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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it ever ok to go retrieve your ball from the neighbours garden without asking?

97 replies

Wheresmylist · 24/06/2023 21:52

Just that … would you be ok with your neighbours that you didn’t know entering your back garden through a gate without asking?

OP posts:
ApplesInTheSunshine · 24/06/2023 21:55

Nope. I would also be popping any balls that came over if it was happening more than once a month.

Wolfiefan · 24/06/2023 21:56

Definitely not. My giant dogs wouldn’t be happy. And neither would I.

Throckmorton · 24/06/2023 21:58

Absolutely not. I'd be happy to return any if asked, but coming into the garden is trespass, and a great way to piss off your neighbours

CleverLilViper · 24/06/2023 21:58

Well would you be happy if someone was entering your property without asking?

Obviously it’s not ok and tell your kids to stop kicking the ball over. Why anyone would ever feel entitled enough to enter someone else’s property without permission is beyond me.

speluncean · 24/06/2023 21:59

No definitely not.

Whenwillitallmakesense · 24/06/2023 22:00

Seriously? No, it's not OK on any level

23careerhelp · 24/06/2023 22:00

Totally depends on the situation. We used to allow the girls next door to come through themselves to get their ball as it was a lot less annoying than them constantly coming to the door and then us having to throw it back over. But now we have a dog and the gate is locked from the inside as I don’t trust anyone to close it behind them and keep her in. If there was no animal issues and the neighbours were just retrieving a ball, I wouldn’t mind. But if they were noisy/messy or a pain then I would.. depends really

byteme1011 · 24/06/2023 22:00

I would with a text saying popped over to get the ball assuming you are friendly

SheAppears · 24/06/2023 22:00

No.

Lwg87 · 24/06/2023 22:01

What if there isn’t a gate? Our neighbour doesn’t have a gate, is elderly so I try not to bother her, and has commented that she loves hearing and seeing my children playing outside so my son quickly pops round and retrieves the ball without permission. 🤔

ComtesseDeSpair · 24/06/2023 22:01

I wouldn’t mind. As long as they’re only coming in to retrieve a ball I’d probably prefer it rather than have them bothering me by knocking on the door and having me go fetch it.

Ponoka7 · 24/06/2023 22:01

It was open permission when I was young and I gave the same. I feel sorry for kids these days, or possibly those that live next door to the typical MNer.

Original poster
Wheresmylist · 24/06/2023 22:02

CleverLilViper · 24/06/2023 21:58

Well would you be happy if someone was entering your property without asking?

Obviously it’s not ok and tell your kids to stop kicking the ball over. Why anyone would ever feel entitled enough to enter someone else’s property without permission is beyond me.

This aimed at me or just in general?

OP posts:
uhOhOP · 24/06/2023 22:03

Ponoka7 · 24/06/2023 22:01

It was open permission when I was young and I gave the same. I feel sorry for kids these days, or possibly those that live next door to the typical MNer.

Because they don't want the children from next door wandering into their garden?

CleverLilViper · 24/06/2023 22:03

Wheresmylist · 24/06/2023 22:02

This aimed at me or just in general?

Show quote history

In general but you asked the question so at you as well.

Friolero · 24/06/2023 22:04

I wouldn't without prior checking.

Our neighbour on one side doesn't use their garden and has given us their gate code and said it's fine for my DC to come in and collect their balls without knocking. We wouldn't do it on the other side though.

Likewise we told our old neighbours that they could come in and collect their balls without knocking - now don't have any kids surrounding us so it's not an issue.

Stickybackplasticbear · 24/06/2023 22:04

My back gate is locked so it's unlikely but yep absolutely fine.

iwishiwasonhol · 24/06/2023 22:05

my neighbours kids would climb over the 6foot fence using the bins on their side and then open my gate to leave ,i put a padlock on the gate to stop this i did tell the parents first didnt want a 8 year old trapped in my garden ,nope not ok at all unless you have said that they can

FastBlueHedgehog · 24/06/2023 22:05

I'm ok with the NDN kids (who I've known since birth) popping in my garden if I'm out but you said "that you didn't know" in your OP. That is weird and rude to go in someone's garden who you don't know.

TeddySunflowers · 24/06/2023 22:06

I really like my neighbours and they have lovely kids so it wouldn't bother me so long as it wasn't relentless, but if it was a stranger I'd be very cross.

CleverLilViper · 24/06/2023 22:07

Ponoka7 · 24/06/2023 22:01

It was open permission when I was young and I gave the same. I feel sorry for kids these days, or possibly those that live next door to the typical MNer.

So sorry for the kids that they don’t have the run of their neighbours properties to do as they please because we know all kids are perfectly well behaved 🙄

Everyone’s entitled to have their own boundaries. If you were happy to let other peoples kids into your garden that’s fine but not everyone feels the same way.

Some people have dogs that could get loose because a neighbour failed to lock the gate properly. Many dogs have got lost or killed that way.

saraclara · 24/06/2023 22:07

If I was away on holiday, then fine..I wouldn't expect young children to go without their ball for a fortnight.

UsingChangeofName · 24/06/2023 22:07

Yes, if the neighbours have asked them to do that, then it makes sense.
When we first moved in here, that's what the neighbours asked our dc to do.

Another situation where it would be okay was if, as normal neighbours you got on, and you knew they weren't there and that if they were there, they'd have said "Yes, go through and get it".

I've only ever lived by normal, sociable neighbours though, that I've got on fine with, everywhere I live.

JudgeAnderson · 24/06/2023 22:08

I expect to be asked and I also expect it to be occasional not a badgering.

dimples76 · 24/06/2023 22:08

In our street the gardens are at the front of the houses so you have to walk through the garden to knock on the door. It would seem a bit more of a nuisance to knock given that you're already in the garden. It hasn't happened v often. Our neighbour on one side said just come and get it and the neighbours on the other side who have a large german shepherd said that if they find a ball they will just chuck it back over.