Competitive school mum copies everything I do with my dc. Aibu to stop sharing info on out lives?

[Lightningstrikess]

A school mum I thought was a friend copies everything I do with my dc! She has children in my kids classes.
When we meet for a coffee the talk is all about the dc's progress.. My dc & hers are all in the top sets. If I said I was doing something with the dc they do it too always.. She quizzes my dc's on playdates & I feel she thinks mine are direct competition to hers.
Has anyone dealt with a similar parent?

I can’t wait to hear what brand paddle boards she bought and how much she spent on safety accoutrements as well.

@Lightningstrikess Why does it matter?

She sounds anxious about her own ability to think of everything she thinks she might need to do to (in her eyes) raise ‘successful’ children. Many parents are like this, her being a teacher doesn’t make it any less likely she’ll have these worries (in fact a mum I know who is similar to this is also a teacher). I wouldn’t mess around pretending to be buying paddle boards or whatever, she honestly sounds quite draining and I’d just find reasons not to meet too often, and as others have said just give vague answers to questions. If you try and think of it from coming from a place of anxiety (rather than just annoying competitiveness), it might be easier to bear, and to just try and ignore.

When DS was at school, if he went on a play date straight from school, you could guarantee that the child's mum would go through the visiting child's book bag looking for reading levels & test results.

I agree. Whilst it might sound like fun to play games with this woman it's not helping anyone. It is not helping the OP, as if she genuinely wants this to stop, fanning the flames is unlikely to do that. It's not helping the other woman as in all likelihood there is some kind of deep seated insecurity that is driving this behaviour and she won't suddenly "see the light" and change because someone has been teasing her. And it is definitely not helping the kids, who will become aware of being judged against each other eventually even if they haven't already twigged.

They say copying is a form of flattery, so pat yourself on the back. This would get on my tits too though op, so try some of the " naked pole vaulting " suggestions or find yourself a new mate. If kids are firm friends and you can't avoid her then keep the conversation vague or just lie to her as you feel fit.

Because we have friends for different parts of our lives. I have one friend who is very politically active and I’m not very interested in most of that (although I am interested in her). I am not interested in absolutely every aspect of each one of my friends’ lives (although I hope I am polite about it).

You’ve mentioned Netflix a couple of times. I probably wouldn’t know what to say if someone wanted to talk to me about what they watch on Netflix, partly because I’ve mentally filed watching telly as “antisocial time”.

It is possible that this woman is obsessed with your children’s achievements and activities. But it is also possible that she thinks this is what connects the two of you. Only you can know for sure.

I’m not loving the suggestions to make up weird activities and purchases - someone upthread said this is unlikely to help her.

It May be that the most grown up thing would be, next time she asks, to say that you’ve noticed that she always asks about your kids’ scores and is everything all right?

Well played! Just keep it like that and she’ll soon pack it in.