AIBU to think this is grim. Funeral.

[ThatFraggle]

A group of mourners all in normal funeral clothes. Some more formal, some less. Some not black. Fine.

Then a group of three girls. They looked older than primary school age, but younger than A level.

The one was in a skintight mini dress she kept having to pull down.

The other two were in those hotpants-vest combo unitard things people seem to wear these days. Basically like a spanx leotard, coming a couple of inches below the bum.

Yes, it's hot. And yes, people can wear what they like, but surely there's a time and a place, and a funeral is not the place.

AIBU that if it were my young teens coming down for a funeral dressed like that, I'd tell them to go back upstairs and get changed?

Why are you talking about the future? There's a little church somewhere that in half an hour or so is going to be full of topless guys in football shorts. You're really behind the times.

All this talk of church reminds me that I went to my friend's ordination, or licencing can't remember which, in a short playsuit which was either strappy and showed chest (I have boobs. They will show. I'm not going to pretend I don't) or was a bardot style off the shoulder deal. No one batted an eyelid despite it being a very important religious ceremony.

I bet they did. They were just too polite to say anything to your face.

This thread is mad. I live in Ireland where we go to a lot of funerals and I have never seen anyone go dressed like the OP describes. Even if the girls themselves didn't have the common sense to realise it was in appropriate surely the adults in their lives should have told them to change into something more suitable. It didn't have to be formal mourning - dark jeans or leggings would have done.

I'm certain lots of eyelids were batted. You just didn't realise😅
OP, YANBU, but I agree it was not the fault of the teens, rather their parents.

I bet they weren't
Because people generally don't actually care what you wear to church. And other women there were dress similarly.

Couldn't tell you what most people wore today other than one young woman was in a play suit that was low cut at the sides so you could see the bralette she wore. And I only remember that because she was getting so many compliments on how nice the outfit was, including from the Vicar. No eye rolling or tutting or judgement that she was showing some skin

Church people are far less judgemental than you seem to think (as evidenced by the PP who is a Vicar)

😔👍

I think you're absolutely right. I'm shocked at all the posters saying it doesn't matter as they are only teens. Teens need to be guided on what is and isn't appropriate. There are some horrendously entitled adults who have no idea how to behave, no respect for others and no thought in their heads that isn't about themselves. I can only imagine they start life as children and teenagers who never get educated on boundaries like this.

Inappropriate and disrespectful but sadly not surprising.

What you think Jesus would have thought about it? I'm not a Christian but the bible seems to portray him as an inclusive man. I imagine he'd just be happy that they turned up.

Not judging others is a pretty big part of the Bible
Jesus was known to associate with those the Jews considered unclean and bad.
Maybe PP need to think about that

For those who don't want to tell their teen daughters what to wear, do you think it would be appropriate for them to go to your wedding in the cycling shorts/crop top combo? Surely you'd be so happy that you wouldn't care? And if it was a church wedding, it's it what Jesus would want?

As above
Jesus didn't teach us to judge

OP, of course YANBU - that is not a suitable outfit for wearing in a church, let alone at a funeral in a church. But, sadly, lots of people on MN just like to be controversial & disagree with whatever an OP asks. I suggest you start a different post with a photo of a similar outfit and ask if it would be reasonable for your 13yo daughter to wear to a funeral, and then you’d get a very different response!! 🤣

My cousin's turned up to our grandfather's funeral in Jeans. Apparently their parents thought that was ok. It's something that has always annoyed me.

*Jesus didn't teach us to judge

Well then, what are you all doing on AIBU because it is literally a place for offering up judgements.

It was ok. The fact it still annoys you so much speaks volumes.

People do care if someone comes to a Church ceremony dressed totally inappropriately. Nowadays it's fine to wear jeans or leggings to Church and to dress in something fairly casual for a funeral if you're not very close family.

But wearing super revealing clothes to a funeral or short playsuits to a friend's ordination is disrespectful, and don't kid yourself that no one was commentating on your clothes and the lack of regard you showed to your friend on what for him was an important and religious occasion.

I don't think they'd wear the extremely short shorts or clubbling wear to an important job interview though. Their parents might also advise against it. They'd dress with more thought and respect for the occasion.

Why does someone's funeral deserve less respect than a job interview?

For teenagers to be at a funeral, I assume they were close to the deceased - whereas with adults it can be former colleagues, acquaintances etc.

Yes, it may not be the most suitable attire, but that is of lesser importance than the fact they were there. It might be the way they dressed when they saw the deceased - so you could say, why was it suitable then and not now?

OP cut them some slack.

one young woman was in a play suit that was low cut at the sides so you could see the bralette she wore. And I only remember that because she was getting so many compliments on how nice the outfit was, including from the Vicar.

I'm sure he keeps her in his thoughts at all times. 😂😂😂😂

So we need to cover up to stop men from having impure thoughts?

Do you even hear yourself?

Oh lighten up. It was a joke.

What was the funny bit?

😂

It's more than fine, it's pretty common to wear jeans and leggings to church

Hmm "for him"
It was a female friend. So you're very telling there
She didn't feel disrespected at all. No one did comment on my outfit being inappropriate. Because despite your desperate attempts to pretend otherwise people don't care