AIBU to think this is grim. Funeral.

[ThatFraggle]

A group of mourners all in normal funeral clothes. Some more formal, some less. Some not black. Fine.

Then a group of three girls. They looked older than primary school age, but younger than A level.

The one was in a skintight mini dress she kept having to pull down.

The other two were in those hotpants-vest combo unitard things people seem to wear these days. Basically like a spanx leotard, coming a couple of inches below the bum.

Yes, it's hot. And yes, people can wear what they like, but surely there's a time and a place, and a funeral is not the place.

AIBU that if it were my young teens coming down for a funeral dressed like that, I'd tell them to go back upstairs and get changed?

Part of me is wondering what about skin showing means they are morning any less?

but I do get your point.

*That's a huge age range. It's easy to tell the difference between an 11 year old and 15 year old.

No it isn't always easy. And that's the age range of the three of them.

I wouldn't assume it was disrespectful without knowing who they were and what they were told. Maybe they were told to not worry about what they wear.

Families are all different. We didn't have any service at all when my Dad died. We didn't know when he was cremated or get his ashes. It was exactly what he wanted and what we wanted. I wonder if some posters would find that disrespectful.

I’m an Anglican priest. I don’t think being in a church requires any special kind of dress code. I doubt very much God minds what we wear. I reckon he is just chuffed we are spending time with him.

I really like how you phrased that.

its common sense not to dress in revealing clothes when you are going to a religious building or sacred event such as a funeral

I might have raised an eyebrow but I think it's more important that they were present.

My elder DC went to both of my parents' funerals when they were just 9 and 7 - they wanted to go - but I wouldn't have forced them to go.

YABU.

I'd be happy for people to wear whatever the hell they felt comfortable in to my funeral if I was going to have one - which I'm not.
People's idea of respect though is very different to mine, mine is not related to the way anyone dresses.

@Lemonadestands thank you for being so welcoming 😊

That's a nice post. It's peoples thoughts that matter not whether they have spent money on clothing they might never wear again.

I'd be more concerned about selfies to be honest. People can be very strange when they don't know the culture of an event.

As I said, I don't blame the children, I blame the parents. But teenagers know what is respectable. Parents do teach their children that their social rules for clothes. And if parents aren't going to do that, perhaps the establishment where they're getting it wrong should. Otherwise they'll keep making the same mistakes.

So perhaps their parents should have taken the opportunity to teach them how it is sometimes necessary to dress appropriately for certain occasions

I work in a Catholic church. We've had three funerals this week, we average about 2 a week. So I see a lot of funerals!

It's not uncommon to see young women and girls in quite skimpy outfits. Some cultural backgrounds go for it more, some are more conservative. We don't have an official dress code and wouldn't dream of turning people away, funeral or not. Regular churchgoers tend to dress more 'modestly', but even then we have some of the younger ones who like to show a bit of flesh and big ethnic differences. Most people don't care and love to see anyone there, regardless of dress. You do get some judgey people, but no more than you get anywhere else. I wouldn't have batted an eyelid to see the girls as you describe, it sounds within the bounds of what we see every week.

It's not just about "God," though. It's about respect for one's fellow mourners or churchgoers, and for the situation.

Those of you who had fancy weddings, for example, would you be ok if your officiant had shown up in a skimpy unitard showing her butt cheeks and cleavage? Would you be OK with your kids' teachers in hot pants or perhaps the male teachers shirtless in yoga pants, to lead the classroom?

There is such a thing as appropriate clothing. Always has been, going back to ancient cultures, and always will be. The tired old "who cares what anyone wears anywhere, it's none of your business" rejoinder is frankly willfully obtuse.

A teenaged grandson son turned up to his Grandad's funeral in ragged trousers and a worn leather jacket.

Someone mentioned his clothing in a disparaging way to his grandmother- Grandmother said ' 'I'm just glad he turned up 💖''

That's the way to look at it.

Teens can be a bit self absorbed, but at least they turned up.

At my mums funeral, I don't notice as I was too busy grieving, or give a shit what others were wearing.

In fact I couldn't really tell you who turned up I was that broken.

But you don’t know their parental circumstances. That’s part of my point.

I think it depends on the circumstances. I was at the funeral of a former teacher of mine who passed away unexpectedly. Many of his current students attended in what would be deemed inappropriate clothing for a church funeral but they attended on their own, having never been to a funeral before wearing to them their best outfits. They were genuinely upset and had pooled their money together to buy flowers.

@oakleaffy imagine having to be grateful that your grandson bothered to turn up to his grandfather's funeral. Poor woman.

I don't. But if the children haven't been taught by this point, then maybe they need to learn another way. I'm not suggesting the vicar getting into the pulpit and hurling damnation at them!

Completely inappropriate and you would definitely not have been the only one there judging them

OP the fact that they were there to pay their respects to the deceased really trumps your concerns re their clothing.

Never said you were and certainly never escalated to that bizarre suggestion.