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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish tall people would all F off sometimes

328 replies

LaMaG · 19/06/2023 21:07

OK, I know I am BU. I am 5'3", so not tiny. I went to a gig last night to a group that I was a huge fan of as a teenager and as soon as I arrived I realised there was no televised screen therefore I would not see anything. I should have seen it coming, it was a summer festival tent, not a venue as such with facilities. I moved around a bit eventually catching glimpses of the band every now again only to be immediately blocked again by a big person standing in front.

This weekend I also had my DD's gymnastics display which was a local thing with fold up chairs in a gym. A child sat in front of me and only then did I realise the huge relief I felt as I had been anxious a big man would sit in front and that was it ruined for me. Yes I could have craned my neck and been uncomfortable but DD would not have seen me and she was really nervous and needed to keep looking to me for reassurance.

It just got me thinking of all the times in my life I have paid to see something but just spent my time looking at the back of big stupid necks and shoulders, of feeling like my face was shoved into an arm pit. I have lost interest in live music and certain other things for this very reason but we are supposed to just put up with it, tough luck its your fault for being smaller.

Would it really be unreasonable for allowances to be made. I get there are many working problems with segregation by size but it seems to me that its not completely unworkable. For example there could be a priority viewing area in the front of gigs for people under 5'5", if they chose to move there. Or in a more casual setting, would be it unreasonable to ask - God forbid - that a taller person sits on the back row. I find it hard to believe tall people are all so selfish, I'm sure many would comply but this needs to be organised and normalised. It would be no more unfair than a person paying for a ticket not to see what they paid for.

OP posts:
SerafinasGoose · 19/06/2023 23:48

'Scuse me whilst I just go and chop off my own head ....

XGenX · 19/06/2023 23:49

I’ve commented before reading any other replies.

DH is 6’5 and if ever we’ve been to the theatre etc, we always try and book an aisle seat for him as firstly it gives him more leg room and secondly he hopefully won’t be obscuring the view for the person behind. Can’t always be helped though.

I do agree with you in regards to a possible solution needed in regards to gigs etc, although I’ve no idea how this could be managed. At 5’7 I’ve often found it difficult to see at times so I can only imagine how you must cope!

Tannedandfake · 19/06/2023 23:50

LaMaG · 19/06/2023 21:19

Read the post, I said the opposite - I don't think tall people are selfish, I am saying venue organisers need to consider people of all heights and at least make some attempt at allowances, its up to people whether they avail of them or not.

Show quote history

What about obese people? Are they classed as the same?
are we all going to put our height and weight into a venue’s booking site🤷‍♀️😂

Blanketpolicy · 19/06/2023 23:56

I am tall, but also have crap eyesight and hearing so sitting at the back won't work for me.

PinkPlanter · 19/06/2023 23:57

My DH is 6’4, he can’t help his height, if we go to a concert and pay to be at the front it’s not our problem if there’s a smaller person behind us. It’s the same on flights, we choose an aisle seat with extra legroom or business class if it’s available on wherever we’re going. Obesity is a whole other thread on flights, just let’s say I refuse to share my seat with anyone sitting next to me.

ModestMoon · 19/06/2023 23:57

These replies are insane. Why should tall people sit at the back where it's harder to see? Because them being in front of you makes it hard for YOU to see?? Madness. Being tall doesn't make your eyesight better. If you're watching a play then you have every right to sit where you will be able to see.

Cattenberg · 20/06/2023 00:00

Daffodilsandtuplips · 19/06/2023 23:47

I’m short too, 5’3”, I have a spaghetti spoon that is used for everything except spaghetti. Need the kitchen window closing? No problem, I hook the spoon round the handle and pull it shut, great for retrieving packs of dried goods at the back of the shelf. Got dodgy knees and can’t bend down so well to pick stuff up off the floor or getting stuff out of the washer or drier a problem? Use the spoon.

Show quote history

DD uses a potato masher to turn light switches on and off 😆

When I was a kid, I used to climb up our panelled front door to open it. Visitors were often disconcerted, as the door would swing open to reveal … nobody.

On a different subject, I DO NOT find most plane seats comfortable, because I can’t put my feet flat on the floor, only my toes. This puts extra pressure on my calves and leads to muscle spasms. I wonder if this is the reason that very short people are more prone to DVTs?

HeartandSeoul · 20/06/2023 00:00

My brother is 6ft 7, and I can assure you OP that his height has presented many difficulties for him.

PinkPlanter · 20/06/2023 00:06

@Cattenberg you can buy foot rests that hang from the food tray for planes. They’re like a little hammock for your feet.

Pinball2023 · 20/06/2023 00:06

Theatres should raise the stage high enough so all can see, or am I getting that wrong 😂I'm 5'6 and have had this issue a few times and I'm mid size

GottaGirlcrush · 20/06/2023 00:07

Pinball2023 · 20/06/2023 00:06

Theatres should raise the stage high enough so all can see, or am I getting that wrong 😂I'm 5'6 and have had this issue a few times and I'm mid size

Yeah they can all really afford to be doing that!

