AIBU to think this is grim. Funeral.

[ThatFraggle]

A group of mourners all in normal funeral clothes. Some more formal, some less. Some not black. Fine.

Then a group of three girls. They looked older than primary school age, but younger than A level.

The one was in a skintight mini dress she kept having to pull down.

The other two were in those hotpants-vest combo unitard things people seem to wear these days. Basically like a spanx leotard, coming a couple of inches below the bum.

Yes, it's hot. And yes, people can wear what they like, but surely there's a time and a place, and a funeral is not the place.

AIBU that if it were my young teens coming down for a funeral dressed like that, I'd tell them to go back upstairs and get changed?

They turned up. Must have respected the deceased end of

Hopefully but not necessarily. They may have just been told they were going by their parents.

I agree with the OP. People attending funerals should not be attracting attention to themselves. At my husband’s funeral everyone was dressed in a sober and discreet manner except for my 30 year old nephew, who dressed like a surfer in saggy jeans and a sloppy t-shirt.

I noticed. I was offended.

A few weeks later after my mother died, he went to her funeral in more formal clothes. I think his parents checked on him.

I wear hot pants nearly every day. It's got nothing to do with wanting to draw attention to myself. I like them and they suit me.

Honestly, people can get to fuck with telling me it's inappropriate or attention seeking. They're just legs. Get over it.

Unpopular opinion, but why is it a thing to dress up at funerals? I don’t get it… you’re there to say goodbye and pay your respects, the dead person doesn’t care what you’re wearing because they can’t see. I really don’t understand what the big deal is… when I die I’ve told my family I don’t care what they wear, could wear a tracksuit for all I care, I’m dead I won’t give one. I just think it’s a sad occasion anyway and wearing black just makes it more dreary…

It sounds like they wanted to attend the funeral of a loved one. If they are young maybe it's their first funeral. They wore black believing it to be respectful and the "right" thing to do.

Of course it’s inappropriate and yes, their parents should have helped them.

Yup.

🙄

Yeah I agree it was inappropriate. Perhaps they thought they had to wear black. But in any case it's sad if they weren't advised appropriately by parents. Some people may think it doesn't matter but dressing respectfully absolutely means not flaunting body parts, male or female. If a male went to a funeral in shorts it would also be inappropriate, with the exception of funerals that directly ask people to dress in a certain way to reflect the deceased person's personality.

👍

My mother died when I was 19. It was freezing, and there was snow on the ground when we buried her. As such, I and the overwhelming majority of the mourners were all bundled up. One of my closest friends turned up wearing a low-cut suit, with a scarf wrapped tightly round her neck. Given her cleavage was entirely on display, I have often wondered just how warm that scarf kept her, as would my mother, and she would have rolled her eyes, and probably laughed. I know I didn't bat an eyelid when I saw her. The only thing that really mattered to me that day was she went to my mother's funeral.

Thirty years later, that friend's dedication to showing her tits still makes me laugh.

I really don't think it really matters one jot what people who are attending a funeral elect to wear. The important thing is being there.

Are they those awful ones that are basically like seeing bare asses walking round the supermarket? They're barely appropriate for the gym (imo)!

Would you, in all honestly, wear your hotpants to a funeral though?

Well, now they know, "Must wear black. I've got black. Phew. Must cover arse."
Maybe, they can pass their knowledge onto their parents.

Young people often don't own many black clothes and so are limited as to what to wear to a funeral. If it's a choice between a black hoodie and leggings and a dress they consider smart or dressy they will probably choose the smarter option. The important thing is that they were there.

My sister wore something pretty skimpy to our dads funeral for just this reason. I hope no one judged her.

Yeah I probably would.

I'd love to know what exactly is so deeply offensive about my thighs.

Congratulations, by all means wear them every day if you feel comfortable. We are not talking about ‘everyday wear’ though are we? Honestly some people can get to fuck with their inability to critically assess and analyse what others are saying.

Do you know, that’s so sweet. All the best moments - if that is not an odd thing to say - from all the funerals I have been to have been the quirky moments. Laughter definitely takes the edge off grief. We only found out my Nana’s middle name at her funeral - literally none of her children knew - Eglantine! It means ‘Sweet Briar’ or something apparently. And all of her grandkids who were there said: “She’s Nana Eggy now…” and no one thought that’s stupid or disrespectful. It’s a way of coping with grief and have gave us a ray of a sunshine in a dark day, made darker by the car accident that killed her daughter and son-in-law only months before. Nana Eggy. Also I seem to remember my cousin Becky wore next to nothing at the funeral and nothing gave a chuff. We’d gone through three funerals in four months and it was the remembering of people and some solid laughs that saw us through.

Not agreeing with you doesn't make me lacking in critical thinking. And insulting my faculties doesn't demonstrate a particularly fantastic intellect of your own.

Surely the importance was the focus on the funeral and not shaming people for their outfits

I went to a classmates funeral at about that age and wore a mini skirt. I only decided I was going as the bus was leaving, I didn't think I could face it until the last minute. I felt awful, and it'd have been worse if people were judging me on a terrible enough day

Oh dear. If you don't know by know what is so offensive about naked thighs at a funeral, you probably never will. Though you actually don't care though, do you, because it's all about 'your rights' rather than the rights of other people not to have to be confronted or embarrassed by your personal freedom. Time and a place and all that.

I wouldn't let my children dress like that for a funeral:

I've also taught my DC not to judge what others wear to church. I'm pretty sure they do judge, but they've learned not to express those thoughts. I'm also pretty sure when my DC have DC they will be dressed appropriately and also be taught not to others in church.

Other people are not us, and God doesn't care what you wear.

Sounds like their parents can't be bothered to support their children. If it was my kids they would get back upstairs to find something else. Some people have no shame.

I really don’t think it matters what they wear. The important thing is they attended in clothes they were comfortable in. I have seen so many grown women get it wrong at funerals too. They think something black and then wear a dress that is really a black party frock. It just. Doesn’t matter.