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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WTAF? (SEXUAL ASSUALT/RAPE)

109 replies

BittenontheBum · 24/06/2023 07:36

Not sure if there's already a thread about this, I couldn't find one.
I feel like I should be totally horrified that this disgusting excuse for a man found SO MANY other rapists to join in over the years. But sadly I'm not horrified anymore.
I am really fucking angry though.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/france-man-films-wife-rape-b2362206.html?utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=Feed#comments-area
Would it be unreasonable to stay single for the rest of my life based on ALL the shit that men are doing/are capable of?
That poor poor woman 😔

Man accused of filming at least 51 men raping drugged wife over a decade

Husband says ‘none of the men who came to his house gave up going through with sexual acts on his wife given her state’

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/france-man-films-wife-rape-b2362206.html#comments-area

OP posts:
Fuckitydoodah · 24/06/2023 09:06

I can't get my head around it. Utterly abhorrent. That poor poor woman. How do you even begin to process

I genuinely don't understand how these sickos find each other online. Do they type into Google 'I want to rape an unconscious woman'? Do they go on the dark web? Not that I want to, but I wouldn't know where to start. Quite often these days I wish the Internet didn't exist.

Gingernaut · 24/06/2023 09:06

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 24/06/2023 08:24

*a safer place for everyone.

This is horrific and that poor woman. But rape isn't something that doesn't happen to men and its harmful to pretend it doesn't.

Seriously? Whataboutdamenz?

The common denominator here is men.

Men rape men, women and children and the world would be a safer place with far fewer men and greater safeguards for all.

I couldn't read the article, the headline alone is horrifying.

Freefall212 · 24/06/2023 09:13

Fuckitydoodah · 24/06/2023 09:06

I can't get my head around it. Utterly abhorrent. That poor poor woman. How do you even begin to process

I genuinely don't understand how these sickos find each other online. Do they type into Google 'I want to rape an unconscious woman'? Do they go on the dark web? Not that I want to, but I wouldn't know where to start. Quite often these days I wish the Internet didn't exist.

I don't understand that either. I feel like someone should have power to wipe out and destroy these dark web environments. Even if they eventually recreate it, it will take them awhile to find each other again and some bot should be constantly on alert for terms or searches or whatever alerts one to a deviant issue. Not every deviant is a tech whiz so there has to be a way to keep them from finding each other so easily.

Haffiana · 24/06/2023 09:14

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 24/06/2023 08:24

*a safer place for everyone.

This is horrific and that poor woman. But rape isn't something that doesn't happen to men and its harmful to pretend it doesn't.

It is SO harmful to think like this.

You are in danger because you cannot draw a line in the sand without trying to be 'kind' or fair or whatever you are doing to bolster your sense of self.

DontBeAPrickDarren · 24/06/2023 09:20

Newbutoldfather · 24/06/2023 08:56

It is 51 sickos in a population of 70 million or so.

Unfortunately the internet allows sick perverts to find one another, in a way that never would have been possible before.

However, to never have a relationship with a man because of of .0001% of the populations seems a bit extreme.

You’re incredibly naive if you think these are the only men in France engaging in such behaviour.

DontBeAPrickDarren · 24/06/2023 09:22

In face the article itself says there are over 80 perpetrators, it’s just that they’ve only identified 51 so far.

CurlewKate · 24/06/2023 09:34

Has anyone said "But women do it too!" yet?

RoyalGala · 24/06/2023 09:34

Absolutely awful! I read a news headline yesterday about a man who was obsessed with his female neighbour, he went on to brutally murder and rape her in her own home, she had bite marks all over her body and he had bitten of chunks of her face, she was unrecognisable. Truly horrific!

chemistnightmare · 24/06/2023 09:45

CurlewKate · 24/06/2023 09:34

Has anyone said "But women do it too!" yet?

Of course Sad

Maddy70 · 24/06/2023 09:57

FOJN · 24/06/2023 08:23

Would it be unreasonable to stay single for the rest of my life based on ALL the shit that men are doing/are capable of?

Of course not but the NAMALT crew will be along shortly to tell you this is rare and all the men they know are absolutely lovely.

Approx 90 men raped an unconscious woman, that sounds like quite a few men are actually like that.

