I'm 33, my boyfriend is 34. We have been together four years, loving together for just over a year now.
He has been grumpy with me and staying up later and later till past 2 am when I go up to bed. This isn't usual of him as he gets up to work at 7 am. He said he's just been more tired than usual.
Yesterday morning as he was in the shower, for the first time I looked at his phone. I know I shouldn't but I did. In his archived messages on WhatsApp there was messages with this woman going back months.
Pure and utter filth that doesn't seem like him at all.
Messages from him include, 'you make me feel so much better than her' 'your tits are so much better than hers' 'you're my slave' 'she's up in bed alone and I'm downstairs with you, I chose that' 'we have such a connection, your voice makes me so hard' 'you're a dirty little whore' 'I want you and only you' 'I want to breed you' 'I want you to carry my child'.
And on and on it goes, pictures in between that, voice notes of them both talking dirty to each other, him masturbating etc. I felt sick to my stomach, he has never spoken to me like that and it feels like a complete stranger.
She was sending back things like, 'I want your girlfriend to watch us fuck knowing she can't do anything about it' 'I want to have your babies' 'I can't get enough of you' 'yes I'm a good for nothing slut' 'I worship your dick' etc.
I feel so sick and haven't spoken to anyone about this. This time last week I was so happy and now everything has changed and I feel when I confront him and tell anyone, then it's real.
I wonder, since he's never spoke this way to me, is this some kink or desire he has that I haven't fulfilled? He has never spoken to me like that, if that's what he's into, why hasn't he?
I'm so distraught. I'm sitting in my car in a Tesco car park and have been finished since 5 pm because I cannot be around him without being sick.
I also didn't get any proof as I was scrolling, he was in the shower and I wouldn't have enough time to screenshot and send to myself then delete. Might try that at some point when I can get his phone again.
Not really sure what I'm looking for, maybe advice on how you would handle this? Should I confront? Should I tell my mum, I'm so embarrassed as she never really likes him and it's like he's proved her right. I never thought he'd do this.
He never wanted children either and he's telling this woman he wants her to carry his child! It's sick