Severe gender disappointment

[Birminghambabe]

Just read a thread about wether girl babies are preferable to boy babies.

Some comments made me think - if you are so dead set against a certain sex, should you be risking having children? I have seen some videos of people going mental that they’ve just found out they’re having a baby of the sex they didn’t want. Or saying they’d have an abortion if they had the sex they didn’t want.

I agree sex preference is so normal, I’m not talking about having a preference but still knowing you’d love the child either way.

Yanbu

I think anyone with a very strong preference shouldn't be having children. It's not fair to either the child of the wrong sex for their parents, or the child of the correct sex who might not fit the mould their parents obviously have for them.

Sorry I should of said risking getting pregnant knowing there’s a (not sure on actual statistics so we will say 50/50 chance of each sex)

People are entitled to their feelings I guess. With my first I really wanted a girl and got a boy. He is the best, most loving boy and was the easiest of babies. Then I got my girl and I was thrilled but she is much harder work. If I were to have a third I think I'd want another boy! I wasn't so bothered either way that I would have kicked off thought. I absolutely do not understand why people have massive gender reveals when they have a strong preference though. It's pathetic seeing people lash out or get upset because it's not what they wanted...it's a 50/50 chance either way!!! Just don't have a big reveal if you know there's such a high chance you'll be disappointed.

if I ever do have children I won’t be choosing to implant male embryos for multiple reasons.

Yes if you know you'd be that upset with the 'wrong' sex you probably shouldn't have children to be honest.
I think a slight preference is fairly normal but considering aborting based on sex feels immoral to me.
I don't think it should be illegal mind, I'm pro choice. But I don't like it.

Most people aren't in the position to make that choice 🙄

That’s why I’m talking about myself. No need for the emoji.

I thought that was illegal unless there was a medical reason?

You can do this outside of the UK.

I’d go abroad to do it. I’m from a misogynistic culture and one where inbreeding between cousins is common. The boys in our family tend to have issues. I’m choosing the most healthy baby possible.

YANBU.

A lot of strange and shallow people out there

Just want to make it clear before anyone thinks I’m a horrible person I am not against abortions and had one myself years ago - I am just talking about gender disappointment to the point that you wouldn’t want the baby and knew from the beginning you didn’t want that sex.

I think "gender disappointment" shows a person up to be utterly self absorbed and selfish.

There are millions of people who would give anything to just have one healthy happy child - assholes unhappy with the sex of their child really are not living in the real world.

Couldn’t agree with you more. Some people don’t seem to understand how biology works.

DS7 is the light of my life . It makes me sad to think that boys ( as it seems to be mainly boys mentioned in such discussions) are seen as a disappointment. I would change a thing about him .

Oh give over. There's a million personal reasons some may be disappointed. Not in the baby, but the initial finding out the sex.

I hate the "loads of people would be thrilled to have a baby, be more grateful!!!" tribe. Presumably no one should have an abortion too right? As they should be grateful they can even get pregnant!!

Emotions are personal. Other peoples experiences will not affect that.

Why do you want to bring girls into s misogynistic culture?

Absolutely this. You need to be prepared to love and support your children to be who they are, not just if they fit the mould and role you’ve decided they should have in your life.

It’s actually one of the reasons I’m not having a third. I would really want it to be a particular sex (same as the two I already have). And although I’m very certain I’d love it either way, I think my preference is too strong to risk it.

There are other reasons (finances, time etc) but that’s one of them.

The only reason why anyone should be able to choose the gender of their child should be if there are genetic conditions which are carried on one or the other chromosome. E.g. muscular dystrophy is carried on the male chromosome, and it’s understandable that someone wouldn’t want to knowingly put their children at risk of that.

As for “my family are misogynists so I don’t want male children,” erm, so you’re happy for any daughters to be brought up as second best then, as part of a missogynist family who will look down on them. Yeah, totally logical that, not selfish at all.

If you genuinely wouldn't want the baby, they yeah, sure, YABU. But I think it's more common on here to say people shouldn't have a baby even if it's just a standard case of gender preference, which I think is OTT.

@ForeverYellow I saw some comments on the thread saying they secretly feel bad for people that have boys. I saw one comment saying that if she disliked someone, she was happy they had a boy not a girl! Crazy

It’s totally ok to have a preference as long as you understand that by rolling the dice it could go either way.

I had a DS so with DC2 I did have a strong preference for a girl. I wanted a second child regardless though and had DD been a boy she would have been equally loved.

I have a friend who has a DS the same age as mine and isn’t having a second because she would only really want a girl, so she’s just not taking the risk. I think that’s sensible.

The concept is hard to understand. Boy or girl, they are SO individual.