

Oldandnearlybald · 29/06/2023 21:37

I find this really strange sorry. My little boy is very sociable particularly with other children and he will talk to parents.. I've watched him look bewildered as 'adults', yes grown adults ignore him or try to steer their children away. He's always been bought up to be polite, kind and he sees everyone as a friend. He's three, he doesn't understand that some people don't want to engage. I'm quite happy for children to come over and talk or play. It's how we teach children about friendship, communication, play and how to conduct conversation with others we may not know.

I find it really strange that your son will be looking bewildered just because a grown adult doesn't want to conversate with him, you should teach your child that not every adult wants to engage with a child... If he wants to communicate and socialise he can do that with the children... It's okay for him to have small talk to adults but for him to get upset just because grown adults don't want to give him attention I find this could be because of attachment issues. If it was a nanny /childminder /nursery and school environment I could understand why your son acts like this

mewkins · 30/06/2023 10:32

Happyinmyowncompany · 30/06/2023 09:16

I find it really strange that your son will be looking bewildered just because a grown adult doesn't want to conversate with him, you should teach your child that not every adult wants to engage with a child... If he wants to communicate and socialise he can do that with the children... It's okay for him to have small talk to adults but for him to get upset just because grown adults don't want to give him attention I find this could be because of attachment issues. If it was a nanny /childminder /nursery and school environment I could understand why your son acts like this

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Have you heard yourself? What an attitude to have.

Happyinmyowncompany · 30/06/2023 10:37

mewkins · 30/06/2023 10:32

Have you heard yourself? What an attitude to have.

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I know what I wrote... You seem to have attitude of debating with people especially when their message is not in agreement of you... Goodbye

mewkins · 30/06/2023 10:41

Happyinmyowncompany · 30/06/2023 10:37

I know what I wrote... You seem to have attitude of debating with people especially when their message is not in agreement of you... Goodbye

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I just can't imagine being that mean spirited about children.

Oldandnearlybald · 30/06/2023 13:20

I was always bought up to speak when I was spoken to even if to just politely tell someone that I wasn't interested. So if I come over and start talking to you and you completely ignore me, as you would a child, I'll now understand why. It will be a learning curve for sure 🤔

wutheringkites · 30/06/2023 13:29

I find threads like this fascinating. If Mumsnet is anything to go by (which I'm sure it isn't), half the population are people pleasers who are literally unable to say no to any request and the other half think nothing of swearing at a kid in a playground to make them go away.

Thankfully, none of this reflects my day to day experiences.

GrinAndVomit · 30/06/2023 13:31

A world where we are pleasant and interact with each other politely or a world where we ignore everyone…

Hmmmm decisions,
decisions.

What happens when your children want to stop interacting with you? Will they be permitted to ignore you?

Wassa123 · 30/06/2023 15:46

mewkins · 30/06/2023 10:41

I just can't imagine being that mean spirited about children.

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Some people are just awful .... I would never ignore a 3 year old.

mainsfed · 30/06/2023 15:48

mewkins · 30/06/2023 10:32

Have you heard yourself? What an attitude to have.

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She's 100% right though.

Oldandnearlybald · 30/06/2023 17:33

Are we still in the 'children should be seen and not heard' realm? I won't chastise my child for being sociable. Talking to, having conversations with people and including others. If they don't engage that's actually on the adult because I've always been told to include others and it's rude to be ignorant. Each to their own

Frazzledmum123 · 30/06/2023 17:51

@GrinAndVomit But again you are missing the point of the post entirely! Very very few people on here are saying they want to ignore everyone, what a lot of people are saying is that they dont want to parent someone else's child. I mean, people keep saying it's helicopter mums v mums who want their child to be independent, but the ones most people are complaining about aren't being independent are they, they are simply latching on to a different family. They are getting the same experience they would with their own parents except someone else is having to do all the talking to them whilst the parent does their own thing. If they are so enjoyable to spend vast amounts of time with, then why are their own parents not doing it? MOST people on here have said they are happy to talk to another kid for a minute or two, what they dont want, and what the entire post is about, is to then have that child go on and on at them and not leave them be after a brief chat. I can't understand why people find this such a hard concept to grasp - you don't want to 'helicopter' over your own child but other people should be happy to have them follow them around instead or they are miserable?

mewkins · 30/06/2023 17:57

Frazzledmum123 · 30/06/2023 17:51

@GrinAndVomit But again you are missing the point of the post entirely! Very very few people on here are saying they want to ignore everyone, what a lot of people are saying is that they dont want to parent someone else's child. I mean, people keep saying it's helicopter mums v mums who want their child to be independent, but the ones most people are complaining about aren't being independent are they, they are simply latching on to a different family. They are getting the same experience they would with their own parents except someone else is having to do all the talking to them whilst the parent does their own thing. If they are so enjoyable to spend vast amounts of time with, then why are their own parents not doing it? MOST people on here have said they are happy to talk to another kid for a minute or two, what they dont want, and what the entire post is about, is to then have that child go on and on at them and not leave them be after a brief chat. I can't understand why people find this such a hard concept to grasp - you don't want to 'helicopter' over your own child but other people should be happy to have them follow them around instead or they are miserable?

Some of the most recent posts have actually said that it's ok to ignore a child and steer their own child away from them. That children shouldn't expect an adult to answer them. In my world that is really quite unpleasant and what a crap example to set for your own child.

And in what world is exchanging a few words with a child 'parenting them'. It's just not. But then quite a few of us think that the OP overstated what was actually happening anyway.

GrinAndVomit · 30/06/2023 18:00

Frazzledmum123 · 30/06/2023 17:51

@GrinAndVomit But again you are missing the point of the post entirely! Very very few people on here are saying they want to ignore everyone, what a lot of people are saying is that they dont want to parent someone else's child. I mean, people keep saying it's helicopter mums v mums who want their child to be independent, but the ones most people are complaining about aren't being independent are they, they are simply latching on to a different family. They are getting the same experience they would with their own parents except someone else is having to do all the talking to them whilst the parent does their own thing. If they are so enjoyable to spend vast amounts of time with, then why are their own parents not doing it? MOST people on here have said they are happy to talk to another kid for a minute or two, what they dont want, and what the entire post is about, is to then have that child go on and on at them and not leave them be after a brief chat. I can't understand why people find this such a hard concept to grasp - you don't want to 'helicopter' over your own child but other people should be happy to have them follow them around instead or they are miserable?

It’s hard to grasp because communication is integral to our society. Teaching children to just ignore people they can’t be arsed with is an awful message.
Like I say,
If your child decides they’ve had enough of interacting with you, will you be ok with them ignoring you?
If granny comes to visit and your child can’t be arsed to chat, will you be ok with them blanking her?