“Accidental” pregnancy. Has it ever worked out?

[Definitelynotagoodidea]

Had a fallout with one of my closest friends who let it slip after a couple of drinks that she’d stopped taking the pill without informing her partner of 6 years. Her reasons are that they’ve discussed having kids and he definitely wants them but he just wants them to be in a perfect financial/home situation before trying. She thinks he will be fine with an accidental pregnancy but won’t discuss it upfront with him as she knows he will tell her “not right now”.
She’s in her early 30’s and he’s 10 years older and my view is that he actually doesn’t want kids at all which is why he’s employed numerous delaying tactics over the last couple of years so this has disaster written all over it. However, apparently I am wrong and loads of people do it and have happy outcomes.

YABU - yes, loads of women do this and it all works out.
YANBU - terrible idea. Friend is deluded and will likely all end in tears.

I’ve seen it a lot with women who have a child with an ex and desperately want a baby with their new partner sooner rather than later, so that the age gap isn’t big between the two children and they can get away with it looking like both children belong to the current partner.

If as in this case your wife has told you that she wants kids and that you as a man haven’t said “ absolutely not” , then yes. It wouldn’t hurt.

She wants kids and he’s given her the impression it will happen one day. What actually is he expecting? That she turns 45 before she works out he doesn’t want them? Why does his needs top hers, when in reality he can leave before during or after she gets pregnant.

Oh you know I’m just in that kind of relatuonaship where we have honesty and trust, it’s worked for us for 38 years, so I’ll stick at it.

If she’s decided not to take contraception, that’s been agreed, then she should just mention it at the breakfast table, instead of working out her ovulation time and instigating sex.

She will be the single mother on her soon, all not her fault, because she shouldn’t be expected to say she’s changed her mind.

How do people actually have respect for each other, when they are so deceitful.

Thank god it’s the vast majority that think this type of behaviour is wrong!

I'd tell her to tell him or you will.
No you keep your beak out of other people's business and their relationships. It's not your place to get involved.

To be 100% clear, maybe my posts weren’t clear or maybe the reading comprehension in this country is worse than I thought, I have never and would never advocate for a woman to lie to her partner about her contraceptive status, I don’t believe any child should be brought into the world by a lie and dishonesty.
My partner knows I have an implant, when I get a new one I’ll tell him, we don’t want babies.
This woman does want a baby, she’s with the person she would like to have a baby with (wrong man in my opinion but who cares bout that)
Hes not ready whatever that means even though he’s early 40s, all I’m saying is he should be in charge of contraception.
So condoms or back out, but it should be up to him not her.

I think it's this bit which is making it sound manipulative
if there is going to be an accident make it his fault rather than by lying
If you said, which will make it his responsibility rather than fault that would be better.
It's the wording which makes it sound not pleasant and manipulative. Not someone's reading comprehension.
Though I can't diaagree with you on that point🙈

Well I’ve had no response to casual texts since the fateful night so I guess I’ll wait to hear pregnancy news now. It’s been very interesting reading all the responses here though. I hate to say that maybe it’s deserved for leading her on (if that’s what he is doing) but it’ll be the kid that suffers.