Page 10 | DH will divorce me if I join the police force

NotMyDayJob · 25/06/2023 10:59

TallerThanAverage · 25/06/2023 10:53

But that’s the thing with a potential troll post. Pick a contentious subject like the police and then throw in controlling partner that you were 16 and he was 22 when they got together. But because it’s made up there’s something not quite right like I've been offered an opportunity to join the police force (family liaison type thing, rather than on the beat, if it makes any difference). I worked for the police as a civilian for 15+ years and the way this is worded doesn’t seem right.
Just an observation, no more no less. I loved working for the police, I’d recommend it wholeheartedly.

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And to someone who has no police associations it reads exactly like someone who doesn't really know a huge amount about it and has been offered a civilian role.

Troll hunting is not allowed. Report the OP if you don't believe it.

Mmhmmn · 25/06/2023 11:03

"He isn't always like this though. Everyone loves him. No one would have a bad word to say about him and that makes me question whether it's just me.

That would be because only YOU are living with him and only YOU know what he is really like.

Kinneddar · 25/06/2023 11:06

pinkginfizz9 · 25/06/2023 05:43

Really? If that's the case , I think you've rumbled her! Trip trap , trip trap
...

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That was my thinking. FLO is a specialist police role. I've never heard of any force having civilians do it. I have a civilian job in the police and I'd never say I've 'joined' the police. Joining infers becoming an officer and that being the case you have to do 2 years probation as a response cop. I've also never heard of a full time FLO. It's usually cops trained in it who get utilised in the role as & when needed

Add in the age factor mentioned, post started during the night & a disappearing OP & well........

TallerThanAverage · 25/06/2023 11:07

NotMyDayJob · 25/06/2023 10:59

And to someone who has no police associations it reads exactly like someone who doesn't really know a huge amount about it and has been offered a civilian role.

Troll hunting is not allowed. Report the OP if you don't believe it.

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I didn’t realise that commenting on a possible inaccuracy (which was my first comment earlier this morning) constitutes troll hunting. If so, I’m not alone in this misunderstanding.

The post I have written here is just in response to the point raised that references to the type of job it is were missing the crux of the OP.

I haven’t said anything about not believing the post.

Original poster

KoalaBe · 25/06/2023 11:12

I haven't specifically stated the role for a reason, but it is something along the lines of FLO. Not that exactly.

It's a direct entry program.

I am not trying to get into a debate about the police - I would've just started a thread about that. I'm not sure what's so hard to believe about it? Maybe I shouldn't have stated anything about the job at all, it's not really even about that.

OP posts:

Timeforchangeithink · 25/06/2023 11:18

Honestly given my experience with police they're an absolute waste of space and I wouldn't be impressed if my DP wanted to join up, but I guess you need to have experienced just how shut they are to feel like this. You need a proper conversation to see why he feels this way.

AnyaMarx · 25/06/2023 11:22

I joined , my then dh did t like it either . Didn't fit with his anti establishment values but one of us needed to earn something and it was never goi g to be him .

I'm still in the police but happily single .

igor · 25/06/2023 11:23

Sounds like a perfect opportunity. New job and an ex husband

AnyaMarx · 25/06/2023 11:26

Oh and the job needs more women, I e always really enjoyed it but have been response for most of my career, last few years have t been frontline due to health but I'm a lot older .

Do it . It's a good opportunity. Career paths varied and every day is different.
(Well not for me now I'm driving a desk not a panda but ! )

3BSHKATS · 25/06/2023 11:30

KoalaBe · 25/06/2023 11:12

I haven't specifically stated the role for a reason, but it is something along the lines of FLO. Not that exactly.

It's a direct entry program.

I am not trying to get into a debate about the police - I would've just started a thread about that. I'm not sure what's so hard to believe about it? Maybe I shouldn't have stated anything about the job at all, it's not really even about that.

It absolutely is about the role. I’ve had the misfortune of coming across police officers on dating apps. They usually lie about their job which I feel really sorry for them because they can’t win. if they’re upfront No I wouldn’t of met them and because they’ve lied now I definitely won’t continue things.

