AIBU to think this is grim. Funeral.

[ThatFraggle]

A group of mourners all in normal funeral clothes. Some more formal, some less. Some not black. Fine.

Then a group of three girls. They looked older than primary school age, but younger than A level.

The one was in a skintight mini dress she kept having to pull down.

The other two were in those hotpants-vest combo unitard things people seem to wear these days. Basically like a spanx leotard, coming a couple of inches below the bum.

Yes, it's hot. And yes, people can wear what they like, but surely there's a time and a place, and a funeral is not the place.

AIBU that if it were my young teens coming down for a funeral dressed like that, I'd tell them to go back upstairs and get changed?

If you read previous posts, ideas on what to wear without having to spend any money have been mentioned.
Plus most girls will have a pair of trousers.

How do you know where the MNs are living.
Why assume they’re all Brits.
Opinions here could be from all over the World..

What a stupid remark. Of course they could be, but the MAJORITY are from the UK, as you very well know. It's also easy to tell the Brits when it comes to something like accepted attire, people in many other parts of the world are not so hidebound by old fashioned traditions.

There is absolutely no need to be rude.
I wasn’t
Youre also forgetting the many religious countries and communities throughout the world that have very strict rules and customs on what to wear.

Think things through please in future before you jump in and are rude to others

Me being rude!!! You were the one who felt it necessary to treat me like an idiot by telling me that I don't know where people on MN live when we all know that the majority live in the UK. I know where I live and I know what people wear to funerals here, and I know that there is no way on earth that I would probably know even one MNer in real life. You don't know the first thing about me and yet you assume I am stupid.

You also might like to note that I said "people in many parts of the world", I didn't say "every country in the world except the UK". I see so many posts on MN which make me thankful I don't live in the UK with all your silly rules.

I would tell my DD she can wear what she likes to a funeral. However, unfortunately we still live in a world where girls and women are judged harshly on their appearance. There are still some individuals who don't understand that clothes do not define a person and will look at what you're wearing and assume things about your personality and attitude. Because many years ago someone decided that showing respect for a deceased person meant you needed to wear special clothes, even today if you stray too far from that there are some who will think you're not being respectful.
You are completely within your rights to ignore that. They are obviously wrong, as anyone with intelligence knows a short skirt doesn't make you a disrespectful person. But I wouldn't want you to be upset if you see a few people staring at you or talking about you. People who think these things are typically rather ill mannered and might make you feel uncomfortable.

Agreed. If the children in the OP were wearing that, it would have been unremarkable. The clothes they were wearing looked like underwear.

Wow now

The level required is now tailored pants and a collared shirt?

And body con and strappy are wrong for the THEATRE now?

Get over yourself.

Theatres aren't fucking snobbery places now. It's not like when it was open to the highest in society only, unless you stood in a pit. Attitudes like that, proclaiming you should be modest and cover up and treat it like some kind of high society event are the exact attitude theatres are trying to DISPELL. They want people to know Theatre is for all.

And flesh baring? So women should be going to all these events covered head to toe? In fact no shorts or polo shirts or short sleeve shirts for the men either?

Zelda you are facing quite a stressful life for yourself if young girls not wearing “tailored trousers and shirts” upsets you. There are many countries in the world where you would fit in better - Saudi Arabia for example…

Every year my old university posts pictures ofbthr the graduations.

I bet some of you would pop a vein at the amount of flesh on show there 🤣

So, if after those conversations, they still decided to go to a funeral in hot pants because they like the outfit, what would you do?

@5128gap "clothes do not define a person and will look at what you're wearing and assume things about your personality and attitude." - but at the same time we do talk about expressing ourselves through clothing, and our choices around our appearance are a form of communication. Otherwise we would all dress the same.

Thatfraggle if you had an otherwise pretty decent 14 year old but who insisted on wearing a dress you didn’t approve of to an event what would you actually do? Interested to hear.

Taking into account this is a child you love and want to have a positive ongoing relationship with you don’t want to crush their self esteem and they are 14 not 4 so shouting and ranting at them and telling them to change won’t work.

Absolutely. But there's a difference between picking up signals about a person's tastes and interests, your t shirt tells me you like that band, you dress tells me you like bright colours, and extrapolating that a person with that style and taste has certain negative personality traits. In this case that they want to be the centre of attention, that they are disrespectful, even as some suggest when its females in revealing clothes that they're sexually available or their morals are questionable.

If they insisted on wearing hotpants to a funeral, I'd probably just leave them at home.

Mine wore a v short tight black dress. Didn’t love it but she insisted. It meant a lot to Dh extended family that she was there. She was brilliant actually particularly for a teen and had a lovely chat with Dh aunt the widow and her sister. She wrote to us afterwards thanking us for going. So forgive me for thinking attendance is more important than clothes.

Only issue were family members vying to compete with who dd2 looked most like when they were young (she’s stunning)

God this thread is miserable to read. Any girl aged over 10 should have tailored trousers?! Strappy this, skimpy that..?! I move around a lot for my job and was unfortunate enough to have to listen to the staff room drivel of a bunch of strangers yesterday. One woman was chatting to another about a top her 9 year old daughter wanted. She said 'no way was I buying it for her. She would have looked like a right little slut!' This is her own precious child she was talking about. Now I don't know the details of the top but good god that is vile. Having read this thread I'm going to have my will changed to insist everyone wears hot pants so I can laugh in my grave at how much it would piss off the OP

This reminds me of my grandmother again. I mentioned a while earlier that she spent her life in mini skirts.

Years ago, she was told by an in law that there was no way he was taking her to the theatre if she was going to insist on wearing a short skirt.

She said she was wearing one whether he liked it or not. And bravo to her!

The sooner women are allowed to 'bear their flesh' without it being seen like it's some hideous moral failing, the better. It's 2023 and people are still complaining about being able to see legs. It's absolutely ridiculous.

Very depressing quite right. However there is no need for kids to have new clothes bought when they already ( I assume) have a school uniform they could wear. So no one should put themselves under unnecessary financial strain.

No need for black these days. Unless someone’s set a dress code which I think would be very odd.

Yes this would be an option. But my school uniform was blue, not black, and I have not been to a funeral where people have adopted a "no need for black these days" approach. All the one's I've been to, it has very much been the assumption of the people there that they had to wear black.

I'd rather I (or DD) wore a slightly too big borrowed cardi over the body con dress, or pinchy shoes for an hour rather than disrespect the expectations and beliefs of family.

I'd have given her a cardi as her mum but I wouldn't insist she kept it on if it was genuinely hot. I think there's something a bit sad about preferring a young teen to sit there sweating and uncomfortable so that other people don't have to see her shoulders.

That’s unusual, are you UK based. I know in Italy lots still wear black I was at one there last year ( still not everyone tho) but
We seem to be doing a few funerals a year at the moment and even in Ireland where you’d think they’d be more formal very very few people wear black.
I was the only one last time, except for an aunt in a black cardi.

No one wears yellow, pink, orange etc but black is out. Excepting certain religions I guess and maybe countries ?

@IsThisReallyPC Yes I'm uk based - and I haven't been to loads of funerals. If you haven't been to multiple in recent years, how would you know that black is out? It's been the done thing for centuries.

Would advise op not to visit Spain. The teen girls outfits there would finish her off. Ours did a Spanish exchange so witnessed first Hanns. Made my friend and I feel better when our dds dressed like that “well they all do it in Spain”!