To think this lady was rude

[Reehhahh]

We are at the seaside and I took my DD4 to a little place with pond and ducks, a few animals like rabbits and goats and a cafe so I presumed kid friendly but I felt we were not welcome. My Dd wanted an ice cream so asked for which one she wanted and said please and as the lady was making it she said ‘I want my chocolate ice cream please’ and the lady almost shouted saying ‘I’m making it CHILD’ but not in a jokey way and then she grimaced at us. I asked which way the animals were as it didn’t say and she was very snappy

The lady was rude but I worked with young children and always corrected any child that started a sentence with ‘I want’ - and asked them to say I would like.Nothing worse than hearing 3/4/5 year olds saying ‘ I want it now!’

im glad your DD said please.😂 shocking the amount of children starting school who have to be taught that word!

I taught my children to say please may I have and my friends cracked up at lunch, saying that we all sounded victorian 🤣 I do think times have changed

Your nephew clearly grinds your gears, this child is not your nephew! Would you treat every 4 year old as rude due to one misdemeanour?

Is your nephew aspiring to be a doctor by any chance?

She was rude and it doesnt really matter if she was having a bad day, when you work in customer service, you have to put that aside, manners are important. If you dont like dealing with kids then dont fcking work in an area where you serve them all the time.

Then people wonder why their businesses fail. Geez.

Yes she was rude, but also: so what. You make life a lot harder for yourself if you stew over every social infraction, not matter how inconsequential.

Why would you scold a kid for replying 'i want' to the question, 'what do you want?' You're literally setting them up to fail 🤦‍♀️ If you start a question with 'what would you like', the reply would normally begin with 'i would like...', because copying is how small kids learn language. Instead of scolding the kid, why not model the language you want them to use? Let not mention that the kid was asked to add please onto the end, so she rested the question correctly. That's not rude on any planet. That's how you teach kids basic manners. No wonder they're lacking if kids get called rude for using them 🤦‍♀️

I think it is sweet. But I do forgive occasional slip ups. My four year old is reminded to say please and thank you. But he stumbles over some words... And unlike my MIL I am not going to get hung up on him saying can instead of may (for example). I have been trying to gently guide him as to when it is appropriate to ask (eg, not asking the same thing over and over... Which seems to be something a lot of his age group do!) But I'd not be impressed at him being rudely shouted at by an adult if he was over enthusiastic trying to buy ice cream in a holiday spot!

@Bunnybeeee exactly.

This. Its absolutely insane that a 4 year old is being admonished for this but a grown adult can apparently be as rude as they like and thats fine. The adult's parents must have been pretty shit at parenting if by adulthood she cant control herself when its literally her JOB

You did nothing wrong. Your child asked nicely in an age-appropriate fashion (including please). It was an ice cream and she asked again, but you corrected - again age appropriate with you gently showing what the polite thing to do was. The woman was just rude. I suspect no one corrected her on her manners.

I am baffled that there are people on this thread holding a 4 year old to substantially higher standards than an adult. Especially an adult working in customer service, in a child-friendly environment.

Amazing! Very out of order but hilarious 😂

Is your daughter Veruca Salt?

Exactly what @Bunnybeeee said. So many of us ask the question "what do you want" and therefore I want .... is perfectly normal answer to that question. If she was saying I want this, I want that over and over then yes, that is when it becomes unpleasant, but she asked once and ended it politely with please. It's actually laughable how many people are claiming the little girl was rude, over what sounds like an awful, very rude woman. I work in a customer facing role, and would never dream of speaking to anyone like that and I've been spoken to a lot worse than a little girl asking for an ice cream.

Yes.

I was taught "I want never gets."

I agree with the above post. Your dd was rude and impatient and a bit Verucca Salt.

Please may I have.

I related ad nauseum.to mine "I want doesn't get". Had one of mine, said what your dd did at 4, I'd have had a quiet word in front of the lady and would have apologised. But I'm the mother who removed a rude and cheeky 4 year old from JL shoe department and made him give the lady a card to apologise the next day.

The woman was already making the ice cream, there was no need for you child to rush her. As for calling your child "child", it's what she is?

Can't believe this is garnering so much support for the ADULT server, absolutely ridiculous. Funnily enough, my worst customers are the adults of the 'not in our day' mentality, so those early integral manners you speak of clearly wear off and make way for entitlement, just as this woman felt entititled to lose her cool and snap back at a child. It is not just a parents job to lead by example and the adult acted like a 4 year old herself, yet is getting excused. The child did nothing wrong for her age. She used manners and probably misjudged the time it takes to scoop an ice cream. That is a learning curve that the OP could and did point out. All of this Verruca Salt talk is rubbish. I actually can't believe what I'm reading. Let's not pretend that the adult isn't in the wrong here. Even if she loathes children, she's in a role where she should remain professional.

@Isthatascratchonmygrandmother It’s been a MN classic in terms of batshitteryness this thread. Hilarious.

Does it matter?

At what age did you master the technique of never slipping up and saying I want? Or were you such a perfect child, you were just told the once and took it onboard?

Oh you’re the most perfect parent ever….. a card you say? I hope you took it from pocket money made by them sweeping the chimney?

Performance parenting at its finest 😂!

Look woman, have a bit more realistic expectation that when you’re an ice cream seller you’re going to get children that slip up sometimes?

Likewise, have a bit more self-awareness as a parent that your child is the centre of your universe, and therefore, to you immeasurably cute when asking for her own ice-cream, counting out the money, paying the lady etc. (as OP has said she did)

A child's total cuteness is only that for their parents. (and we've all done it, and we've all hurt when we discover that for the rest of the world, that child ordering her ice-cream, sorting the money out etc is just another customer)

The one odd thing is the use of the word "child" Bit akin to a rather Charles Dickensesque "what are you doing boy!" Etc.

The child is 4 so I presume OP IS teaching her child how to be patient. How else to do so other than take her out, get into situations as described and learn from it?
You can't sit at home with a book teaching the theory of patience and then expect a 4 yo to emerge as a fully formed, well-mannered person.

This thread is nearly the complete opposite of the one with the 8yo niece.

This one: your child is a mannerless brat
That one: poor lamb is only 8 and can't possibly be expected to apologise.

I think what happens in MN is that if someone is mean in the first response, all the sheep join in with the pile on.