Competitive school mum copies everything I do with my dc. Aibu to stop sharing info on out lives?

[Lightningstrikess]

A school mum I thought was a friend copies everything I do with my dc! She has children in my kids classes.
When we meet for a coffee the talk is all about the dc's progress.. My dc & hers are all in the top sets. If I said I was doing something with the dc they do it too always.. She quizzes my dc's on playdates & I feel she thinks mine are direct competition to hers.
Has anyone dealt with a similar parent?

What kind of things is she copying?

What kind of things does she copy?

I'd definitely keep my distance.

Yep stop sharing. Reduce contact.

Activities, any afterschool or extracurricular my dc start hers immediately start... One of her dcs started a club straight after my ds2, her son told ds I don't even want to go, mum said I must because you go..

She has text asking about the dc's test scores also

Either stop telling her things, or make really wild stuff up, like next week they are doing naked rock climbing!

Try and adopt an air of vagueness. If she asks what activities you're signing up for, say "Oh, we're still thinking about it". If it's reading books say "I got a range, they've not read any yet". Wait til after you've been somewhere before mentioning it. If it's playdates, then go for "Yes, they do play together sometimes". And move the conversation on when she starts asking about your DC's progress.

You could have some fun with that OP.
Mention that one of the kids had started pole vaulting or competitive origami making…

Failed them all! bloods kids! Get their brains from their dad.
Don't indulge
Or just ignore

Definitely ignore that text. If she asks again, it's "Oh I can't remember exactly, they did fine though"

🤣

Yep. “Oh fine. Why?”

Oh I know mums like this and it drives me up the wall! I told one my dc had started an expensive hobby that I know has a huge waiting list (she hasn't but I wanted to see her reaction). She was unfuriated when her dc couldn't join immediately! Also I tell her about sold out events we're (genuinely) going to, it winds her up that her dc can't come.

No! No! No! She’s way too competitive and people like that gossip as well.

This!

Sorry does it really matter if she copies you by sending her children to the same clubs and activities as yours??? Why would this even bother you?

Asking about child’s test scores is weird though and I wouldn’t reply.

Also maybe she just sees your children as really able, bright and intelligent and wants to try to emulate that with her own?

Activities wouldn't bother me, it doesn't matter. Though I'd just keep it to yourself if you don't want to give her ideas.

I'd ignore any texts about test scores.

"Oh I pulled my DC out of doing SATS, I don't agree with them"

The mum in question is a teacher herself (part time atm) & is very invested in the dc. I don't think she quite likes that other dc do just as well despite having non teaching folk as parents. Other kids with teacher parents in dc's classes who are nothing like this.

I kind of twigged something wasn't quite right when I try to talk about something eg fashion or Netflix & the direction is steered to the children /education chat immediately..

Because her son told ds he "didn't want to go but mum said I had to because you go".. (afterschool chess club)

Unfortunate for the son then, but not sure why you would personally be bothered by it?

Mention you're going to rent a field for your new ponies for your DC to start careers as professional jockeys.
Then say you are relocating to Northern Norway as one of you DC wants to be a cross country skier.
Regarding test scores, ignore a text and in person just say you can't remember.

When she texts asking about test scores tell her they did well and you're pleased with their results. If she pushes and asks for an exact result, tell her that it's pretty odd to be so fascinated by your kids' educational achievements. Then change the subject.

Stop telling her about extra curricular info. Be vague - if she asks tell her they are keeping busy and change the subject. If she pushes, ask her why she wants to know where they are going.

What if she really wants her children to be friends with hers so she pushes them to do the same stuff? imitation is a form of flattery. Once our neighbour completely copied our kitchen and lounge (decor, colour scheme, manufacturer etc). Annoying but I kind of see where she was coming from.

I’d definitely distance myself though.