90 out of billions but you continue to be fearful of half of the human race if you wish but don't undermine and ridicule fellow that Woman than believe namalt because it's a fact

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 24/06/2023 10:02

jeaux90 · 24/06/2023 08:40

@AnObserverInThisDarkWorld I think you need to check the ONS stats on this. 98% of sexual crimes are committed by men.

And?
That doesn't mean that men aren't raped

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 24/06/2023 10:04

Haffiana · 24/06/2023 09:14

It is SO harmful to think like this.

You are in danger because you cannot draw a line in the sand without trying to be 'kind' or fair or whatever you are doing to bolster your sense of self.

It's HARMFUL AS FUCK to pretend men don't get raped
It means men don't feel comfortable reporting rape (BTW, they get raped by other men....)

xsquared · 24/06/2023 10:05

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 24/06/2023 10:02

And?
That doesn't mean that men aren't raped

We're talking about multiple rapes committed by men on this woman onthis very thread.

No one has denied that men are not raped, but this isn't a thread about that.

JMSA · 24/06/2023 10:07

Fucking hell. There are no words.

saveforthat · 24/06/2023 10:08

Not much shocks me nowadays but my god that is absolutely sickening.

onefinemess · 24/06/2023 10:09

"Based on all the shit that man are doing"

Please stop labelling all men because of the actions of one.

PicaK · 24/06/2023 10:09

I really don't like the placing of that last line in the article. All those words about the horror and then the "and she's divorcing him". It looks like a deliberate attempt at humour

JMSA · 24/06/2023 10:11

I used to be on the chat forum of a dating/swinging site. People of both sexes are on there, and many made it a nice little community. However I left because of the number of male apologists and perverts on there.
Ladies, all I'm saying is, keep your used underwear out of reach of visiting workmen and males in general ...

JMSA · 24/06/2023 10:12

onefinemess · 24/06/2023 10:09

"Based on all the shit that man are doing"

Please stop labelling all men because of the actions of one.

But it's not just one man!!!

Haffiana · 24/06/2023 10:15

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 24/06/2023 10:02

And?
That doesn't mean that men aren't raped

Yes. They are. By men. Men rape men, women, children, babies and animals and birds. They fuck cars and dollies and toilet rolls and...

What the ACTUAL fuck are you getting out of posting this on this thread? Is your urge to virtue-signal so strong that you cannot read context anymore?

Whenwillglorioussummercome · 24/06/2023 10:18

Newbutoldfather · 24/06/2023 08:56

It is 51 sickos in a population of 70 million or so.

Unfortunately the internet allows sick perverts to find one another, in a way that never would have been possible before.

However, to never have a relationship with a man because of of .0001% of the populations seems a bit extreme.

0.0001% of the population is a rapist? That’s very much not true. A lot of women are getting raped and sexually assaulted. A lot of men are committing rape and sexual assault. Many of them are assaulting the women they know (and more than half of assaults on women are committed by a partner or ex-partner).

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/oct/29/research-reveals-rapes-and-assaults-admitted-to-by-male-uk-students

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/09/college-men-commit-rape-study_n_6445510.html

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/mar/18/ons-survey-finds-one-in-14-women-have-been-victim-of

Research reveals rapes and assaults admitted to by male UK students

In study of 554 university students, 63 admit to rape, sexual assault and other aggressive forcible acts

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/oct/29/research-reveals-rapes-and-assaults-admitted-to-by-male-uk-students

chemistnightmare · 24/06/2023 10:19

@AnObserverInThisDarkWorld

That doesn't mean that men aren't raped

Men are raped by MEN.

What is your point here?

risefromyourgrave · 24/06/2023 10:21

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 24/06/2023 08:24

*a safer place for everyone.

This is horrific and that poor woman. But rape isn't something that doesn't happen to men and its harmful to pretend it doesn't.

Do you go on threads where people of colour are complaining about racism and say ‘but white people can suffer from racism too’?

This is an article & thread about loads of men raping one woman. How about we concentrate on the overwhelming number of women who are subject to this every fucking day?

Not everything has include men. If you want to start a thread about male victims (of male perpetrators) then feel free.

Alltheclogs · 24/06/2023 10:26

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 24/06/2023 08:24

*a safer place for everyone.

This is horrific and that poor woman. But rape isn't something that doesn't happen to men and its harmful to pretend it doesn't.

Yes, sometimes men are raped (in minuscule numbers compared to women), but they are raped by OTHER MEN. Male violence is still the issue.

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