To think people in the UK are very lax generally about children being left alone?

[Toxicityofourcity]

Not from the UK. Some of the threads on here baffle me when it comes to leaving children alone. Children as young as 10 and 11 getting themselves home from the school, bus etc and letting themselves into an empty house. Being left for a few hours on their own. Have just read a thread about a 16yr old being left for 4 days... because she has to mind some cats?!? WTF? I just don't understand. This is not something that's done in my country at all. Is it a cultural thing? Do people not worry about house fires, accidents, abductions etc.? I just really don't understand it. But here on MN it seems totally acceptable?

So at what point do they learn to use public transport?

What age do they get to be home alone for half an hour, then an hour, then a few hours etc?

Building independence should be exactly that - building it. If they can’t get the bus to school at 12 or be home alone for a few days at 16 then when can they do those those?

Because launching 18 year olds into university or the work place with zero experience of navigating bits of life alone is failing them.

Im in Scandinavia. Kids where i live are generally more independent than in the uk. It is for example not uncommon for kids from rural areal to live alone in rented accomodation when attending upoer secondary school because of the travel distance. So thats from age 15/16.

After school care is available for years 1-4. After that kids would be expected to go home themselves, di thats from age 9/10.

@ItsBritneyBitchhhh I was saying that I would view it as irresponsible where I'm from, because it's not what we see here.

And I'm from Ireland, closest neighbour to the UK, nowhere too far flung, but the views on this seem so different. My DC would have been left for an hour here and there from the age of 13, when starting secondary. But absolutely not left for 4 days at the age of 16 to provide cat care. That's just not something that would be done where I'm from.

And I'm actually a pretty liberal parent, but the views on this seem so different from what I read here? But maybe that's not reflective of the UK population as a whole tbf

What part of Ireland are you from as all the kids in my family there don’t get bussed from door-to-door to high school, they certainly have times home alone and are seen as young adults at 16.

In fact, they often fly between Ireland and the UK solo from 13/14 in the school holidays to spend time with relatives while their parents work.

Thanks so much for sharing, I do genuinely find this intriguing... this is completely alien behaviour and child rearing to me 😅

Ireland? Really? I think you're in the minority here. I'm sure many children are getting the bus alone to school and 16 year olds are staying home alone in Ireland!
You made it sound like a completely different culture - pretty close to the U.K. really.

Our kids might have to walk 5 mins or so to the stop but absolutely don't have to navigate public transport.

Wouldn't have an issue putting my DC on a plane, but obviously someone brings them to the plane and meets them there so it's really a non issue?

Is you're saying you'd leave a 13 yo alone for an hour or so. What's it going to be? Tied to the apron strings or allowed to learn how be responsible?

Plenty kids are getting the bus alone... but not navigating public transport and coming home to empty houses at 10 or 11?

Plenty of 16 year olds are left alone for the odd night... not for 4 nights!

Rurally, the school bus will pick children up near their homes, but in larger towns and cities - even Dublin - kids have to use public transport. You are only drawing off you own experience, not the general consensus of a whole country!

My cousins kids get the bus to school. Not a school bus, just a normal bus.

What do you mean someone takes them to the plane? someone drops them at the airport, but the bit between security and the actual plane they navigate themselves. They don’t have an airport babysitter like young kids used to when they travelled as unaccompanied minors.

Well I never claimed to be drawing off the consensus of the entire country though did I? I just said it's not the done thing where I live?

And yes, children in Dublin probably navigate public transport, but that's not the norm. There is a school bus system that collects children close to their homes, the children walk when old enough, or parents drop them to school.

I live in Japan and children go to school by themselves from age 7 - including trains.

For the UK, I think what people do is perfectly appropriate. I was alone for 4 hours when I got home from age 11, and honestly it was never a problem.... I'm British Irish btw

Ireland? Fucking hell you made it sound like you’re from the Middle East or something. That would have been more understandable!

My parents left me home alone for 2 weeks when I was 16. Also went on holiday abroad with my pals that same summer.

I didn't grow up in the UK and I think British kids have a much more sheltered upbringing than where I live. I see tons of kids as young as 8 take the bus to school alone or walk/cycle by themselves.

See that to me is 🤯 At the age of 7 they're still so small? That's why I'm wondering is it just a cultural thing and therefore children grow up faster, take on more responsibilities at a younger age because it's what is taught and expected?

I think the UK is very cautious on the whole. In my semi-rural area of Canada, a lot of 8 year olds are left alone for short periods of time. And definitely allowed to go to the park by themselves/with friends.

It's even more strange to me because we are so close! 🤣

You did actually, in your opening post…

This is not something that's done in my country at all.

Where are you from @Alaimo? Maybe we just baby our children too much here? 🤣

Well to be fair @YetMoreNewBeginnings it is absolutely not the norm in this country, outside of major cities like Dublin maybe.

@ringsaglitter
This is what I was going to say.

Parts of Asia and Africa is like this, totally normal at that age to walk to and from school, go shopping/run errands for parents, etc

I was left alone from around age 10 for several hours before my parents or older sisters came home.. that was kinda the done thing back in the 80s, lol

@Toxicityofourcity OP do you have children yourself and are they still little by any chance? I tend to agree with you but my children are under 5 and I struggle to envision versions of them that would be independent and able to be left alone. I also struggle to envision a version of myself that would be less consumed by their well-being and able to let go of some responsibility for them (I am on maternity leave at the moment). BUT as they get older and you see what they’re capable of I imagine this becomes easier to comprehend? Your replies will mostly be from people with older children who have got past that phase where their children are extremely vulnerable, and as things have evolved over years they have built up to a point where on looking at their kids (who they know inside out) they have decided they can reasonably leave them alone? 10/11 seems very young to me too, but I haven’t got a 10/11 year old yet so I don’t actually know how my brain will compute letting them go to school alone or come home alone etc.

Definitely the done thing in the 80s and 90s here as well! But if you were to do it now... honestly I think someone would report me for leaving a 10yr old home for hours regularly!

Is this a joke?
Mega confused because UK kids really havemuch less freedom than most european kids. We take ourselves to and from achool from 6😂
UK is anything but lax😂