To think that secondary school uniform rules are ridiculous?

[TrulyFlumptious]

Just for transparency, my DC are nursery and primary school age, so I currently have no skin in this game.

When I was in school (I’m in my late 30s, for reference) primary and secondary uniforms were very similar. Shirt and tie, branded cardi/jumper, plain black shoes and black or grey skirt/trousers. This was the standard from reception up to year 11.

Over the years, primary uniforms have gotten a bit more casual. Branded polo tops in place of shirts and ties seem to be the standard now. I have 3 primary schools near me and I can’t remember the last time I saw a small child in a shirt and tie.

However secondaries, even the local community schools, now seem to be channelling private school style uniforms as standard. My old school now insists on blazers, school issue tights, and uniform skirts in a school-particular check pattern. This seems to be standard process across most senior schools now. You also barely go a week without seeing a story about a child getting into trouble for not wearing the uniform tights, being put in a weeks isolation for forgetting their jumper, or children being forced to keep their blazers on in heatwaves whilst their teachers are in short sleeves or summer dresses.

AIBU to think this is completely ridiculous and getting out of hand? The argument of “this is preparing them for work” is totally arbitrary now - the world has changed, especially since covid, and barely anyone wears a shirt, tie or blazer to work any more. Most office workers are in smart casual and can adapt their dress for their own comfort levels, and even in the jobs that do require uniform it usually consists of branded polos/tees, or a tunic. What exactly are these students being “prepared” for? Yes, there should be some uniform rules in place to ensure students are not inappropriately dressed, but as far as I can see, these ridiculously over-complicated uniforms are out of touch, out of date, and do not fit in with modern society. I feel they are used simply as a means of control.

And don’t even get me started on the cost.

What do you think?

YANBU – senior school uniforms are ridiculously over-complicated, out of touch, and need to go back to basics
YABU – school uniforms are as strict and complicated as they should be.

@Stellium interesting, the first thing mine did when they got home from school was get into civvies.

I always changed out of my school uniform as soon as I arrived home also, and then my work uniform in later years.

I never did. Never crossed my mind. But then I've never understood the desire to remove my bra as soon as I get home either that is apparently very common.

Fair enough, you do you! However your original argument was that you buy less normal clothes because the majority of the time your children wear school uniform. Now it seems you buy less normal clothes because they spend half their non-school days in pyjamas

I've never understood the bra thing either, but would far rather relax in my trackpants than a skirt, blouse, and tights - and I'm also a messy eater!!

However your original argument was that you buy less normal clothes because the majority of the time your children wear school uniform. Now it seems you buy less normal clothes because they spend half their non-school days in pyjamas

The majority of the time they do wear school uniform. The holidays don't really change that, they are a small proportion of the year.

@Stellium a small proportion of the year? Oh come on!

There are 13 weeks of school holidays in a given year. That's 25% if the total. Then out of the remaining 39 weeks, 2 out of each 7 days are weekends. So that makes a total of 169 non school days in a 365 day year vs 195 school days. Hardly 'a small proportion' where non uniform clothes would be worn. Unless you're keeping your kids in school uniform on weekends, you need a significant number of non uniform clothes no matter what.

I think it's more about if you have a small wardrobe or come from a poor family where you don't have a huge wardrobe rotation, it's not obvious if you wear school uniform. It becomes obvious who has less clothes or poor quality clothes or whatever the issue is without uniform. I remember going to school and thinking ah, no need to worry, just put on uniform. If I didn't have uniform, I'd have been thinking about what I wanted to wear, have I worn these jeans too many times in one week? I don't have a top to match this skirt. It's all well and good saying just pick the first thing you see, but some kids/teens especially start to care about appearances and what they wear.

Unless you're keeping your kids in school uniform on weekends, you need a significant number of non uniform clothes no matter what.

You could get away with having only 2/3 outfits for the weekends though, couldn't you? They wear it out on Saturday, you wash it for next saturday, or they wear a different one next weekend while you wash the other. I don't think weekends themselves necessarily mean you need loads of clothes. There's 5 days in between them where you could wash what was worn at the weekend. And if course, people can wear an item of clothing more than once, so if you wore a top on Saturday and it's not in need of a wash, save it for next weekend to wear again.

Personally I found that when my DDs started college they needed more clothes (especially non summer ones), and not because either of them were all that interested in fashion.
That leads me to think that all the years they were at school they needed fewer clothes due to school uniform.

That's interesting @TeenDivided because we found the opposite. We didn't find we had to do a lot more laundry either compared to the uniform days, in fact we did less.

In terms of teens worrying about whether they've worn their clothes too often - that's about two things: as parents you teach them self esteem, the value of money and the relative unimportance of things and fashion, and as schools you come down hard on bullying, whether about clothes/money/anything else. It isn't rocket science.

You can teach kids things all you want, doesn't mean they will think or feel the same way about things as you. Do you hold all the same values and ideas as your parents? You can raise them to think fashion doesn't matter and brands don't matter and maybe they will follow in your footsteps, but it's not a given is it? The could well care. It's like raising them to know about how bad drugs are or smoking or drinking excessively - does that mean they won't do it? Maybe, also they might do.