I think you’re choosing a difficult path for yourself, which obviously is entirely your choice. But my understanding is that the police is not particularly well paid, and there are definitely easier ways to earn 30 grand a year than that.

2bazookas · 25/06/2023 11:35

He's afraid you'll be able to look up his criminal record that he hasn' told you about.

purplecat1 · 25/06/2023 11:35

Why does he hate the police? Have you asked why he feels like that? It's a bit extreme. But I know that many people have very strong feelings about the police.
I'm from a middles class background and my ex from years ago was in the police, lovely guy, but all of my friends and family really struggled with me been with a police officer. Once they got to know him, they were fine with him. But there is huge mistrust of the police in society generally. I would try and unpick why he feels so strongly as to threaten to end your marriage.

hoophoophooray · 25/06/2023 11:37

2bazookas · 25/06/2023 11:35

He's afraid you'll be able to look up his criminal record that he hasn' told you about.

You absolutely cannot look up friends and family. When I had a police civilian role, we had professional standards monthly emails come round, with details of why people had been sacked or disciplined. Misuse of PNC for non policing purposes was a common one.

One base I worked at had a real issue with parking. But because poor parking is not a criminal offence, we were not allowed to use PNC to find the owners and get them to move their cars, it's as strict as that

OneTC · 25/06/2023 11:38

I wouldn't divorce OP for anything joining the police but it would definitely be controversial

OneTC · 25/06/2023 11:38

*DP FFS 😅

NotMyDayJob · 25/06/2023 11:43

TallerThanAverage · 25/06/2023 11:07

I didn’t realise that commenting on a possible inaccuracy (which was my first comment earlier this morning) constitutes troll hunting. If so, I’m not alone in this misunderstanding.

The post I have written here is just in response to the point raised that references to the type of job it is were missing the crux of the OP.

I haven’t said anything about not believing the post.

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You literally said 'that 's the thing with a potential troll post'

And OP never said it was definitely a family liaison officer she said it was a 'type' role. It's not an inaccuracy if you mis read

RachelGreensHair · 25/06/2023 11:44

The police needs more women in these roles, if the police is "broken" then we need smart women coming in and helping to change that white straight man hold on it, well done OP. I worked as police staff for a number of years and it was the best job I ever had. Get rid. LTB. Get your ducks in a row. And all the usual :)

Theeyeballsinthesky · 25/06/2023 11:48

Maybe I shouldn't have stated anything about the job at all, it's not really even about that.

as the OP herself has said, it’s not really about the job at all. I suspect any job the OP wanted to do outside of the house would result in similar shouting & foot stamping

he was 22, you were 16. he has controlled your life and now you want some freedom. He doesn’t like it. Question is, what will you do about it?

diddl · 25/06/2023 11:53

he's stormed off to bed in a bad mood after shouting at me.

Sounds as if it would be a win, win then.

Who wants to be married to someone who sulks & shouts?

Liz1tummypain · 25/06/2023 11:54

Well that's f*cked up. You're going to have to follow your heart. Best wishes :)

AhNowTed · 25/06/2023 11:56

OMG this ISNT about the bloody police.

It's about the OP's so-called partner not wanting her to have a life or ambition of her own.

diddl · 25/06/2023 11:56

No one would have a bad word to say about him and that makes me question whether it's just me.

Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks-they don't live with him!

And you don't have to if you don't want to.

Plipplopdrop · 25/06/2023 11:58

Sounds like the kind of attitude I'd expect from someone who, at 22, thought that dating a 16 year old was reasonable

FlamingoQueen · 25/06/2023 12:15

Go for the job! If he leaves, oh well.

SpiralHecate · 25/06/2023 12:45

KoalaBe · 25/06/2023 11:12

I haven't specifically stated the role for a reason, but it is something along the lines of FLO. Not that exactly.

It's a direct entry program.

I am not trying to get into a debate about the police - I would've just started a thread about that. I'm not sure what's so hard to believe about it? Maybe I shouldn't have stated anything about the job at all, it's not really even about that.

I wouldn't bother trying to justify why you'd want to join the police, or the role you're going for, that's not what the thread is about, it's about your husband threatening to divorce you over it.

I suspect he'd have issues with any job that took you out of the home, and it's a big red flag.