To think this lady was rude

[Reehhahh]

We are at the seaside and I took my DD4 to a little place with pond and ducks, a few animals like rabbits and goats and a cafe so I presumed kid friendly but I felt we were not welcome. My Dd wanted an ice cream so asked for which one she wanted and said please and as the lady was making it she said ‘I want my chocolate ice cream please’ and the lady almost shouted saying ‘I’m making it CHILD’ but not in a jokey way and then she grimaced at us. I asked which way the animals were as it didn’t say and she was very snappy

does realistic expectations mean putting up with rude children? There was no need for the child to pester the woman, yet it did. And the mother was happy with it.

Your daughter was just an excited kid wanting her ice cream and couldn't see properly what was going on. They have no concept of time at that age, the 20 seconds probably felt like an hour to her. I'd just giggle privately at the reaction of the shop woman and carry on. The woman was rude to call her child and could have handled it better.

And the use of the term child set the scene of the woman’s rudeness!

Whst would be said if the child approached the counter and said “woman, may I have a chocolate ice cream” I assume you’d explain to the child that there was no need to use the term “woman”?

If that’s the one where you were whinging because of a lack of apology from your niece fell from her lap? My stance was the same her as it was there, she’s a child!

You miss my point.
It's such an unusual thing to say ("kid" would be more common, if an adult wanted to be abrupt with a child) that it made me wonder if our OP has been completely transparent with what the "child" actually said.

Rubbish!! You don’t address a child as “child” or. “Kid” when speaking to them!

if you do, you’re rude!

I'm not the OP of that thread, but yes it's that one. I won't comment further otherwise this will become a thread about a thread and be zapped.

And the adult was rude to talk to a child like that.

Children aren't second rate human beings, they deserve the same courtesy as the rest of us.
Some people just seem to object to them existing in the same space as them, talking, making any sound at all.
Even happy chatter seems to piss some people off.

The problem is with you, not the children.

Then from your experience and the reviews I wouldn’t go there for ice cream again. As has been said we don’t know how people are, but your DD by the sounds of it was polite and not demanding just unaware and still learning. A grown adult is forever learning and if they don’t get repeat customers then it will help them learn too.

@Reehhahh Clearly you dwell too much on irrelevant throwaway comments from random people and luckily, you have realised that this is unhealthy.

Your DD is at a very impressionable age so I’d urge you to consider working on your self esteem and try to view future interactions positively as a ‘glass half full’ moment.

I’m still annoyed at the silly staff at my son’s pre-school who used to screech whenever they saw a spider or flying insects outdoors. He’s now a young teen and petrified of insects and spiders and won’t go to a beach or eat outside in the garden for fear of these things. I’m planning to take him for some hypnosis shortly to rid him of these irrational fears.

She was a bit rude, but so was your child. Teach her not to say ‘I want…’

Woman snapped at child. Rude and unnecessary, yes, but it happens sometimes.

4 year old child still learning the art of patience. Perfectly normal.

Time to move on I think.

She might have been rude but sometimes it’s justified to be rude. It’s not some moral failing. Who cares? She is working a thankless working class job and deserves some leeway

Well obviously she was rude. Why do you need to ask mumsnet this? 😂

Also y'know being rude isn't the crime of the century. Maybe she is an utter arse or alternatively maybe she was just having a bad day and is cringing about it. Who knows or cares? I probably just wouldn't go back.

She was rude, your kid was rude. Unless you are looking for validation that both were rude you are unreasonable to complain about the lady serving. Perhaps if you had corrected your child she wouldn't have been quite so annoyed.

Oh for goodness sake, she's a small child, children make slight social gaffes occasionally, especially when they are excited. OP corrected her and said to wait patiently.

There was no need for the woman to snap, her job involves serving ice cream, presumably often to children. It doesn't take too much effort to say with a smile 'it's nearly ready darling, I'm just scooping it into the cone for you. There you go - enjoy'.
People are such unutterable misery grumps.

Perhaps if you bothered to read the OPs post you’d have seen she told the child to be patient? Therefore correcting her child.

Ha ha!! Arsehole pre-schoolers - this gave me a laugh. And poor @tillytoodles1 being told to fuck off. 😆😆

Oh gosh, she's only 4. Most children aren't perfect little people by 4.

Some kids learn quicker than others. Some kids are bold, some kids are shy. They are still learning, even us adults aren't perfect all the time, as this post clearly demonstrates.

My own children won't ask for things at all. I'm struggling to get them to do this. No child is perfect. Even the children of the Mumsnet perfect parents on here are not perfect. We don't believe you lol 🤣

Please don't blame a 4 year old, who has been on this planet for just 4 years. The child said please, she probably isn't aware of etiquette and wording and tine yet. Give her a break. She has a lot f way to go.

Could all have just been a big miscommunication.. all she did was say was making it... I mean you said your daughter couldn't see her properly so how do you know she wasn't just calling out to let your child know what she's doing... she might have just said it in a matter of fact way and you've taken it as she's now shouting at your child...
You don't know her and she doesn't know you or your child. It could just be her normal tone of voice and you've blown it up to more than what it was...

Agree with this to

I was only about four when it happened. My dad said he spoke back to the man, but he ignored him and started serving the rest of the queue. Imagine the pearl clutching these days.

I think your DD was rude and got a sharp response back. 🤷🏼‍♀️
She’s only 4 and still learning, so good opportunity to explain to her that she was being demanding and why it made the lady cross.

Teach your daughter to be patient and to say I would like or Please may I have not I WANT please.

Well you're exceptionally rude then aren't you. She's four and she said please. What do you want people to say when ordering things? Don't work with the public if you can't tolerate people.