Wedding dress code for guests

[Thanksitsfromvinted]

More of a colour scheme as opposed to a dress code. Our wedding is not very traditional we’re going quite relaxed almost festival vibes. OH and myself have decided to save on costs and have no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Both of us have been bm and gm for friends and found it a task and never loved what we’ve had to wear and didn’t want to put that responsibility on people, it also saves us a fortune as we would have had needed to pay for minimum 5 dresses/suits each. Have lots of brothers and sisters between us and loads of lovely friends and we couldn’t really decide who to include in the bridal party without including everyone who came to the day haha! So instead we’re asking our guests to pick a colour from our colour scheme to base their outfit around, there’s quite a few colours to choose from hence the festival vibe and we want to put somewhere that even a hint of the colour is fine (shoes, bag, tie) so it’s not a dress code but more of an encouragement. This is so we can have all our lovely nearest and dearest in photos etc and they all look involved.

I’ve had one or two comments that asking people to dress a certain way is ridiculous, I’ve explained that giving them a colour scheme and their own choice of outfit was meant to be less restrictive than plopping all our family in dresses/suits of our choosing.

what do you think?

I would have a pre-existing engagement which meant I, very unfortunately, couldn't make it. Such a shame.

‘Festival’ dress code = fine

colour restricted dress code = annoying!

I think it would depend n how the invite was worded. But I quite like the idea behind it, tbh. Providing the colour range is fairly broad, of course. I can imagine doing a rainbow shot, with guests wearing dark blue on one side, and bright red on the other

How many and what colours?

This!

Disagreeing with lots of people here but for balance, here goes!- it’s your wedding, the dress code can be whatever you like. I don’t see how this is any different to a dress code for a themed party or asking men to wear morning dress (very outdated I know, but still very much a request at a lot of weddings!). It’s even less of an ask if you’re giving a wide range of colours to choose from, chances are everyone will have a dress/ tie/ bag/ scarf in one of those colours anyway so no extra purchases required. If I received such an invite I would be excited to go and buy a new dress or accessory (yes cost of living crisis but I just got a new dress for a wedding in August from New Look for £15). Honestly, the negative responses from your guests are more a reflection of them than of you or your idea. If they really really didn’t want to stick to the theme, just don’t follow it and wear what they want on the day, but there’s really no need to give you grief in the run up to the big day. Wedding planning is stressful enough as it is! Good luck 😊

Everyone hating on this is wrong.

festival vibe! Colour palette!

mate I would love you for this cos the rest of us, your mates, would get literally months of joy down the pub taking the piss out of it when you weren’t there. I bet there’s loads of other stuff you’re doing that you don’t even realise is equally hilarious. I wish we were friends. you are a gift

Its your wedding so do as you please. No one suggested buying a whole outfit. Does no one get a new hair piece or a bag or a piece of costume jewellery for weddings anymore 🙄. The people who complain about it would likely complain about something else anyway and if they don't like it they can feel free not to attend. Personally i love a good wedding and I would enjoy that invitation as it suggests something different and quirky in place of the usual church and 4 course meal we've all become accustomed to. Best of luck OP ☺️

I don’t see how this is any different to a dress code for a themed party

I love a party, but I wouldn't go to a fancy dress party. I am no longer a student. Then, they were fun, but a lot of us outgrow that stage, after a bit.

or asking men to wear morning dress (very outdated I know, but still very much a request at a lot of weddings!)

Only amongst the aristocracy though, and, in those circles, all the weddings are presumably morning dress (along with various horse racing meets) so, presumably you buy it once and can get plenty of wear out of it.

Two of our friends got married recently. No dress code, but each of them chose a charity.

The groom said that he would donate £5 to Cystic Fibrosis charity for every guest who wore something yellow (his niece was a sufferer) and the bride donated £5 to Breast Cancer UK for every guest who wore something pink.

They raised a lot of money for both charities and I thought that was a great idea. I wore yellow shoes and a pink bra so both bride and groom had to pay up.

How wonderful @EmmaGrundyForPM

I think everyone wants their wedding to be perfect, don't you? I certainly did !

Meant to say also that I find your pretzel comment rather unpleasant.

I'm sorry you have had so many disparaging comments here. If you want hobo, what about saying 'as many colours as you like, the more the jollier'?

Hobo?? 🙈🙈🙈

I would be grand with it. I have been to two black and white weddings and both were very stylish. I have not been asked to wear any other colour, but I would be happy to.

Teal is a ridiculous colour to pick for that purpose. That was definitely not reasonable!

I did not expect the responses to be so negative when I read the OP.

I actually really like this idea, it sounds like everyone will be involved and things will be tied together. Multiple colours, and they can be just a hint? Likely everyone will have something that fits the dress code. For men it could be a tie, which are cheap enough or could be easily borrowed, and for women it could be a headband or shawl, again cheap enough and easily borrowed. Or they could go all out. It does not mean the substantial financial commitment that many people are making it out to be. I'd so go for it.

MN hates weddings, events, leaving home, people, spending time and money etc. My friend hosted her 30th witha black and rose gold theme. Bought some rose gold nail varnish and put on my black and rose gold jewelry i had. Fit right in and it was fun.

It's not a relaxed festival wedding if you telling people what to wear

You mean some people on MN hate weddings.

Personally I love an invitation to a wedding. In dozens upon dozens of weddings of all sorts I have been to over something like 45 years, the only one I remember not enjoying was one where we were invited to a remote hotel for a ceremony at 12, and then weren't fed until 6.30 and then it was 'nouveau cuisine' and the tiniest morsels of food on a plate. This was in the days before the internet / mobile phones / uber eats and we were cut off and starving.
That wedding aside, I always enjoy weddings, but I would not appreciate being told I had to wear a certain colour to be able to attend. Same with parties.

Oops, I have no idea where I got that from. I meant 'wild' !

You mean some people on MN hate weddings.

On a cultural level, there's a lot of hate for them, which is a bit odd since there's also a lot of (good) advice to marry before becoming in any way financially vulnerable. Certainly there's a huge race to the bottom of who proved their spirituality and great love best with the shittest wedding.

I love them too, personally.

I have another commitment so will be unable to attend.

Me too. Very unfortunate.