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Original poster

Is it ever ok to go retrieve your ball from the neighbours garden without asking?

97 replies

Wheresmylist · 24/06/2023 21:52

Just that … would you be ok with your neighbours that you didn’t know entering your back garden through a gate without asking?

OP posts:
Theoldgreygoose · 24/06/2023 23:13

It's never bothered me - even when the boy over the back fence climbed said fence and trampled on my flowers. I really don't care - and if I found a ball in my yard then I threw it back.

CasperGutman · 24/06/2023 23:15

My neighbours are away for a fortnight. They've left me a key and asked me to put the bins put, park on their drive and water their plants. You bet if a ball goes over I'm hopping over the wall and grabbing it!

LyndaSnellsSniff · 24/06/2023 23:20

I think I'm ok with it. I know our neighbour's do retrieve stuff because I've spotted things like balls, paper aeroplanes etc in the morning and by evening, they've gone.

The only time I was really annoyed was when neighbour let himself in to trim the shrub that was overhanging the fence (from their side). For some reason, that really annoyed me.

CoQ10 · 24/06/2023 23:21

Lwg87 · 24/06/2023 22:01

What if there isn’t a gate? Our neighbour doesn’t have a gate, is elderly so I try not to bother her, and has commented that she loves hearing and seeing my children playing outside so my son quickly pops round and retrieves the ball without permission. 🤔

Same except they have a gate, and we know if they are in or out. So my kids knock, wait, and then use the side gate to get the ball if neighbours are out. If not, they answer, and my kids ask politely.

Flossflower · 24/06/2023 23:26

I am very lucky.I’m have wonderful neighbours on both sides. I have given them permission to retrieve balls.

TheGuv1982 · 24/06/2023 23:26

I’d get pissy very quickly, kids or not. Have some manners and knock on the door, and ask politely.

As for the wierdo further down saying how they’d “pop balls” if it was more than once a month, shocking.

cakewench · 24/06/2023 23:31

If there’s an open side gate and I know them (I do know both sets of out neighbours) then I don’t mind.

Agree that it changes things a bit if you don’t know them and it’s grown men coming in.

Also this is only if they’re coming through via a gate or something. If they’re clambering over the fence that’s very different

EbonyRaven · 24/06/2023 23:33

No. It's cheeky.

ThereIbledit · 24/06/2023 23:34

I think it's only polite to ask the first few times at least. But if somebody was popping into my garden to collect a ball and there wasn't a problem with them doing so like an unattended dog or them damaging my plants, then I don't think I'd care.

cakewench · 24/06/2023 23:34

My side gate is usually locked though so tbh I’d expect them to wait until they see me and ask me then.

A knock on the door is fine but it depends on how often they’re doing it!

NeedMoMoney · 24/06/2023 23:46

There was a ball in my back garden no to long ago, there are three gardens that back onto ours and I wasnt sure which garden to throw the ball back into, so I left it to see if anyone would come to claim it, we were out at the time and I saw on our ring camera that our nextdoor neighbours grandchild had come to knock on our door to ask for it back, when we didn't answer (because we weren't there) I heard the neighbour say "if they don't come back soon I'll lift the fence" lo and behold when I came back home the ball was gone from the garden...you bet I was pissed off! They came onto my property without permission! And could have damaged the new fence I paid for!

Monotonously · 24/06/2023 23:53

Never OK. Unless they've expressly said it's OK on every occasion and not to ever bother asking.

Otherwise your garden is an extension of your home and neighbors should never do that.

Bluebirds1987 · 25/06/2023 00:12

I don't think it's a big deal and I wouldn't mind someone going to get a ball.
BUT I'd at least expect them to ask the first time, then agree they can just go in and get it if it happened again so they don't need to bother me, or if I'm out so they don't get stuck not being able to play with the ball.
And nobody kicks it over on purpose, do they? It doesn't benefit anyone. Popping in to get it surely isn't such a huge inconvenience to anyone.

Cakeorchocolate · 25/06/2023 00:18

No.
It would only be OK if it was a prior arrangement that neighbour would prefer to let the offenders come round rather than knock and ask each time (as was the case with our neighbour when I was a kid).

TeaAndTattoos · 25/06/2023 00:35

Wheresmylist · 24/06/2023 22:46

Does it make a difference if it’s adults and not kids.

I think there’s three adult men next door, two are lodgers. They change so often I’ve no idea who they are. They’ve kicked a ball in and clearly entered my garden to take it out.

