To not let my mums friend visit while potty training

[raisinglittleones]

We have decided to start potty training our 2020 baby this weekend - I’ve had it blocked out in the diary for weeks so we are all home and able to focus on the task at hand. We also have a 2021 baby so definitely need all hands on deck!

My mum has now sprung on me that a friend of hers (who is the dad of someone I used to go to school with as a child but haven’t seen in maybe 10 or more years) is staying with her this weekend and he would love to see me and the kids. I said that because of the potty training I wasn’t comfortable with having someone who is essentially a stranger (especially to my son) in the house while we are going through this big change, as I want my son to feel at ease and relaxed and not be overwhelmed.

She’s taken it personally and has said that I shouldn’t call him a stranger when he’s such a big part of our past and that his wife passed away recently so I should show some compassion.

AIBU? Am I overreacting? I've never potty trained before so have no idea what to expect - would it be fine if this guy pops round for an hour or so?

Some of the responses on her are bonkers. It isn't a "random" bloke it is her mother's friend, friendly enough that he's staying with her. She would like him to meet her granddaughter and her daughter who he obviously remembers from her childhood. Why are people so suspicious all the time? I'm sure he'll be pleasant and respectful come over with your mum for a quick chat and leave and I've no doubt he'll get a boost from that short visit. Toilet training can be done in a few days or weeks a short visit from your mum and her friend will not have a negative impact whatsoever. I took time and space to train my first and it took ages my other two were dragged around on school runs, activities etc and were done and dusted in a day or two. Don't overthink this YABU.

Same! I could never do it in Winter! 😅

I'm saying this gently, but there's really no need to say this person can't come OP.

Good luck with the potty training!

Sounds like it wasn’t a massive deal for you, just as it wasn’t for us - mainly because I didn’t use a method dictated to me by a book

This is the sneeriness I’m talking about. You aren’t better because you didn’t read a book. You’d have got your method from somewhere- none of us are born innately knowing how to toilet train children, you included. And I didn’t read a book either / I got my advice from my MIL and how she trained her 3 kids successfully. I don’t go around looking for medals though and patting myself on the back.

I think what you've said makes sense because little one won't have any bottoms on. I did it differently so for me wouldn't have been an issue. I did take time off work to give it a go because consistency is key and it was easier to achieve when I was at home. You are allowed to enforce your own boundaries. Maybe pop in and see him on your own or go in the afternoon one day and start training afterwards (realise that will only work if he's there at the beginning of the week).

The hard time you're getting is unnecessary, you've clarified which method you are using and why you would feel uncomfortable.

Gosh some people must be very easily shocked if the concept of using annual leave to help a child baffles them.

Honestly some of you lot need to learn that it’s ok not to martyr yourself, to get help and do what’s best for you and make things as difficult as possible. If that means getting childcare or read a book it’s fine - just because other people (weirdos) think their choices are only valid when they make life really hard for themselves, doesn’t mean you should follow suit.

Careful this post will cause some posters to reach for the smelling salts.

FWIW I did the same. Much easier to get it over and done in 3 days, I couldn’t be bothered to strong the arse out of it

Calm. Down.

Potty training is weirdly competitive...

I agree.
OP it’s your home and your children. Your mother doesn’t have a right to invite anyone to your home, let alone someone who’s virtually a stranger to you and the children have never met at all. And if you say no to her bringing that person along, she doesn’t have a right to be annoyed or try to make you feel guilty.

I didn’t realise it was until this post 🤣 you only ‘win’ of you made it REALLY hard for yourself. Although a special mention goes to the ‘my kids potty trained themselves I barely even noticed’ crowd 😂

Is your "2020 baby" your PFB?

Yabu

uhh yes. I don’t get what the big deal is? Your son will go about as normal until he needs a pee. Mine were all potty trained in a week and we carried on with life like normal so I don’t see any issues here.

Well I agree with you as mine potty trained with no pants on for at least the first day and I wouldn’t want some random (which this man is really) in the house for that.

The way you write is really painful though. 2020 baby, 2021 baby, blocked out the diary. I think that’s why you’re getting a hard time. You sound very precious!

I'm with you OP. My 3 year old DS has recently potty trained and I wouldn't want a random man around with my son running around naked.

Why are people being dicks because the OP used certain language? And you call HER precious. I could never imagine being tirggered because someone said ‘2020 baby’

well.. when the child says he's not a baby and doesn't want nappies and start using the potty.. I could pretend it's down to my amazing parenting skills and hard work if it makes people feel better 😂

I had one very miffed child who I put in pull-up for flying on holiday just in case, but even that was unnecessary. When they are ready, they are ready.

I have seen too many very little kids having accidents in soft plays and at parties, and the parents blaming "the excitement" when the child was obviously just not ready. What's the point of that?

better than the ones who insist on giving the age in MONTHS 😂

Seriously? Is Christine a weirdo? What a horrible way to look at the world. Some people genuinely like children, they’re not coming to gawp. Maybe they’re just interested in catching up with someone they used to know as a child. Suddenly this is a weird? Lovely.

Mine too - straight to knickers, no potty or accidents, dry at night at the same time.

Given the ages you’d be best to do the 2 at the same time. 3 is quite old for potty training

Potty training is simply taking away nappies.

Putting in pants.

Wee and poo on toilet.

Job done.

If you make such a fuss about your ds being relaxed and needing x y and z he'll pick up on your anxiety and it'll become a bigger deal to him because of your behaviour.

He's either 3 or nearly 3. It's not like your trying to do it when he's very young and unlikely to understand the concept 🤷‍♀️

Yes I do think it’s weird to go and want to meet random children you don’t even know just because you met their parent once.

It's really about what you are comfortable with