Left out of family holiday

[Nmum21]

My parents are away in Greece having booked earlier in the year - originally just for themselves. However since booking they have now invited all of my siblings (x3) plus a partner. We were not invited.

We have two children and I feel like they didn’t want us there. I hate to feel like I’m an inconvenience or not wanted because of the kids.

I get they probably want a child free holiday, but think it was quite thoughtless to invite everyone else in the family except for us. I can’t help feeling hurt about it.

To top it off they are now posting pictures and posts of their wonderful holiday.

Am I being unfair to feel this way?

It could also mean that the siblings with no children, work full time?
As we go our separate ways, the gap widens but families can be demanding.
Perhaps, the parents spend a lot of time with grandchildren, maybe too much can take its toll.
Surely, parents would not do something on purpose. The bigger picture needs to be seen.

Re read the op and follow up posts

does this seem like a family that happily gets together regularly and so a family holiday where all invited would be completely expected?

Or some serious shit has gone down in the past

Wow that is completely shitty of your family. I am not surprised you are hurt.

The crux of it is whether your parents invited the siblings or they invited themselves. If parents were the invitees then it's reasonable to be upset that they didn't either invite or explain that they wanted a child free holiday. If the siblings invited themselves then you have no right to be upset as you had the same opportunity to do so.

No the “crux” of it is how close this family is and how close the OP is to her parents and siblings. She makes no reference to this whatsoever.

So for example if the Op was estranged from her siblings and had a very infrequent and fraught relationship with her parents… not so surprising

What do I know

Her parents and siblings are holidaying without her and posting lots of happy family pics

Either - they are truly thoughtless and quite cruel individuals, in which case the OP will be fully aware and not least bit hurt uninvited

or

Not at all close, in any sense. And so a family holiday with the op was never on the cards and the Op knows this but it’s pissed off by the pics

This. There is absolutely no way I would do this to one of my kids.

In another thread by OP they mention parenting alone with two kids. But in this there is an indication of a partner.

Potentially the OP’s partner could be a point of a back story but who knows.

However, for all we know the parents booked a holiday that was just them (nothing wrong with that). OPs other siblings are now going but it’s not clear if they were inviting themselves or had been invited by parents.

Clearly this suggests that the parents / siblings have conspired to exclude the OP, which would be horrible. Or, this is a case of a lack of communication.

I don’t see any link between the exclusion of the OP being down to the children. Unless there is something that the OP hasn’t said.

Are your children in school? If this is a term-time holiday, maybe that's why they have left your family out.

Would you have gone alone and left your children with your husband?

This is controversial on MN I realise, and it might be a cultural thing as I'm not British, but I honestly hate how people think it's OK to leave kids out of family things. Until very recently my child was the only child in our extremely large family (I have 5 siblings). He was always, always invited to absolutely everything. Weddings, holidays, everything.

I find it really depressing that so many people seem to live their lives lacking such basic social and emotional intelligence.

'Hi OP, we were thinking of doing an adults only break to Greece in June. Do you want to come? If you arent able to sort childcare, lets look at booking a break with the kids in the holidays?'

How is that difficult?

I’m British and I hate it too.

OP, have you not asked them why this has happened, and let them know it's incredibly hurtful? If not, why not?

Spot on. I simply don't understand why the parents wouldn't have brought it up and explained their reasoning. How could they not anticipate how OP would feel?

Yes. Once one of us had children, then family things were child friendly, because the children were just as much part of the family as the adults. If someone wanted an adults-only holiday they did it themselves. I don't love how child-unfriendly so many people have become. They're part of family and society.

Nmum21, I am sorry to hear you have been left out. I had to miss a wedding because no children were allowed and the family members who could childmind were at the wedding.
It is hard to tell on limited information here:
Can I ask, Do your parents see your young children more than they see the other siblings? Do they help with childminding? Do the other siblings help much or do you all get on?
Can you meet halfway point next time? You could look after your children or ask the other sibling to childmind while you go on holiday? I think it is a shame to exclude children. But perhaps there were other factors too and maybe a misunderstanding between the families?
It would be real shame that a rift split the family. The more you can work it out together, the better for everyone.

Just to add further to my previous post.......I worked in a school and my holidays had to be child-free and no screaming kids. Luckily my children are teenagers so we could go to adult-only hotels. That is why I asked if your parents involved in regular childminding. Still, it is no excuse to exclude you.

Could finance be at the crux of this? the cost of holidays quadriple during school holidays.

They might not want to turn it into a holiday with children in the school holidays, preferring an adults-only break. How is it difficult to understand that?

That's so cruel. How does you being there make it awkward?You would think the parents would be glad of an extra pair of hands!

What a strange assumption. There is no backstory and we all get along well in previous years have all holidayed together with no issues! Hence why I am feeling left out!