To think parents should back off, Prom is just a school disco.

[AIBUPromPromProm]

This week I've bumped into a few parents with 16 year olds going to Prom and heard about the crazy amounts of grooming, money and time going into what is actually a school disco for 16year olds.
We're a small beach town - all the hair dressers are apparently booked out for blow drys & make up. People are scrambling around for anyone who can sew to take up/let down overpriced dresses for still growing 16year olds.
My daughter's friends seem to have a crazy amount of appointments next week and no one else wants to go surfing incase they break a nail or upset their hair.
I'm surprised at how much our laid back town has actually bought into the 'most important night of your life' rhetoric.

It's gross isn't it. No value on the education all about the looks

As an adult I don’t buy into it but at 16, most DC are into it/peer pressure etc so I went along with it for DD - but I said maximum of £100 for a dress and no limo. Hair, nails and make up I paid for - was another £100.

Yeah completely agree. My daughters was last year and by the end of the evening I had a banging migraine and still feel traumatised by it now lol.
by the end it was a rubbish disco with an inedible sit down meal. Over in a flash and definitely not worth all the stress and money spent.

Round here prom is like a mock wedding … ridiculous and wasteful.

It’s social media crap that feeds this…. It’s created the need for the perfect image.

So you gave in. No one needs nails or professional makeup for a "prom"

@darkmodeon - I didn’t “give in” but I did set limits. My point was I don’t agree with it all as an adult but I wasn’t going to make my DD suffer for my views and she was so excited by it all. It wasn’t the hill I was prepared to die on to say no to everything

@darkmodeon - as a PS, adults do not need false nails either but of all the women I know, only myself and I other don’t get our nails done.

Times change. All 3 of mine had a great time at prom. Let them enjoy themselves after the hard work if exams.

My son is 1 6 and has no.interest in attending his prom non of his friends are going either ,but its not just a school.disco.is it?
.I'm 50 this year and even we had a leavers do.in a restaurant
There is a lot of pressure on teens these days particularly girls to.have the full works.

It’s the Insta generation sadly - see also the thread about making wedding guests go for a “festival vibe” with prescribed colour scheme 🙄.

It’s all about looking good in photos and SM bragging. Desperate.

We had a leavers ball instead of a prom.
Three course meal, 1 glass of wine provided per person, speeches from the head of year and head girl, some awards given etc.
My dress was made for me by my grandma, we all had spray tans, hair and makeup done etc. This was in 2006 and wasn't a new thing even then.

I remember my boss last year moaning about how expensive it was. With the £200 dress from a special dress shop, hair and makeup and nails another £100+.
Meanwhile, my son went in a second hand ebay suit and tkmax shoes and shirt. His girlfriend had a gorgeous dress she bought from a charity shop for £5 and repaired herself.
DS2's turn this year, same suit his brother wore (I offered to buy him one!) but I did splash out on nice leather shoes (£50) and a new shirt (£18) and his date is wearing a £10 dress.
No fancy limo. He did ask if DH would drive him there in his work vehicle (a massive road sweeping truck!) but I don't think that will happen!

There was a thread quite recently where someone said that they couldn't attend a wedding without a fake tan, manicure and visit to the hairdresser. Another where the OP said she wasn't high maintenance because the only beauty treatments she did were waxing, manicure, hair, fake tan and Botox.

If you are 16 and your mum has that POV, it's easy to imagine why the 16 year olds are emulating that kind of thinking and doing the works too. This school disco is more special to them than going to a wedding as it's the only end of year 11 school disco that they have. People often attend multiple weddings in their lifetime.

My DD Prom is this week. She didn't want a brand new dress, we bought her a beautiful gown at a prom dress event for a local charity £50. £20 to be taken up. She has asked me to curl her hair and minimal make up and she is not into make up. £20 each with two of her friends for a car there. She will look elegant and is comfortable with her hair and make up. I hope she has a fantastic evening as she has worked so hard for her exams.

And as usual it's the girls' outfits and grooming etc which cost an arm and a leg. Boys can turn up in unremarkable, inexpensive, ultimately reusable clothes having had a quick tidy up of their hair, while girls' parents feel under pressure to spend money on overpriced dresses which will be worn once, matching bags and shoes, nails, elaborate hairstyles, jewellery, make up etc. All reinforcing the concept of women's looks in the hierarchy of important things.

DD was 'prom Queen' and spend £30 on the dress on DPOP and did her own make up/hair etc. I find it sad that they all feel they have to do this.

I blame the Americans! Cider in the park was good enough for my generation 😂
Eye watering sum spent on a frock here, but she will wear it for other Balls. Or at least if she doesn’t want to wear it, she can buy the next one herself!

I would reduce such events by a simple thing. No school that has such an expensive and heteronormative event can ever be considered outstanding.

Agree ☺️

WTF has "heteronormative" got to do with it?

Heteronormative?

There are no rules about only going with an opposite sex date. They often go with friendship groups rather than a date, or with their current gf/bf - gay or straight.

It’s not just prom though it’s people flogging ‘school leavers’ T-shirts, shirts for signing?!? (surely they have one anyway), books for signing, mugs/cups/bottles and other assorted conspicuous consumption shite.

I do wonder how many of the people complaining about the hair, makeup, manicures etc and how they compare to the lack of effort boys have to make wear no make up, don't have their hair styled or buy nice outfits for events.

My DS and his mates are excited about the Prom. Most are going off to different places so they feel like it’s the final hurrah.

As with a PP it’s not something that excites me but why piss on the chips of a group of 16 year olds that have just done their GCSEs?