Wedding dress code for guests

[Thanksitsfromvinted]

More of a colour scheme as opposed to a dress code. Our wedding is not very traditional we’re going quite relaxed almost festival vibes. OH and myself have decided to save on costs and have no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Both of us have been bm and gm for friends and found it a task and never loved what we’ve had to wear and didn’t want to put that responsibility on people, it also saves us a fortune as we would have had needed to pay for minimum 5 dresses/suits each. Have lots of brothers and sisters between us and loads of lovely friends and we couldn’t really decide who to include in the bridal party without including everyone who came to the day haha! So instead we’re asking our guests to pick a colour from our colour scheme to base their outfit around, there’s quite a few colours to choose from hence the festival vibe and we want to put somewhere that even a hint of the colour is fine (shoes, bag, tie) so it’s not a dress code but more of an encouragement. This is so we can have all our lovely nearest and dearest in photos etc and they all look involved.

I’ve had one or two comments that asking people to dress a certain way is ridiculous, I’ve explained that giving them a colour scheme and their own choice of outfit was meant to be less restrictive than plopping all our family in dresses/suits of our choosing.

what do you think?

Of they're are several colours to choose from and they only need a hint of it in their outfit... What's the point? It's still going to end up a big hodge podge of colours!

I've never looked at a wedding photo and thought 'well they're not very coordinated are they'.

This feels like the opposite of “relaxed”

Our wedding is not very traditional we’re going quite relaxed almost festival vibes. then the dress code should be relaxed festival vibes. And then people can turn up in hot pants and glitter

If you just say that it's relaxed, boho, festival style, then people will find what they like without stressing about colours. A colour wheel would be more stressful than just telling everyone to wear any shade of green. How close to this palette do they have to stay?

What you're describing sounds confusing more than anything. Dress code labels exist because they have set definitions.

I think it's a bit wishy-washy. It's like "if you want you can wear a colour from this list, even if it's just painting your baby toe but if you don't want to that's OK".... What's the point?

If you really want to do the colour thing I'd just buy a load of ribbons in your colours and ask guests to put one on their wrist on arrival. You could get a cool cheering picture with everyone's hands in the air, job done.

Op it never even occurred to me that I could just not have Bridesmaids or Groomsmen! In relation to your Op yanbu I think a theme is lovely, no different than when people say black and white wedding surely? I've been to two of those and tbh it helped me pick an outfit. Secondly thank you so much for the idea not to have Bridesmaids or Groomsmen! I'm going to steal it. I have a huge family and lots of lovely friends that I can't pick a small bridal party this is sooo good.

This is so we can have all our lovely nearest and dearest in photos etc and they all look involved. they'll all be involved! They are there!

OP you’re getting a lot of negativity here, so am gonna stick my head above the parapet and say that my friends did exactly this, and had a colour palette / mood board of colours with the invites and wedding my info. It was brilliant. They had a multitude of colours and it worked beautifully. Their pics were so summery and bright, and as people that work within design / creative in their jobs it perfectly suited them (& v few guests were surprised by it!).

And obvs, no one was asked to leave pictures for wearing ‘wrong’ colours or anything silly like that. But it was a way of getting a sea of colour at their summery wedding and no one had a problem with it (as far as I’m aware).

Go for it. Your wedding, your choice. Ignore the naysayers.

Yeah I probably would have said something like dress code: bright or boho or something

Yes, either it won't be noticeable enough to be worth it, or it will be noticeable that 90% of your guests have dressed in the same colour palette and the other 10% have gone "fuck that for a game of soldiers" and worn whatever they want anyway.

"Colour palette" 😅😅

Oh good god no. Cringing for you OP

I got a wedding invitation recently that said:

Dress code - semi formal (we encourage yellow or bright colours)

I quite liked that phrasing, I don't think I will offend the couple if I don't wear yellow. but I have a nice yellow bag which I will opt for.

Just say “come and enjoy our relaxed wedding, and please don’t spend your money on new outfits because what we want to see is our lovely, colourful, interesting friends enjoying themselves and having fun, , not worrying about their credit card bill”

This. Say ‘Relaxed festival vibe — casual as you like.’ A matchy-matchy colour scheme is pretty much the opposite of a ‘relaxed festival vibe’, and makes me wonder whether you’re less ‘relaxed’ about the dress code than you say?

I was heading somewhere on the train last week and a couple in front of me at the ticket machine were heading to a festival. I knew this because he was wearing yellow Docs, purple and red-patterned wide-legged harem pants, a Pixies T-shirt and a lumberjack shirt, and a woven backpack. She was in denim cut-offs, a halter neck, cornrows and a lot of silver and gold face paint.

Awful.

If you what a relaxed wedding, why not just let them wear what they like?

Don't do it OP. Just say 'festival vibe'. There is no need for bridesmaids and groomsmen anyway. If you want a common theme for your closest family and friends for pictures - just hand out floral hairbands/corsages that match. Use fake flowers.

Your nearest and dearest are at your wedding so they are already involved.

No, you don’t want to pay for everyone to wear matchy clothes, so let them wear what they want to.
They will be ‘involved’ by being in the photo!

he dress code should be relaxed festival vibes. And then people can turn up in hot pants and glitter

Which is fine when you're in your teens/20s. Not so fine when it's granny, or older relatives/friends.

God no, just no.

I think the way you put it in second post is good - sounds more join in you want to but not to worry if they don't

All I want to know is the colours or at least how many

Can't you just tell them there'll be a relaxed vibe and to dress accordingly? If you chose a colour I didn't have (like green) I'd feel obliged to spend a fortune on a outfit and accessories.