To think parents should back off, Prom is just a school disco.

[AIBUPromPromProm]

This week I've bumped into a few parents with 16 year olds going to Prom and heard about the crazy amounts of grooming, money and time going into what is actually a school disco for 16year olds.
We're a small beach town - all the hair dressers are apparently booked out for blow drys & make up. People are scrambling around for anyone who can sew to take up/let down overpriced dresses for still growing 16year olds.
My daughter's friends seem to have a crazy amount of appointments next week and no one else wants to go surfing incase they break a nail or upset their hair.
I'm surprised at how much our laid back town has actually bought into the 'most important night of your life' rhetoric.

I left school in the late eighties. We had an assembly with prize giving. That was it as far as school was concerned.

A group of us got together and organised a “leavers disco” booked a local hall, a DJ organised some willing parents to man the door, sold tickets (made a small profit which went to charity) and had a good time. It was a disco NOT a prom and was £5 per ticket bring your own refreshments. Even my DD said that sounds better than the formal proms organised by her school.

Just let them enjoy things and find something else to be bitter and judgmental over. My prom was in 2006 and we all spray tans, nails done etc. A big group of us also all hired a limo and had a whale of a time. Some people on here just seem to despise all forms of celebrating. However, life is short and some people enjoy getting dressed up and going out. Let them get on with it.

I graduated in 1996 and we all had beautiful dresses, had our hair and make up done and most people had a limo. It was at a banquet centre.

However, it’s a one time thing here, in Canada, and we were all 18-19 years old. We don’t have lots of balls etc, it’s one low key graduation for grade 8 and a bigger one for grade 12. Also most people I know had part-time jobs and paid. It was special and a lot of fun. I hope my kids have the same experience.

Some of the comments on this thread are awful, " porn stars" ffs

DS has just had his 6th year leaving ball, a mix of outfits , money spent etc but all had a great time, it was a chance for them to mark the end of an era

It can get out of hand yes, but only if you let it. DD dress £100 plus 30 to alter as she's tiny, definitely not from a posh prom shop but she looks amazing. Shoes form the Dune outlet at £40 and she will wear again, bag mine! I'm taking and collecting her and friend in a normal car. She is having hair, nails and make up done with the girl who normally does my pedi but it's not extortionate and she isn't confident with" non show"( she's a dancer) make up. At school she's normally the hair in pony no make up mouse! She's looking forward to showing them a little glam and how.to dance in 4 inch heals! She has worked flat out for the last 24 months and needs a it of fun which is what this is!

Its a one time thing here in the UK.too.too because yet again year 11_is the end of compulsory schooling in England
Seriously what is it with posters assuming every 16-18, goes to.a sixth form in a school?
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This was in reference to other posters talking about going to other balls, in uni etc. There’s nothing in my comment that implies I don’t know how school works in the UK.

You sound awesome OP - 'noone wants to go surfing' 😁 go enjoy the empty waves!

I have spent around £300 on a suit for my son, including his shoes.
It has nothing to do with insta or socials, he hates having his picture taken and never even takes a selfie!
If it isn't something that you or your child buy into then fine but I don't get the angst about other people making an effort for their children.

Just jumping in on this because son's girlfriend is expecting us to spend £300 on a tuxedo! WTF! Nobody else will be wearing one I am sure. Clearly it's a big thing for the girls. I wouldn't mind if it was a nice suit that could be worn for other things. And hiring one isn't good enough apparently. Talk about pressure.

They may not be in a tux but they will certainly be suited and booted!!
My son had a three piece suit, including silk tie and silk handkerchief. He also wore leather brogues with it, the total cost was around £300.
You may not want to spend that (hire one, get second hand, borrow one?) but most kids will be wearing a suit!
My son has had plenty of wear out of his though, he wore it to a posh meal he was invited to and has been wearing the trousers and waistcoat to job interviews so not necessarily a waste of money either.

Sovial media wasn’t a thing when I was 16- we still had dresses made, hired cars, went to hairdressers, got hotel rooms etc.

Somehow we all also managed to go to university and work and become fully formed adults despite having made a fuss of leavers dos- several of us are doctors/dentists/actuaries/city types or wheeled out on tv to give professional opinions about stuff.

Teenagers making a fuss about getting ready for a big party is not new, surprising or damaging in any way.

Private school teacher here. Lots of students go with groups of friends now, in the past there was the pressure to find a partner but that's gone now. The first 'prom' I went to I was boggled at the hair, make up, cars, nails etc. Honestly I think it's a bit mad. All the girls came in teetering shoes which they took off after about 10 minutes.
Some girls came in home made or home altered frocks and they were fine.
Heteronormative has gone now. I'm not into genderwoo but I do think the scurry to find a partner of the opposite sex is history and rightly so,

Thank god for the vote; I really expected it to be very different

No reason at all to deny them a celebration, but what I don't get is why so many take it completely over the top?

I wish they would just get back to the school disco days. Prom is such a waste of money.

My next door neighbours dd had her prom last week. All the neighbours came out to see her and her girlfriends dressed up and heading in a limo! It will keep our street in gossip for ages! All the girls looked wonderful and it made it really fun with all the photos and glasses of cheap fizz. It was something to enjoy,

How far back should they go?

Hair/nails/make up/ballgowns were a thing at mine over 20 years ago… so were limos. Someone turned up in a helicopter. Same for my older sisters and they are 6 and 9 years older than me.

The only difference I see now is that we didn’t do the tanning- it just wasn’t in fashion (we had intricate up do’s, nail piercings and gems on our toe nails and teeth!) but nothing else seems to have changed.

The kids do look ‘better’ or more perfect but I put that down to better products being available and them having YouTube to learn from so even the ones who diy the beauty stuff do a good job.

TBH it's probably slightly more than a school disco, however it is a bit ridiculous how much people spend on one evening.

Lots of people spend lots of money on things that seem ridiculous to me… I presume that they think it’s worth it, and since it’s their money then if it makes them happy, good for them!

I'm 50 and we had a leavers ,s do when I left school in 1990 ,we had a sit down meal in a restaurant and every one dressed up ,yes it wssent to the extent they do now but it wasent a school disco.

1990 - We had our leaving disco in a privately booked nightclub (local grotty nightclub, not some swish place). Most people wore jeans/denim - I wore a black denim skirt and the type of floral floaty blouse that was popular at the time. Air thick with cigarette smoke because it was legal to smoke at 16 back then, and 80% of the teachers smoked too. A blind eye turned to people who'd sneaked in booze. It was a good night!

Rightio, this is a discussion site where we can all offer views though, is it not?
Why quote specifically me and not just disagree in general?

Because this is a discussion site where we all offer views, and I have a view specific to what you said.

I have also posted ‘in general’.

Limousines? Seriously. Good grief it's post GCSE. It's starting to sound like wedding type stuff. We were lucky to just get a few days off and had the summer holidays to party.

Looks like we have a few more surprises to come then - more costs as well?

Rightio. 🙄