AIBU to think this is grim. Funeral.

[ThatFraggle]

A group of mourners all in normal funeral clothes. Some more formal, some less. Some not black. Fine.

Then a group of three girls. They looked older than primary school age, but younger than A level.

The one was in a skintight mini dress she kept having to pull down.

The other two were in those hotpants-vest combo unitard things people seem to wear these days. Basically like a spanx leotard, coming a couple of inches below the bum.

Yes, it's hot. And yes, people can wear what they like, but surely there's a time and a place, and a funeral is not the place.

AIBU that if it were my young teens coming down for a funeral dressed like that, I'd tell them to go back upstairs and get changed?

I have been in a similar position where for weddings and for funerals I have asked friend/ family and borrowed appropriate clothing. Out of respect.

I have been in a similar position where for weddings and for funerals I have asked friend/ family and borrowed appropriate clothing. Out of respect.

They won't necessarily know someone of exactly the same size as them that happens to have the kind of formal black attire the average teenager won't own.

But in any case, it seems fairly obvious from the fact that they were wearing black that they did not think the clothes were inappropriate.

I think they've probably misguidedly wore what they felt was most appropriate of what they had I.e. something black. If theyd turned up in a colourful summer dress or jeans many would think that wrong too.

Absolutely agree that it is rude to make someone feel uncomfortable in a social situation - but who? Making who feel "comfortable"? The person wearing hotpants and crop top? The celebrant/ priest./ imam/ vicar? The widow/widower/ other relatives? I don't disagree, but alongside this we need to also teach respect and consideration for the feelings of others.

@AutumnCrow not being in the least bit disingenuous. There are many stories of people being kind and charitable as a matter of etiquette so as not to embarrass others. Something the OP is absolutely not being.

I think a positive recent trend for people to specify in their wishes (or on behalf of their loved ones) is helpful - I have attended funerals where "XX would have loved you to wear bright clothes" was indicated, others where I knew family members held traditional, religious views, and you respect those.

There are some really dumb-arse responses on here saying ‘it’s none of your business’ ‘what is it to do with you?’ ‘It’s not the point’ etc. Those comments have no relevance whatsoever to the etiquette of clothes. Of course the girls’ outfits weren’t appropriate, any more than wearing jeans to an interview, having your boobs hanging out at a parents’ evening , wearing a long white dress to a wedding… we can all add to the list.
Suitable, appropriate clothes show respect and good judgement. Any bloody numpty knows that.
And why are posters having a go at the OP for what she THOUGHT ffs??

Obviously everyone has their right to express their wishes, but I'm never falling for the "wear brights" again. I wear something dark and take a colourful scarf now, after being the only one not in black at such an event previously.

I'd rather I (or DD) wore a slightly too big borrowed cardi over the body con dress, or pinchy shoes for an hour rather than disrespect the expectations and beliefs of family.

I agree, OP. You are right. But there are some real twats on MN who think ‘what kind of twatty remarks can I make?’ Read them, laugh, ignore and move on.

@floradora but as many have pointed out.. these youngsters were wearing black and were potentially thinking they were doing the right thing. Perhaps there was no adult around to guide them towards something a bit more suitable. In which case.. why be so unpleasant about them? The OP is incredibly vague about their age. Whenever I've been to a funeral ( far too many for my liking) I could quite honestly say I had no idea what other people were wearing. I was too busy mourning the much missed person who had died.

It wouldn't bother me tbh. Just typical teenagers.

Someone you know has died, and you’re concerned about clothing? Really?

Are you capable of composing a point of view, without being rude? Give it a try.

Oh, bore off. If you choose to take offence, it’s up to you. ‘Give it a try’ my arse.

I go to church. People dress how they want. Shorts and vests in the summer are perfectly fine. First holy communion had some parents in very skimpy dresses and skirts.
There’s no dress code for church these days. We aren’t living in the days if Sunday best long sleeves and long legs only. My niece wore jeans to my dad’s funeral recently. Lots of people might have sneered at that too. They weren’t black. Blue ripped with a pink jumper.

Ok. Point proven. Can’t argue with stupid, I guess.

Lol. Ok, rewrite my post nicely to show you understand what I was saying.

I’ve only attended funerals of very close relatives and friends and I have been an emotional mess. There’s no way I’d have noticed what anyone was wearing. I don’t think it matters at all.

Not referring to people you don’t agree with as ‘twats’ might strengthen your argument and make it come across as more reasoned.

It wasn’t aimed at you. Move on now and stop looking for arguments.

No, because I’d do anything for those I love, genuinely. If my dad told me I needed to dress as a giant leek (not outside the realm of how offbeat he can be!) then I absolutely would.

But I wouldn’t let anyone take photos - I’m not completely mad! Happy Friday to you too, hope you are enjoying it dressed appropriately! 😅

Tell that to cathedrals I've seen in this country, that have board's outside saying what minimum dress code they'll accept going inside. It might be ok wearing a thong and a string vest in your church for all I know, but its deginitely isn't in mine nor at those cathedrals.

I was at the funeral of a dear friend, his niece and her boyfriend ( both 20) turned up in black leather jackets with skull patches on the back. It did not go down well .

I think the rudest kind of people at funerals are the busy bodies judging how children get dressed , or anyone else I should say ! The only disrespect I see is yours !