AIBU to think this is grim. Funeral.

[ThatFraggle]

A group of mourners all in normal funeral clothes. Some more formal, some less. Some not black. Fine.

Then a group of three girls. They looked older than primary school age, but younger than A level.

The one was in a skintight mini dress she kept having to pull down.

The other two were in those hotpants-vest combo unitard things people seem to wear these days. Basically like a spanx leotard, coming a couple of inches below the bum.

Yes, it's hot. And yes, people can wear what they like, but surely there's a time and a place, and a funeral is not the place.

AIBU that if it were my young teens coming down for a funeral dressed like that, I'd tell them to go back upstairs and get changed?

Yes its inappropriate. No I can get worked up about it

I'd rather teach young people to rise above other people's judgment and to give zero fucks about it. I'd rather they be defiant than conformist.

If we're so concerned about the judgment of society, I think the OP and her ilk should be a lot more concerned that they'll be judged for being mean-spirited, unsympathetic and weirdly determined to put younger women in their place. Not a good look.

I am staggered by your psychic powers. Most impressive.

I know, right?

It’s what they wear these days, & probably their best clothes. I’d just be glad that they’d cared enough to turn up.

It really doesn't matter what you think, OP. For whatever reason, those girls were attending the funeral and wearing something that you thought inappropriate. So what?

I don't like this habit that certain types of posters have of rushing to mumsnet to criticise women for what they wear. Not at all ok actually.

In summary, not your business. Why not just focus on your own reason for being at the funeral and never mind what other people are wearing.

You're comparing people vandalising a bus shelter to young women 'scandalously' showing their legs and you think women aren't needlessly catty about other women's fashion choices? Riiiight.

Why don't we go the whole hog and bring back bathing machines? It's clearly grim that women are out at the beach in bikinis!! Have they no shame??!!

Oh, please. So tired of the "maybe they can't afford it" trope in threads like this.

Between charity shops and school uniform, find me one tween or teen who cannot muster up dark pants and a proper shirt. Or a skirt and shirt.

Borrow them from friends if necessary. There is zero reason to be wearing hot pants to a funeral. For that matter, jeans would have been a better choice, with school blazer.

It's clear that manners are not important to you.

But standard of etiquette and proper social behaviour ARE important to many people. Not everyone chooses to lead their life to the lowest common denominator.

Ah I'd just look at them and think that they didn't have a clue but were probably wearing what was their 'best' and they'll probably look back and cringe.

When I was that age I wouldn't have had anything suitable for a funeral and parents wouldn't have helped me with an outfit.

Thisisbollocks
You're comparing people vandalising a bus shelter to young women 'scandalously' showing their legs and you think women aren't needlessly catty about other women's fashion choices? Riiiight.

Why don't we go the whole hog and bring back bathing machines? It's clearly grim that women are out at the beach inbikinis!! Have they no shame??!!

Er...what? Now you're making things up! 😂

Where are you getting this from? I haven't mentioned any of the things past line 2 in your post. The rest can only come from your fevered imagination. Or confusing me with someone else. Or don't they teach reading comprehension any more?

My point was critical of Americano and the tedious, stereotyping accusation of jealousy - it's the last refuge of the logically-challenged. If you can't argue your point articulately, then just shout 'Jealous!' Job done. It happens a lot on MN.

Excuse me, but I think you're confusing me with the actual poster who claimed that jealousy was a factor. I most certainly do not have that opinion.

depends on the funeral for example it could be a travellers funeral & that is the way they dress so acceptable

I think the thing js young girls don't see short shorts the way we do, obviously if they turned up in something sparkly or with a push up bra that's different, because they'd know it was inappropriate. I think they probably thought, "it's a hot day ill wear shorts". I wouldn't have a problem because I'd bet it was an innocent mistake that they'll look back on and cringe about when they are older.

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune Pretty privileged of you. I've literally just said that I actually don't have the money to spend on clothes for a special occasion. If my children were older and were teens - neither would they.

It's pretty sad to put "some people do care about etiquette" so rigidly above acknowledging that lots of people don't have a lot of money to spare these days.

Yes it might not be the answer in this case, I think it's more likely to be what other people are saying about this just being normal for people that age. But I think it's something a lot of people on here could do with considering.

I'm amazed at your audacity to attempt to lecturer on manners and etiquette. What on earth do you know of that?

Etiquette has always been about graciousness and making people feel comfortable, which is probably why it is a timeless concept.

My 30 or even 40 old self would agree with you.
My 50 year old self would think its likely their parents are distracted in their grief and its non of my business what their daughter's wear - they are not hurting anyone.

I don't have any issue with my reading comprehension skills, but thanks for taking an interest.

You brought up vandalising bus shelters, which is not in any way relevant to this topic unless you feel they genuinely are comparable.

And frankly, yes I do think women are envious of other women's bodies. Of course they are. I've been blessed with a good figure and the disgusted looks I've received over the years are gargantuan in number.

They're just shorts. They're just legs. Why are you sneering at being able to see them? They shouldn't cause a visceral reaction in you that makes you draw comparisons to vandalism. It reeks of jealousy and puritanism.

I can't believe someone who made such an ignorant, rude, and unnecessary comment about someone dealing with their grief is lecturing other people on etiquette. Christ on a bicycle!

For all the people saying “ah it’s fine to turn up half dressed to a funeral…” would you turn up like that?

would you turn up to a job interview in the manner described by the OP?

No but I think it’s different for
teenagers. You need to cut them some slack when they flounder on attending out of the ordinary events. Do you have teens?

My teenager turned up to an elderly neighbour's funeral in a bright flowered minidress and colourful Doc Martens. I expect some of the attendees were horrified, and indeed DD was mildly embarrassed. But the widower had asked her to 'come in something that DW loved', so she did.

These girls might have been wearing something their relative bought for them or admired.

And frankly, yes I do think women are envious of other women's bodies. Of course they are. I've been blessed with a good figure and the disgusted looks I've received over the years are gargantuan in number.

They're just shorts. They're just legs. Why are you sneering at being able to see them? They shouldn't cause a visceral reaction in you that makes you draw comparisons to vandalism. It reeks of jealousy and puritanism.

Thisisbollocks - please pay attention at the back!

What on earth is your second para above referring to? Where do I even mention...shorts...legs...? You must be mistaking me for another poster.

Honestly - how ridiculous! It's one thing to argue about things you've said, but to have to argue against things which another pp has just dreamed up is a bridge too far. I'm going into bold print to try and spell this out:

My point was (for the third time): it's lazy, predictable, anti-feminist, stereotyping and just stupid to accuse people of jealousy when they criticise behaviour. My bus vandalising metaphor was simply to show that disapproving of something doesn't equal being jealous of the perpetrators.

Just to be absolutely clear: I have no interest in what other women wear unless I want to get a similar look myself, and then I'd be very interested.

Thisisbollocks

Oh, and for the record - well done, you, for being so gorgeous.

I'm not so bad myself!

I'm trying to imagine teenage cousins at my dad's funeral. Absolutely no idea what they were wearing. If they'd worn something tight or short, I'd have still been grateful they came. Funerals are so awful, it just isn't the time for all this rush to judgement. They'll work it out as they get older, and hopefully won't have any more loved ones' funerals to go to for a long while.