Kids can be raised atheist and still turn out religious, or the other way around! So it shouldn't be a suprise that a child/teen cares about something their parent does not.

I'd also say you don't need to be bullied to want what others have. Maybe there is no bullying, but your teen still feels jealous that they don't have X brand or that they don't look X way or whatever it is. I just like that's it's slightly more level playing field.

How old are your children? My youngest is still at primary and more likely to play out after school and during the holidays than the eldest 3. But that's not a hard and fast rule

How old are your children? My youngest is still at primary and more likely to play out after school and during the holidays than the eldest 3. But that's not a hard and fast rule

1. Doesn't play out after school unless we go to the park on the way home so they would still be in uniform. London, flat with no garden, can't really go and play on the streets. May be different if lived elsewhere admittedly. I didn't say she didn't go out to play in the holidays, just that I'd say it's s pretty even split between indoors/outdoors, she enjoys indoor activities.

I've never understood the bra thing either. And I've never understood the need to change out of something that you've worn all day just for a few hours before going to bed. Some people seem to make a big deal out of uniform being uncomfortable, but I guess that depends on what's being worn and what you're doing? So for me and my sisters, wearing a skirt/shirt/tie/jumper at school wasn't all of a sudden more uncomfortable because we'd arrived home, particularly since all we were doing a lot of the time was either watching telly, doing homework or just lounging around. And even if we did hang around after school with friends somewhere, they would all still be in uniform too so it wasn't seen as an issue.
My daughters are the same; keep everything on apart from maybe the blazer and definitely shoes if they're in the house, but apart from that there never seems to be a comfort issue.

Oh yes I can concur with that; all of mine have enjoyed doing indoor things too, Lego, painting, usual stuff. What does your daughter have to wear, our primary school is traditional shirt/tie, etc

If they're brand obsessed and you can't afford brands - tough shit, unless they're old enough for a part time job. If they want stuff others have - again, tough shit. I'm not one to bleat about young people today not being resilient, but there are limits. So you teach them, and if they still turn out to be brand obsessed fashion victims then too bad, so sad. Uniform doesn't solve any of that because when they grow up and have to cope in the real world, they won't be ready. Disappointment is part of life.

@ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming in that case I must be very lazy, because even when I've had blouse/skirt/tights uniform I've never been bothered to change!

Some people seem to make a big deal out of uniform being uncomfortable, but I guess that depends on what's being worn and what you're doing? So for me and my sisters, wearing a skirt/shirt/tie/jumper at school wasn't all of a sudden more uncomfortable because we'd arrived home, particularly since all we were doing a lot of the time was either watching telly, doing homework or just lounging around. And even if we did hang around after school with friends somewhere, they would all still be in uniform too so it wasn't seen as an issue.
Yep, totally the same. Uniform wasn't uncomfortable at school or at home. People talk on here about not being able to relax in jeans either and changing when they get home. I don't get it. None of my clothes are uncomfortable. Sitting on the sofa in jeans is the same as sitting on the sofa in school uniform or in joggers.

I never changed either much to the despair of my mum, who was always telling me to do so in order to keep my uniform looking its best. Plus she always thought it looked scruffy when I just loosened my tie and opened the top button or untucked my shirt, especially if we were out somewhere after school like the supermarket or going to the dentist. Like the dentist could give a shit whether my tie was done up or not! I think she was concerned that we might be spotted by a teacher and she would be held up as a bad mother.😂

The problem with school uniform and comfort is that it is often dictated by single suppliers and needs to be covered in logos. DC1 had to spend Yr 5 and 6 always wearing a vest under their school polo because it was 100% polyester - very bad for severe eczema, but no medical exemptions permitted. Schools have become so rigid with uniform (probably because of parental/OFSTED pressures and the usual delusions about its effects) that there is no space for any kind of sensible adaptations. Then there are the schools that demand tights and blazers in high summer. It's absolutely bananas. I would have far less of an issue with uniform if it were 100% available on the high street, with sew on/iron on logos supplied and expensive single suppliers completely banned, and with sensible adaptations allowed for medical conditions and SEN. But that isn't where we are. We're nowhere near.

And I'd still think uniform was stupid, given how many countries produce functional young adults without it.

Oh yeah the horrid polyester uniforms. It was alright in my first secondary school as that had shirts which I could get in cotton rather than polyester but then I moved to a school that had polo shirts instead and they were polyester and unpleasant. I wore a t-shirt underneath.

@pointythings yeah I can see how that would be an issue. Thankfully not been the case for either myself or my children.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this but I've always encouraged mine to stay in uniform after school because I regard it as creating less washing, since on they have a tendency to wear other clothes once and then put in the laundry. To an extent I've also thought that it helps them to stay focussed for completing homework, since that's the usual routine once home (snack, homework, relaxation time).

Mine went through a stage of 'wear things once then put in laundry basket'. I put paid to it sharpish.