Should I report my work colleague to HR?

[donniedarko89]

New colleague in my team, more senior than me, we both report to the same manager. He's been very defensive of his time, deflecting some meetings, camera turned off etc. This morning he said his kid (2yo) was at home and he would have to drop out of our Teams meeting at times, as his partner also had work calls. I asked if the kid was sick, he said no he's fine - he just stays at home. I said juggling work & childcare gives me lockdown flashbacks, to which he replied: "well obviously you don't enjoy spending time with your kid".

Now, I have two big issues with the above:

1. Why is my whole salary going into childcare, and this person who gets paid more than me thinks it's OK to have a full-time job without using childcare?
2. How dare he judge my parenting in such a petty, horrible way?

I screenshotted his horrible comment but not sure whether I should report this. I don't want to sound too petty or like a tattle-tale, but I have rarely been so floored by a similar comment made in a work context. My boss doesn't like meddling into our arguments, but this must be surely worth his attention? What would you do?

He might still be performing at twice the value of OP and bringing the company more money/ customers than others (even with his kid running around).
If there’s an issue with performance it’s fir the employer to pick up not for a junior colleague.

Honestly, all the other issues at work are probably a direct result of him having the kid at home. Go and SPEAK to HR and let them know he was so aggressive and also tell them how much he’s missing.

We should all have a duty of care to neglected children through. Their needs and development can't be met by parents working from home whilst looking after them.

If you are concerned about his performance, report him.

If you are not, don't.

(I have a 2 year old, no way in hell could I get any work done with him there).

I agree with this. How he manages his childcare is his busines - when it impacts on him doing his job it is his colleagues business. Ducking in and out of meetings to provide childcare is unacceptable and wastes peopels time. Where I work it is very clearly against policy, to the extent that a Director was dismissed for this - not for breaking the policy alone, but for the fact also that she was responsible for enforcing it.

And @WandaWonder "When women are wfh and have to look after children at the same time that is accepted on here, why is a man doing it different?"

I agree that it should be the same for both - NOBODY should be looking after children at the same time as working. It means you are not giving your whole time to work, you are disrupting colleagues, and you are potentially putting your child at risk. If you wouldn't be allowed to tuck the child under your desk in the office, why do people get the idea that they are allowed to when working from home?

His comment is rude , I wouldn’t report . I’d make a note of it for sure.

Same as others, keep a record but wait. These things can backfire quickly onto the person who is raising the issue.

Big jump to say the child's neglected.

You have absolutely no idea what goes on in that house.

Honestly some people and their big noses 👃

How do you know work don’t know about the arrangement? If he’s told you all doesn’t sound like a secret.

the comment just sounds jokey

also you said your boss doesn’t like getting into your arguments. Do you argue a lot with colleagues as that seems a bit unusual to say the least?!

This.

Of course it’s not acceptable for anyone to wfh whilst trying to care for small dc. I’m unsure what threads you’ve been reading but the ones that I’ve read have quite rightly discussed the unprofessionalism of even attempting to do both.

Maybe his partner usually does the childcare for whenever it was but had an exceptional meeting. It happens and my work wouldn’t have a problem with it on occasion.

I was going to say the only thing you should care about is his performance but he’s more senior to you so you don’t even need to worry about that!

So now there is a neglected child in this scenario?
wow - not only does the colleague need to be reported to HR, but also to social services. What next the police?
Jesus wept.

If it was my team it’s the OP that would end up on my radar, not the colleague. So be careful before running to HR for no reason.

Most companies have a policy that you should not be looking after a child and doing work at the same time. This is why we pay for childcare, or we quit work/go part time.

If his wife is looking after the child, there shouldn’t be many reasons for him to need to drop off calls either.

What do you hope to achieve by doing this? It is a bit petty and you are going to carry on having to work with him after you have complained. Making an enemy when you don’t have to seems completely pointless to me.

Kid should be in childcare. WFH is not a handy way to save on childcare fees with a toddler.

Sorry posted too early.

If the child is ill or there are emergency childcare issues, he should be taking parental leave.

I wouldn’t report him straight away, but yes keep a log of any instances where your work is being impacted by his behaviour so you have evidence if you then do need to report him. Maybe you could also generally have a chat with your manager for advice during your next 121?

I also do agree with a PP though - i rarely have my camera on so I wouldn’t look into that too much.

We were told we could not WFH with a young child unless another non-working adult was there too. Things were a bit different with lockdown, and there are exceptions for when a kid is sick... But I that was standard practice?

Also, your lockdown comment was clearly a dig at him and so he come back with a dig at you.

Thought... Autocorrect is not my friend today!

Sounds like my former colleague!! Does his name begin with M?!

what the policy at your work

if hes allowd to do it then the rest of you can if not report him

I wouldn’t report. If his work suffers and he keeps missing meetings, he will soon get found out. Don’t lie about it if anyone asks you - but don’t actively report it either.
Alternatively, if he gets away with then you do the same!

When you're working at home you're working. Its the same as being in an office. If you wouldn't bring your child into the office every day, they shouldn't be at home.

Obviously there can be a more pragmatic approach for sickness etc. But someone is not working at capacity if they're also juggling childcare.

I'd raise it with your manager and HR. Male or female it's not acceptable. It's also not fair on the child. On the odd occasion i've had to juggle work and a toddler i've not got much done and they've not had as much attention as they need. If you're worried about raising it as a complaint perhaps go down the query line. As you day you spend a fortune on childcare. Raise that you're aware of at least 1 colleuege who is working while csring for their child at the same time, is the company okay with this as it would save you a fortune in childcare if so. See what they say.

Keep your nose out of it. You sound like a stirrer. If you complain he can just say to HR ‘she miss understood, I don’t look after my child when I’m working. My wife was at home with my daughter that day, but she was on a short phone call.’