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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this lady was rude

252 replies

Reehhahh · 21/06/2023 16:01

We are at the seaside and I took my DD4 to a little place with pond and ducks, a few animals like rabbits and goats and a cafe so I presumed kid friendly but I felt we were not welcome. My Dd wanted an ice cream so asked for which one she wanted and said please and as the lady was making it she said ‘I want my chocolate ice cream please’ and the lady almost shouted saying ‘I’m making it CHILD’ but not in a jokey way and then she grimaced at us. I asked which way the animals were as it didn’t say and she was very snappy

OP posts:
Avondale89 · 21/06/2023 19:46

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 21/06/2023 19:34

I have an excuse, isn't that what we do these days? Use excuses! ha! So it is rude to say that it is bad manners. Jesus Christ, there is no hope if we can't even dare show children how to behave or model the correct behaviour.

I see the state of children's manners are in these days. It is shocking. I do the job that the parents can't be arsed to do.

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Do you frequent this forum solely to feel morally superior to others?

Maverickess · 21/06/2023 20:01

You could always take to trip advisor, Google and FB to teach her a lesson, trash the business and make a huge deal out of being the victim. Better still if she was wearing a name badge and you can personally identify her and possibly even start a witch hunt for this true evil doer.
And get some compo for the therapy you're going to need for this life changing and traumatic event.

Personally I'd have ignored the impatience of the child and not spoken at all, doubtful that that would have been good enough either though because it's not the grovelling servitude from others people want when they're spending their hard earned cash .

But I just don't get this almost...... Pleasure and glee at being the 'victim' of poor customer service and the overreactions to what are complete non events and turning them into an opportunity to have lots of attention.

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 21/06/2023 20:02

Avondale89 · 21/06/2023 19:46

Do you frequent this forum solely to feel morally superior to others?

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Nope just wish people would teach their kids instead of making excuses for their lack of parenting.

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 21/06/2023 20:32

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 21/06/2023 19:16

The lady was rude but the child was too. Too many excuse kids because 'they're little' which trans lates as either let them get away with anything because I can't be arsed to teach them.

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So how on earth will you teach a 4 year old? They are kids, they should be allowed a bit of linency. The kid did nothing wrong? wanted an icecream and asked for it.

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 21/06/2023 20:44

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 21/06/2023 20:32

So how on earth will you teach a 4 year old? They are kids, they should be allowed a bit of linency. The kid did nothing wrong? wanted an icecream and asked for it.

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How do you teach a child? In the same way you teach any child any skill. Communication skills in the UK are shocking for kids. How is it done? Show it. Use the words you want them to use yourself. Correct them, praise them and have expectations instead of expecting the world to do a head tilt and go awww they're only little.

Original poster
Reehhahh · 21/06/2023 20:55

@GCalltheway I said further up my DD wasn’t saying it in a demanding way she didn’t shout and wasn’t cross, she was just excited I think and said it nicely but I did correct her and tell her we have to wait patiently

OP posts:
Isthatascratchonmygrandmother · 21/06/2023 20:57

I have an ice cream van and I wouldn't dare talk to a child that way. For all I know the child could have ND and poor social skills beyond their control. Besides that, this is a 4 year old child. How an adult can have such contempt for that I have no idea. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest, I've heard worse and she could have handled it with tact. Don't like serving children, don't have work in a fucking industry where your main customer base is children!

AntiSocial6DaysAWeek · 21/06/2023 21:03

Avondale89 · 21/06/2023 19:46

Do you frequent this forum solely to feel morally superior to others?

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Not only that, the little 4 year old WAS corrected by her mother.

No one corrected the adult who, going by people like the poster you quoted, had bad parents who didn't teach them how to have good manners (@WeeWillyWinkie9).

I've seen a lot of rubbish on MN but some of the replies here make me want to laugh they are so ridiculous!

Adult - right to be rude

4 year old - a disgrace with bad parents

Isthatascratchonmygrandmother · 21/06/2023 21:05

Could be* ND I meant to say.

GCalltheway · 21/06/2023 21:05

Reehhahh · 21/06/2023 20:55

@GCalltheway I said further up my DD wasn’t saying it in a demanding way she didn’t shout and wasn’t cross, she was just excited I think and said it nicely but I did correct her and tell her we have to wait patiently

Well if you actually said we need to wait the woman was unreasonable. Clearly that said we have never accepted the word ‘want’ it screams entitlement and emperor mentality

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 21/06/2023 21:08

@WeeWillyWinkie9 how do you teach an adult in a customer facing rule to not be a dick?

Sapphire387 · 21/06/2023 21:13

Reehhahh · 21/06/2023 16:37

@Isthisexpected yes it was my Dd

She is very chatty and loves to speak to people when we are out and about. She didn’t ask it in a ‘demanding’ kind of way, she was just excited I think and enjoyed making the order and handing over the money, I did correct her

I do over think things and dwell on interactions , always have

I think this is possibly the issue. You see her as 'chatty' because she is your daughter and you love her. Are you sure you're not allowing her to bug other people?

