To be quite rude to kids wanting to engage with me?

[Brieandcran]

I know - I sound like a really horrible person here and maybe I am, but I’m wondering about this.

It feels like nearly every time I take my very young children to a park or soft play someone else’s child or children latches onto us and it’s really irritating. Today I was at the playground in the morning and two little boys were there and would not stop trying to get my attention. I was saying to my eldest that a piece of equipment was for bigger children and these two kids were shouting across me that no it wasn’t, they went on it, watch, watch. I ignored at first but ended up saying something like ‘thank you but I need to focus on my own children.’ Then ‘where is your mummy or daddy?’ But they just carried on.

I also had it at soft play (with a different family) where someone actually had a go at ME for their misbehaviour and I had to quite sharply say they weren’t my kids!

I don’t want to be unpleasant about it but when they don’t listen to not now, go and find your mummy or whatever - what the hell do you do? I really want to be playing with my own children not someone else’s!

@Happyinmyowncompany

I don't disagree with your point but your final line is actually a disablist slur, so you might want to get your post removed.

Meh - myself and dh had this when our kids were younger and we went into the softplay with them. We got it especially when camping. I just felt sorry for the kids that their parents were a bit rubbish and not engaged with them.

The lazy CF parents are outing themselves with every sentence on this thread. They would rather scroll on their phones than parent their children. It is always the children who are being neglected by their own parents who desperately try to get other adults to engage with them.

Yup

That has got to be one of the worst comments on this thread. Appalling disabilism.

You might want to remove your post, clearly u another one who lacks comprehending skills.

@Happyinmyowncompany

There's no need to be rude.

I said I agreed with your point. However, you used a phrase which is unacceptable & I pointed that out - it's offensive.

The irony 😂

As a parent of a child with disabilities you should know better than to throw around disabilist slurs like "Are you slow or something".

Irony of what? 🤣

I actually find this upsetting because normally the kids round here doing this are being parented by shit adults who ignore them and they just want someone to talk to them.
I get this at work. I work on a supermarket checkout and the kids who are loud, attention seeking and 'in your face' (sometimes literally!) are the ones who have parents who are either ignoring them or glued to their phones.
A while ago l scanned a big shop while the customer's little lad (about six or seven) constantly said "Did you ever know...." followed by the most random and unconnected things that he made me laugh. His mum didn't even comment or engage with him the entire time.
I've had them talking 'at' me so loudly and continually that l struggle to concentrate on what l'm doing (okay, it's not rocket science, but l need to know every item's been scanned), and in a couple of cases they've actually come round to my side of the till and started either climbing on me, or poking around underneath the till.
And not a word from the parents. It's sad, really.

Where did I throw disability slurrs? I stated because my son has speech delay he lacks communication skills, sorry I should of mentioned he finds it hard to to engage verbally with other peers

@Happyinmyowncompany

You've been told 3 times now. It's the last line in your post where you used a disability slur to insult another poster.

You said "Are you slow or something"

That is a disabilist slur. If you genuinely didn't know that then some of these articles might help

The harmful ableist language you unknowingly use - BBC Worklife
Types of Ableist Language and What to Say Instead (verywellmind.com)
Why You Need to Stop Using These Words and Phrases (hbr.org)

They tend to latch onto the same people, hence why it barely happens to you and it happens all the time to OP. Some people just seem to give off a vibe. My Dad is like this… wherever we go kids seem to latch onto him like the pied piper and his grandchildren are obsessed with him. He finds it awkward. He’s actually very shy.

It is a shame for some children. It doesn’t make it any less annoying or any less exhausting.

As for argument above, I have to admit I think a speech delay makes it fairly obvious that further supervision would be needed given that the child wouldn’t be in a position to communicate themselves. I wouldn’t have phrased it in that way but it is annoying when people feign lack of understanding to try to make you feel stupid.

Oh ffs sorry if it's a disability slurr, I didn't know thank you for letting me know

And I don’t honestly think it’s to do with personality or appearance or any of the things people claim it is. A lot of the time it is if you have something ‘appealing’ like a much younger child or food or toys but sometimes it is just because you happen to be the only adult there which was the case at the park yesterday.

Glad to have helped. Maybe you could have read my post properly first time instead of insulting me though.

Yeah I would think you are rude tbh

Interesting. I've never had the experience of being the only adult anywhere children were around.

In my case, it is probably because I engage with children generally & am responsive to them.

I don't want to tell you what to feel bothered about, and I know you're finding this frustrating, but I think I'd try to accept it for what it is & not let it bother you as much?

OP is clear she isn't being rude - she just finds it frustrating.

@katseyes7

It is upsetting to see children so much in need of adult attention that they will try to engage uninterested strangers in conversation and play, while their own parents can't be arsed to spend time with them, but they have the entitled expectation that other parents should take time away from their own children to make up for their shit parenting. These deperately eager little kids are heartbreaking, but as responsible parents, our first duty is to our own offspring, not to enable lazy CFs to neglect theirs.

My children literally talk at me all day everyday, one of them has ADHD, I fully interact with them but sometimes I'm too mentally exhausted especially when I'm trying to pack shopping (and after trying to control their behaviour in the shop) that I can't deal with anymore. It's not lack of attention or consideration - I do tell them not to bother others (and I wouldn't let them climb over or poke someone at all) but sometimes you just don't have the bandwidth to even function some days.

You are seeing a snippet of someone's day, please don't judge.