MayLeaveADentInYourSofa · 20/06/2023 00:11

Fellow short person here. Sorry it took you so long to realize that it is not worth going to standing only events. Not the tall people's fault.

Orders76 · 20/06/2023 00:13

Also wishing talk people would fuck off only adds to the whole angry small person stereotype.

MayLeaveADentInYourSofa · 20/06/2023 00:13

Along similar lines, I was in the theatre once and heard the person behind me say to their partner "I'm lucky, I have a short person in front of me."
😆

UnctuousUnicorns · 20/06/2023 00:18

I'm 5' 1", been going to gigs on and off since I was thirteen, so nearly 40 years now. At standing gigs - i.e. 99% of them - I will always get there early and be at or near the front of the queue so I can be on the front row.

Last December at a gig for a band I like, I queued early outside in the icy cold, while other fans were still supping in the pub round the corner, so I could be on the front. Luckily I had another nutter equally keen fan to chat to.

Mind, I went to see the singer at one of his solo gigs in March, there was a woman who must have been about 4' 8", really teeny, I thought I was small! We all ushered her to the very front in the middle (I was also on the front, to the side).

But yes, if you're small and want to see owt at gigs, you have to make sure you turn up there early. 🤷‍♀️

LordSalem · 20/06/2023 00:19

Gig wise, platform boots to start with. No one can stand on your feet. Before support band goes on, stick one boot in between the people in front of you. Wait a bit and lean forward on that leg. When you're almost sideways use your pelvis to slowly push them apart and get your other boot in. Keep working that slowly over time until you're at the barrier for main band and can work on planting both feet hips width apart.
(5ft goth who's been to many a gig over the past 20 years, I'll be fucked if I've paid for a ticket and can't see a fucking thing).
Also for huge capacity gigs, long shoulder bag with a hoodie stuffed inside. Put that between your ribs and the barrier. Brace your arms, elbows bent the same way you've braced your legs.
Never failed me Grin

LorW · 20/06/2023 00:19

Surely as you know it’s an issue for you, it is your responsibility to book a seat that you can see from/attend music events with staggered seating OP?

Ghastisflabbered · 20/06/2023 00:22

I reckon it’s either the tall folk your mixing with OP or you.

I’m 5ft. I can’t think of a single gig, theatre show or any event with potential issues with tall people in front of me where said tall people haven’t turned around and either ushered me in front or swapped seats so the short people in their party are level with the short people in our party.

apart from one, where a tall fucker stood right in front of me and moved with me to block my view at a horse show. But I think that’s just cos he was an arse, rather than cos he was tall.

LordSalem · 20/06/2023 00:22

If people block you really hard, I usually find a tap on the shoulder of a tall male accompanied with "Excuse me, please could I go in front of you? I cant see anything" works every time. Does not work with women at all though Grin

ImSoShiney · 20/06/2023 00:24

You could wear platform shoes

Or stilts

Don't be selfish, make yourself taller

skyfalldown · 20/06/2023 00:28

I'm 5'6, so not sure where I fit into this new segregated state of shorts vs talls!

In any given situation, I can either be the selfish tall person in front of the oppressed 5' lady but, equally, I become the oppressed the second a selfish 6'2 man sits in front of me. Schrodinger's oppression.

Because of this, I think I should get special dispensation and be allowed box seats at every theatre 😁

Hooooping · 20/06/2023 00:29

I don't think you've thought this through. If everyone was the same height as you you'd still not be able to see over them, so they'd need to be shorter than you, which would make you the tall one.

Nasty post.

UnctuousUnicorns · 20/06/2023 00:35

This thread is bringing back memories of going to gigs at the Royal Court in Liverpool as a teenager (first one there was Wham! when I was thirteen 😳 😅) , that mad scramble as soon as the doors opened, as you flung your ticket at whoever was collecting them and dashed down to the barrier, to cling to it like a limpet for the next three hours or so. Those were the days. 😁 Fifty two now, and I'll still take standing over seated anyday, can't fangirl from a distant seat. 😅

RedTedBoom · 20/06/2023 00:43

Definitely Very Unreasonable - I might be tall, but I can see very poorly (partially sighted) why should you go Infront because your legs are shorter.
Your difference shouldn't take precedence over mine.......
& Neither should mine over yours

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 20/06/2023 00:46

As far as I know, taller people don't come with better eyesight so sending them to the shitty seats is more than a tad unfair.

Also, under your rules, your bf couldn't sit with you at future gigs.

I'm 5ft nothing so I typically book the front row seats at the tier seating. The odd time it's been a problem, I've swapped with the people I'm with etc.

Concerts in my 20s were fun, there are very few tall men who won't let you stand in front of them if they are blocking your way, once you ask nicely.

Also, a lot of former friends and ex boyfriend's used to happily put me up on their shoulders at times. I doubt trying now at near 40 & a stone heavier would get me far but great fun at the time.