This is a non-event. If one of mine had nagged an ice cream lady when they were 4, I would have told them to be patient because it was being made. But they didn't used to do that - if anything, they would ask me when it would be ready. You have said you explained to your daughter. I don't think the server was horrendously rude, maybe slightly 'off'. Does it really matter?

Ginola2345 · 21/06/2023 21:32

WhenIWasAFieldMyself · 21/06/2023 16:10

She was rude, but so was the child. "I want" won't get.

This the woman was rude but then so was your daughter. If you think your daughters behaviour was ok then you and your daughter probably wound the woman up.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 21/06/2023 21:52

JoJoBoZoe · 21/06/2023 16:54

Berlinlover
My mother would have scolded me if I spoke to an adult like that.

Agree. I would have never been allowed to speak to an adult like that, 'please' does not make it better

@GeorgeMichaelsCat reminds me of The Inbetweeners when Will tells Neil's Dad to " piss off please " 😂

Never watched it but I think it is the gist of what I was getting at Grin

FluffyFlannery · 22/06/2023 00:24

GCalltheway · 21/06/2023 18:42

Don’t be ridiculous 😂
The child was rude, but she is 4 so she doesn’t know any better, it is the parent’s job to show children how to be polite.

Hardly rocket science.

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You really are not all there.

MrsRaspberry · 22/06/2023 06:31

She was rude and could've been nicer also to be fair your child was impatient. Yes your child may be 4 but should learn to be patient, she could see the lady was still making up her ice cream.

bussteward · 22/06/2023 06:37

GCalltheway · 21/06/2023 21:05

Well if you actually said we need to wait the woman was unreasonable. Clearly that said we have never accepted the word ‘want’ it screams entitlement and emperor mentality

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Entitlement and emperor mentality!! Fucking hell, are people OK? It’s a four year old wanting a chocolate ice cream. At four, it’s perfectly normal to still mix up words – my daughter can’t get yesterday/tomorrow straight, and says she for her; “I want my chocolate ice cream please” is fine wording for a four year old – yes, the fact she was chasing for it is impatient and a touch rude – like a 0.025 on a scale out of 10, 10 being “creating an empire through conquering and imperialism” – but OP gently corrected that, as is appropriate.

BlinkeredBay · 22/06/2023 06:39

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 21/06/2023 20:44

How do you teach a child? In the same way you teach any child any skill. Communication skills in the UK are shocking for kids. How is it done? Show it. Use the words you want them to use yourself. Correct them, praise them and have expectations instead of expecting the world to do a head tilt and go awww they're only little.

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So how would you correct the rude snappy adult? Or should we be expected to head tilt and say aww you having a bad day?

SoccerStars · 22/06/2023 06:47

Maddy70 · 21/06/2023 16:08

She was rude. But noone knows what's going on in everyone's lives. Maybe she's holding on my a thread

this. Seems to be rude. I’d never speak to a 4 year old I didn’t know like that but she might have a lot going on and is on edge. I’ve worked in customer service and I’d have laughed it off as I am just not the type to snap at kids. You probably didn’t get the chance to jump in and say anything after your daughter said that but ideally an adult with a child who rushes someone in a shop should say something like. “ now you can see the nice lady is making your ice cream order . She’ll give it to us when it’s ready ” so as to gently teach the child patience and better social skills. She’s only little though so it’s understandable!

SoccerStars · 22/06/2023 06:51

Reehhahh · 21/06/2023 20:55

@GCalltheway I said further up my DD wasn’t saying it in a demanding way she didn’t shout and wasn’t cross, she was just excited I think and said it nicely but I did correct her and tell her we have to wait patiently

Ok my mistake - I missed this reply. You already did correct your child. The woman was unnecessarily rude for sure then.

Butchyrestingface · 22/06/2023 06:55

and the lady almost shouted saying ‘I’m making it CHILD’

😅

She was probably having a bad day.

londonrach · 22/06/2023 06:55

Yes she was so was your DD saying want but it's a hot day and a what 5 min interactive in the day...let it go

bluebirdsongs · 22/06/2023 07:08

Your child was rude first!

I have a nephew that when I look after him he constantly asks for the food I am making him.

Where is my pasta (when I am clearly putting it on a plate)

Where is my pizza (when I am cutting it)

It is so annoying and rude and his parents should teach him some patients and manners and I am not the only person who has said this!

ladydimitrescu · 22/06/2023 07:10

Berlinlover · 21/06/2023 16:12

I work with the public and if a child said “I want” I would blank them.

Then you shouldn't be working with the public - she's 4 ffs

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 22/06/2023 07:17

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 21/06/2023 21:08

@WeeWillyWinkie9 how do you teach an adult in a customer facing rule to not be a dick?

Thats called managing. Does your manager not manage?