To think this lady was rude

[Reehhahh]

We are at the seaside and I took my DD4 to a little place with pond and ducks, a few animals like rabbits and goats and a cafe so I presumed kid friendly but I felt we were not welcome. My Dd wanted an ice cream so asked for which one she wanted and said please and as the lady was making it she said ‘I want my chocolate ice cream please’ and the lady almost shouted saying ‘I’m making it CHILD’ but not in a jokey way and then she grimaced at us. I asked which way the animals were as it didn’t say and she was very snappy

She said please. She's 4 ffs, what's the adults excuse?

"I want my chocolate ice cream please" is pretty rude, even with a please.

I wouldn't expect a 4 year old to understand that but I would expect the parent to know that and say something eg "I know you are excited for your ice cream but that's not a very polite thing to say. The lady is working hard to make it for you as quickly as possible, you need to be patient and wait."

So maybe the lady was snappy because she was annoyed with you.

Oops... I see you did correct your DD.

It sounds like a demand

Your child was rude to talk to an adult like that. I can see why the woman was annoyed.

Also the MY element - it gives the impression of entitlement.

Would I snap back at a little kid? No, but I wouldn’t be best impressed with the parenting.

No most of us were taught the correct way to ask as kids as I want is bad manners and would result in no ice cream in my house....please may I, is the correct way to ask.

She's probably having a shit day, or maybe just a rude person but a bit harsh to say to a 4 year old. It didn't seem particularly demanding to me.. if I was her and found it annoying I would just not say anything back.

Although when i was in my 20s I worked in a supermarket where bratty kids would annoy the heck out of me. If they where whining and demanding their kinder egg, I'd deliberately scan it last 🤣

@WeeWillyWinkie9 the kid is 4 ffs. What about the rude lady ?

Child was 4... And did say please. She was an adult and should know better.

Children try hard to be polite... But often don't really get it. Because they are children.

Were you actually brought up in the 1800s?

The lady was rude but the child was too. Too many excuse kids because 'they're little' which trans lates as either let them get away with anything because I can't be arsed to teach them.

My reception children would be corrected if they used the word 'I want' in this kind of situation. They would be told a more polite way of asking. How else are they supposed to learn?

No just brought up to have manners, something that is very much lacking these days.

At 4 it’s okay to offer guidance gently. I started as soon as they could speak. Why would you disadvantage your child for life by not doing so? 🤷🏼‍♀️

No. Just not as forward, and I would not have wanted her to be.
She was shy-ish at four. But she was liked by anyone she met.

I feel sorry for the assistant who has to dance the tune of small children (and I feel the same about Subway with the dithering and individualisation....).

I'm not sure you're demonstrating them here though. Surely the lady behind the counter should have also demonstrated the appropriate manners too? Or do you only like to criticise small children?

I don't think OP was saying there should not be guidance. She was saying the lady's reaction was excessive and rude given the interaction was with a child who was trying. Not perfect, but trying. At 4 many know they should say please (which she did) but not that asking more than once is rude.

Also, if we want children to be more polite as adults we should model that. I think it is more inappropriate when an adult is rude or snaps at a child, instead of offering gentle guidance, than a child trying and getting it wrong.

She’s 4 FFS.

It’s the servers job to be able to handle customers of all ages, educational levels, abilities, sexes, backgrounds, etc. If she can’t cope with a simple request from a child with a limited vocabulary she is in the wrong job.

Anyone who is cruel to a little child, your daughter certainly didn’t deserve such boorish rudeness and a weird hostile grimace, is creepy in my book.

I would have told my child to be patient and that pestering someone is annoying when they are already trying to fulfil your request.

This reminds me of the time when, around this age, one of my now-adult DC had ordered their own ice cream. They politely thanked the server, who didn't respond, so DC announced loudly, "you're supposed to say, you're welcome"!! Luckily the lady laughed...

I have an excuse, isn't that what we do these days? Use excuses! ha! So it is rude to say that it is bad manners. Jesus Christ, there is no hope if we can't even dare show children how to behave or model the correct behaviour.

I see the state of children's manners are in these days. It is shocking. I do the job that the parents can't be arsed to do.

Cruelty like this reminds me of something that happened to my mom. She lost her mother when she was five. It was sudden, her mother was not feeling well one evening, then she was gone the next morning. Anyway, my mother rode to the funeral with older teenage girls. One had a pretty purse and my mom at 5 was sitting beside her and reached out and touched it without thinking. The older girl harshly told her, don’t touch that! My gentle mom is 89 and has never forgotten how sweet her own mother was and also the cruelty of that teenage girl toward a little girl who had just lost her mother. She told us about it to make sure we kids never cruel to others, you never know what they’re going through, well in her case the older girl did know.

Op, that awful woman was unfortunately a lesson in cruelty for your young sweet daughter.