Wedding dress code for guests

[Thanksitsfromvinted]

More of a colour scheme as opposed to a dress code. Our wedding is not very traditional we’re going quite relaxed almost festival vibes. OH and myself have decided to save on costs and have no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Both of us have been bm and gm for friends and found it a task and never loved what we’ve had to wear and didn’t want to put that responsibility on people, it also saves us a fortune as we would have had needed to pay for minimum 5 dresses/suits each. Have lots of brothers and sisters between us and loads of lovely friends and we couldn’t really decide who to include in the bridal party without including everyone who came to the day haha! So instead we’re asking our guests to pick a colour from our colour scheme to base their outfit around, there’s quite a few colours to choose from hence the festival vibe and we want to put somewhere that even a hint of the colour is fine (shoes, bag, tie) so it’s not a dress code but more of an encouragement. This is so we can have all our lovely nearest and dearest in photos etc and they all look involved.

I’ve had one or two comments that asking people to dress a certain way is ridiculous, I’ve explained that giving them a colour scheme and their own choice of outfit was meant to be less restrictive than plopping all our family in dresses/suits of our choosing.

what do you think?

If there’s a fair few colours whats the point? People tend to wear bold colours at weddings anyway so wouldn’t it give you the same impact without stressing guest’s out into finding something specific? In the grand scheme of things does it really matter?

If I got an invite with that on I'd roll my eyes.

I think that going to a wedding these days is a ball ache, tedious and financially crippling.

We’re in a cost of living crisis and your guests need to now buy outfits to fit your colour scheme. Add gifts and travel. It’s a lot.

Your wedding, your choice.

But the above is my honest opinion.

If you want them to dress a certain way you need to pay for it. What if they don't want to buy anything new but don't have anything in their wardrobe that meets your colour scheme?

Mine would roll so far back in my head, agreed

It's hardly a relaxed festival vibe if you're dictating what people wear

I also think that wedding photos aren’t an activity.

Guests have to stand around being hot/cold/hungry/thirsty for ages and then grin inanely for photographs like they’re props.

The last wedding I went to the photos were about a third of the day.

Weddings are weird.

And why wouldn't you be able to have guests in your photos if they weren't in the right colours? You are completely missing what a wedding is supposed to be

So you don't want a wedding party so you don't have to pay for outfits, but you're happy to put the onus on your guests to have to buy something new? Hmmmm.

I rather like the idea but if you’ve already had complaints I’m guessing I’m in the minority.

Thanks for reminding me why I try to avoid weddings.

This is why so many people hate weddings

I think it's fine if your colours are ones that people tend to wear anyway and you make it clear that it's optional. But if you're asking everyone to dress in either purple, teal or tangerine, it's a bit off.

Relaxed but dictating what your guests wear? Yeah, no. Either make them part of the bridal party and pay for their colour co-ordinated outfits, or let them wear whatever they want like a normal wedding.

Wasn't there a celebrity wedding recently (Kardashian?) where everyone had to wear white? It looks completely mad.

I think its a pointless exercise tbh. In anything where colours or dress is prescribed, you will always, always get people who wear what they want anyway because if they dont have a suitable dress in that colour they wont buy a new one just for one occasion. Eg. I have lots of clothes in a variety of different colours but only a few dresses that would be suitable for a wedding so I wouldnt buy a dress in a specific colour that I was likely to only wear once. Sorry, but I dont think this will work.

Please don’t do this OP

please don’t

It is prescriptive, odd and infantilising.

Something I’d expect my children’s nursery to suggest for the day ie everyone wear pink tomorrow!

What if someone has a 'wedding suitable' outfit that isn't those colours? They would have to go out and buy something else.

Surely a reverse? You can't dodge the cost of a wedding party and then pass the expense onto your guests. They're involved anyway just by being invited.

You won’t get much support on here OP, where attending weddings is generally viewed as some kind of terrible ordeal, akin to going to the dentist or having a boil lanced without anaesthetic.

It’s a nice idea, but I’d just be conscious that some guests will already be spending a lot of money, and I wouldn’t want them to feel forced to spend more.

All so chilled, relaxed, festival vibe

and yet you suggest this

You've saved money on not needing to buy bridesmaid etc outfits but deferred costs on to everyone else attending the wedding. It's a nice idea in theory but I can see why it hasn't been received well in practice.

Exactly. Yes, people have clothes in all colours but a wedding requires a very specific type of dress/outfit and not everyone has a dress in every colour just in case

"So they all look involved"

Give over. Anyone looking at the photos will know the people were 'involved' in your wedding because it's not normal to have random passersby on the group shots.

Get over yourself. Times are hard right now and you'll be forcing some of your guests to spend extra money buying new outfits they can't really afford.

Problem is you're dictating what to wear without funding it, which is very different to buying or hiring dresses and suits for bridesmaids etc.

I'd go for something like matching buttonhole flowers for the men and a corsage or flower wristlet for the women. Then they can choose own outfits and they'll have something that matches which you buy for them. You could even get nice fabric flowers from places like Etsy.

Fucking awful. Get over yourself. How embarrassing for you.

So why don't you just say festival vibe and leave it at that? Although then your guests might turn up in Daisy dukes and wellies.