To be quite rude to kids wanting to engage with me?

[Brieandcran]

I know - I sound like a really horrible person here and maybe I am, but I’m wondering about this.

It feels like nearly every time I take my very young children to a park or soft play someone else’s child or children latches onto us and it’s really irritating. Today I was at the playground in the morning and two little boys were there and would not stop trying to get my attention. I was saying to my eldest that a piece of equipment was for bigger children and these two kids were shouting across me that no it wasn’t, they went on it, watch, watch. I ignored at first but ended up saying something like ‘thank you but I need to focus on my own children.’ Then ‘where is your mummy or daddy?’ But they just carried on.

I also had it at soft play (with a different family) where someone actually had a go at ME for their misbehaviour and I had to quite sharply say they weren’t my kids!

I don’t want to be unpleasant about it but when they don’t listen to not now, go and find your mummy or whatever - what the hell do you do? I really want to be playing with my own children not someone else’s!

I can only think that there are regional variations when in comes to kids latching on..I'm in the unfriendly south and I have not, in 13 years of parenthood, been followed around a play area by a child.

I think that there is something in this as I’ve observed Northern children to be much chattier on holiday than others. I did say this earlier and do keep asking OP where she is but she won’t engage. Maybe she finds me a bit like an annoying child!

😁 Soft play is like the tube here - no one makes eye contact.

And cake.

I feel like this about adults also 🤣 especially in the gym . Seriously, just adopt a vague “mmm” or nod of the head then look away …they’ll get bored if they’re getting no reaction. It’s a fairly modern thing that children think adults should be giving them attention at all times, they are there to socialise with other children not random grown ups !

I’m with you!

I don’t like other people’s children much - much like I don’t expect other people to like mine.

When I am at a park or soft play or whatever with my kids (5 and 7) I keep an eye on them (obviously because that’s what parents should do) and if they happened to be near other adults I’d walk over and make sure they were weren’t being annoying and shoo them away to play. Safety/risk issue too. Do I want my kids talking to strange adults at the park? Even if they have kids? No.

It irritates the life out of me that young kids are taken to parks then just ignored and left to play alone with no supervision while parents sit on their phones/do anything except watch their own kids. We were at the park a few nights ago and these two little boys (around 3 and 4yo maybe) would NOT leave my kids alone. My kids didn’t want to play with them so the boys started following ME around and asking me to lift them on to swings (major no from me) and nagging me to push them on swings/lift/help on climbing frames?! Nope! Never saw the parents the whole time we were there.Huge park. Near a beach and road. Dogs around. Parents were nowhere near these young boys. No-one seemed to be following them or keeping an eye on them and the park really was big and busy so could be easily lost. We actually left early as they were so annoying. When I left they were annoying the life out of another family.

Just so long as half of you don't want your children to learn how to tactfully handle wanting to be left alone. 😂As usual mn expecting children to be fully formed with all.appropriate social skills from their arrival through the birth canal. God forbid you have to go so far as to model good behaviour

I wonder if you are onto something here.

Where I am in Scotland - everyone talks to everyone. Kids, grown ups, everyone. All the time and everywhere.

And if you just aren’t in the mood for talking?

I don’t mean a polite ‘yes, lovely!’ to a comment about the weather or a ‘five past two - you’re welcome!’ if someone asks the time. I mean actually being engaged in a conversation. I can think of a few times when people have been quite persistent in trying to draw me into a conversation when to be honest it hasn’t been what I’ve wanted.

Re expecting kids to have social skills - absolutely they don’t, but that’s really why parents should be trying to!

... and they never will, as long as they are exposed to such rude adult behaviours 🤷‍♀️. You are setting a terrible example to your own kids too. But I'm guessing that's a matter of indifference to you.

What rude adult behaviours? 😂

Erm... Read your own post? 🤡

I have - I can’t see any rudeness in it!

And if you just aren’t in the mood for talking?

Then you say "don't mind me - I'm not in the mood for talking today" or something similar or get your kindle out.

It's not hard.

I do suspect PP is onto something here and there is a cultural difference.

Yep. North England here.

OMG- YADNBU, nothing more annoying than other people’s children, that other people can’t be arsed to parent.

The fact that 30 something % of people have voted YABU is what’s wrong with our society today. Too many lazy, entitled parents.

Would you consider yourself an introvert? I wonder if this reaction is more about you than the other children/parents?

Supervising your children is important but helicopter parenting / stifling their opportunities to engage with the community because or your own fears/attitudes is another.

There could also be something here about these kids being short of adult attn and seeing some opportunities to get some from you. Be generous!!

I've had this OP, it's so irritating! I just completely ignore the kids, they soon get bored and head off to find someone else to annoy (you maybe !!??)

I feel I'm helping them with their social skills - surely it's a life skill to understand not everyone will want to talk and engage with what you are doing / talking about whenever you want it? 

Although if I had a situation like @Mama2910 I might call the police (if a child/ren of 3 or 4 were on their own in a park for a significant amount of time with no adult seemingly around?)

Also OP, I don't worry about ignoring the children. If the parents ignore their own kids, they aren't going to be bothered about me ignoring them!

Easier in the gym- wear the biggest headphones you can find (even if you're not listening to anything) 😉

You saw a three year old and a four year old walking around a park near a beach and road with no adult for an extended period and your takeaway is that ‘they were so annoying’?

This

Your thread title: AIBU to be quite rude to kids wanting to engage with me?

Right, but the poster above seemed to be referring to a post where I give examples of politely answering questions but not actually wanting to engage in conversation.

@Fandabedodgy but according to some on here not wanting to engage in conversation is in itself unacceptable (or a sign of being from the South.) Not wanting to wish to engage in chat isn’t in itself rude - it can be, depending how it’s done, but generally isn’t. I think it is people who don’t take the hint and keep pushing it who are rude to be honest.

This falls on parents…kids don’t understand boundaries we have to teach them.

I never understand why parents don’t keep an eye on their kids playing/pestering people