To think people in the UK are very lax generally about children being left alone?

[Toxicityofourcity]

Not from the UK. Some of the threads on here baffle me when it comes to leaving children alone. Children as young as 10 and 11 getting themselves home from the school, bus etc and letting themselves into an empty house. Being left for a few hours on their own. Have just read a thread about a 16yr old being left for 4 days... because she has to mind some cats?!? WTF? I just don't understand. This is not something that's done in my country at all. Is it a cultural thing? Do people not worry about house fires, accidents, abductions etc.? I just really don't understand it. But here on MN it seems totally acceptable?

I think it’s the opposite. Children here are much later at walking to and from school or doing things alone than in many other places.

And MN is even more cautious than people generally in my experience.

Why shouldn’t a 16yo stay home? If any of my children who were NT and physically able couldn’t be left alone for a few days by the age that they can get married in Scotland I’d consider that a parenting fail on my part.

It's honestly not a reflection of what I see on here at all. Like I said in my OP, I regularly read about young children being home alone, being left for a few hours from 10 or 11. I've read so many threads like this that have baffled me that I've actually started my own thread because I genuinely don't understand if it's a cultural thing or what?

And I'm sorry, a 16 yr old being left for 4 days to mind some bloody cats is just irresponsible IMO. And because a 16 year old can get married at that age, doesn't mean they should.

A 16 year old is more than capable of being at home by themselves for a few days. I’m pretty sure they’d know what to do if there was an accident.

Not sure what age you think kids should start getting themselves to school for? I think year 7 is a perfectly good age to start navigating public transport and getting themselves to school. Unfortunately parents can’t be with their kids 24/7. Especially when they start work around the same time that their kids start school. Not sure what they’re meant to do?!

being left for a few hours from 10 or 11.

At what age do you think children should start building their independence?

Bearing in mind that at 11/12 some have to start making journeys to secondary school involving changes of transport etc.

And I'm sorry, a 16 yr old being left for 4 days to mind some bloody cats is just irresponsible IMO

Why?

unless the teen wants to go on the trip and is being used as free cat care for a cat that isn’t theirs what’s irresponsible about leaving a young adult at home alone?

Well surely being present and responsibly for your children is part and parcel of having them? That's your responsibility as an adult to see them to and from school, and if you can't then you pay for childcare?

And no, leaving a 16yr old alone, at home for 4 days isn't something that would be done where I'm from. It's honestly a bit 🤯 to me

Well surely being present and responsibly for your children is part and parcel of having them?

So is teaching them age appropriate independence

What country are you from as if anything the UK is too strict (this generation, probably not previous generations). Most 16 year olds are having sex, so they should be perfectly capable of being home alone for a few days. Of they're not, you've probably failed as a parent. Think back to when you were 16.

Building independence is one thing, and should absolutely be encouraged. Exposing them to unnecessary dangers at 10/11 by being alone for long periods, using public transport and navigating changes etc is very confusing for me. It's really not the done thing where I'm from. I could genuinely have CPS or the equivalent called for allowing a child of that age use public transport on their own, be alone for hours on their own etc.

But these things are 100% not age appropriate where I'm from which is why I'm querying it

Why on earth would you pay for childcare for a 14 year old to get too and from secondary school? They’re not 4? As the other poster has said, you really do need to teach your children independence.

I started going to primary school by myself once I was in year 4! I then made my way to secondary school by myself as soon as I started. My mum taught me the route during the summer holidays before I started to build up my confidence. Not sure what’s wrong with that at all?

A responsible 16 year old is more than capable of staying at home by themselves for a handul of days? Again, they’re not 6 but 16. My mum went on holiday for a week when I was 17 and I had the whole house to myself. Is 17 an okay age to be left by themselves or is that still 🤯 to you?

Just because they're having sex at that age, doesn't mean they should be? 16 year olds can have children, drop out of school, take drugs etc at that age... doesn't mean they should be though?

I assume you come from a more dangerous society generally OP. Teenagers are more than capable for being home for a few hours.
i live in Germany where it’s normal for 1st year kids to walk alone to and from school and no one considers themselves negligent for it. Where are you from OP??

I think you'll find yourself in the minority here, and likely in your home country as well. You seem to have a very skewed view on this.
What country/culture are you from? I think the U.K. is one of the most uptight places regarding children on their own etc.

Calling it irresponsible isn’t querying it though.

Querying it would be giving examples of the ages these things would happen where you’re from and pondering the difference.

a 16yo is potentially less than 3 full years from going to Uni - at what point should they stay home alone for a couple of days to prepare for being alone full time?

No one ever mentioned childcare for a 14 year old on this thread? For 10, 11 year olds, yes, I think it's required if they would otherwise be getting themselves home to an empty house.

So where are you from? Im from Danmark and it is totally normal there..

Where do you come from that children can’t get a bus alone safely to secondary school?

What country are you from as you haven't answered that question yet ?

Definitely not in the minority where I live, if I left my DC at home for 1 hour alone at age 10 or 11, I would be called irresponsible. And honestly, I'd probably think of others that did the same as irresponsible too. Fear of fires, accidents etc... It's just very different to what I read here?

@YetMoreNewBeginnings they can absolutely get a bus to school, but they're picked up from home, don't need to navigate public transport or make changes and wouldn't come back to an empty home.

I mentioned the age of 14 because you’re jumping from 10/11 to 16. So from what age can a child make their own way from school if they’re coming home to an empty house and what age can a young adult be left in the house for a handful of days?

Again, I agree with @YetMoreNewBeginnings in that calling the way responsible adults deal with their children’s agreements too and from school ‘irresponsible,’ is not querying it. My grandparents are from Dominica in the Caribbean so it’s not like I’m English or anything. You can have an interest in a different culture whilst keeping it respectful. Seems like you won’t answer where it is that you’re from either which is a bit odd

Even less, my 16 year old is just finishing year 12 and will hopefully be going to university next September.

Sounds like the USA.

...and this post is why when they get to university, the personal tutor ( me), basically has to act as a mother because they have never had to be independent!

Why is there mor chance of fires and accidents? What are you expecting these children to be doing if left alone? Playing with matches and jumping off roofs? No one's leaving a 3 year old on their own with free reign of the kitchen knives!
And you seriously expect people to pay someone to walk their child to school, or take them on the bus? I have never heard of a country doing this.