Sorry I just feel a bit uncomfortable, I’m a woman who lives alone and I just don’t like the thought of a men wandering into my garden.

Do you not think that would’ve been an important bit of information to put in your op instead of as a massive drip feed everyone has answered your question thinking your talking about your own kids not adults you would’ve got different answers if you had put all the important information in your op. Sick people drip feeding on here seems to happen when threads aren’t going the op’s way.

CarpetSlipper · 25/06/2023 00:41

It’s not ok without permission but the first time it happened I’d give permission for neighbours to retrieve a ball if they need to.

DragonDoor · 25/06/2023 00:49

It would be ok with me as we know the neighbours. There is a gap in the hedge, so they could walk on through.

Even if I didn’t know them and they had knocked but I wasn’t in, I wouldn’t mind.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 25/06/2023 00:52

Absolutely not.

The obnoxious clan next me did that once. Then I started popping ever ball/toy that came over and putting in the rubbish bin. They soon learned to not have their toys sail over my fence, as well as not to trespass.

This is the family whose patriarch thought it was fine to have their dogs defecate in my front garden each afternoon, and was outraged when I insisted that it stop.

I am happily watching them load their vehicles today with clothing and sundries to take to their new house across town, but its' been a grim 6 years.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 25/06/2023 00:53

NeedMoMoney · 24/06/2023 23:46

There was a ball in my back garden no to long ago, there are three gardens that back onto ours and I wasnt sure which garden to throw the ball back into, so I left it to see if anyone would come to claim it, we were out at the time and I saw on our ring camera that our nextdoor neighbours grandchild had come to knock on our door to ask for it back, when we didn't answer (because we weren't there) I heard the neighbour say "if they don't come back soon I'll lift the fence" lo and behold when I came back home the ball was gone from the garden...you bet I was pissed off! They came onto my property without permission! And could have damaged the new fence I paid for!

That sounds infuriating!

Have you confronted them yet? i would!

AlyssumandHelianthus · 25/06/2023 00:55

I'm far less bothered if it's a kid or if I know them or if it's the front garden.
A neighbour I don't know climbed over the fence into our back garden to get his cat the other day. I wasn't happy about that really because it felt intrusive. I feel like my back garden is my own private space.

Rosebel · 25/06/2023 01:08

In our last house I nearly had a heart attack one morning when I saw a shadow moving about through the curtains.
It was the dad from next door collecting son's ball.
We had a good relationship with them though so didn't say anything. I did make my children knock and ask though
My children know now (new house) to knock and ask but recently our neighbour said they can just get the ball without asking.
So I wouldn't fall out with my neighbour over it, assuming we had a good relationship but it's just polite to ask first unless the neighbour says it's okay.

RoomOfRequirement · 25/06/2023 01:10

Applecoresweet · 24/06/2023 22:14

I would not mind at all if a neighbour's kid came into my garden to get their ball because I am not a weird, precious, arse.

Absolutely this.

The drip feed about it being men changes it in this situation but I've literally never seen grown men kick balls into someone's garden.

Apricotflanday · 25/06/2023 01:13

Applecoresweet · 24/06/2023 22:14

I would not mind at all if a neighbour's kid came into my garden to get their ball because I am not a weird, precious, arse.

This.

LordSalem · 25/06/2023 02:48

No, send your kids round to ask politely.

If it's a regular occurrence take them to some kind of large public open space to play.
Kids over the back have broken my fence multiple times kicking balls too hard and then broken it further lifting a panel to come into my garden to retrieve their ball. The back half of my garden is given over to my rabbits and guinea pigs. Last time they tried to enter I roared at them that they are not to dare come into my garden.
They've knocked and politely asked ever since. Still hadn't stopped them and their Dad smashing individual fence slats with balls so there's going to be a point at which balls are popped or kept because they're taking the fucking piss.

LordSalem · 25/06/2023 02:59

As for PPs claiming they're not "a weird, precious arse", the back half of my garden is fenced off from the lower part so that my rabbits and guinea pigs can have free roam during the day, for that reason i do not want neighbours coming into my garden. The rabbits have been hit 3 fucking times by balls. When the neighbours have broken fence slats previously, my rabbits have escaped.
Also the point about men. The kids break the slats with balls occasionally, but the real damage happens when the Dad and another adult male have a kick about.
I can see from my bedroom window that their fences on all sides have smashed panels. Clearly just a bunch of kick happy twats who don’t give a shit.