Vegan given butter in restaurant

[Loveanavocado]

Went out for dinner this evening with dd’s.
dd1 has been a vegan for years. The rest of us are vegetarian, although I’m verging on veganism too tbh.

we went for dinner this evening, to our local. We often eat here and know the staff really well. So they know our dietary requirements.

this evening we ordered a dish and were all eating it. The waitress came over laughing and told us it had butter in it!!

dd1 was horrified and began to get upset. The waitress took the dish away and went to the kitchen. She returned and said “the kitchen are making another but they’ve got cross with me and asked why I told you it had butter in it!’

this has infuriated me!! Firstly given butter when told vegan. But even worse..told by the waitress that the kitchen would’ve not told the customer it had butter in it!!

AIBU?? What if dd had an allergy????

my dd2 has severe allergies (has had anaphylaxis a few times now!) so how am I ever going to trust them now??

I don’t know what to do! I don’t want to make a fuss as it’s our local in a very insular community

You can’t assume they will always remember dietary requirements though, you should always check, especially if you have allergies. menus generally have a disclaimer saying to check with staff re dietary requirements these days.
what was the dish? Is it something that you’d expect to have butter in?

Was it a vegan dish they added butter to, or a regular dish you asked to be made vegan and they forgot?

We always say vegan. And always remind nut allergy.

we have this same dish often too as it’s a go to for us because ticks all the boxes. (Veggie pasta dish). It’s always vegan. Suddenly today it wasn’t despite us saying vegan.

it’s the attitude of laughing by staff. And for them getting cross we found out!!

First, did you remind them of the dietary preference?

second, it is a preference, not a requirement. It is not the same as making sure a person with an allergy or intolerance is protected. The restaurant should make a good effort for preferences, but the focus should be actual requirements.

Just don’t go there again if you don’t want to complain or name and shame locally.

It's not great obviously, but I'm not sure there's any need to 'make a fuss', just don't go there again.

Being vegan is different to having an allergy, they're not comparable.

Flag it with the manager, making the point about allergies, if you want. Although it would have been better to have just gone into the kitchen and spoken to the staff direct at the end of the meal.

But set your DD a good example and get a grip. It’s mildly annoying, not upsetting. It’s not an allergy issue.

They were just joking around because restaurant work is hard, and they will probably get bollocked for wasting ingredients. Other people have problems too, so if you do complain put it in a praise sandwich and don’t be a dick about it.

No, they are actually obliged to be able to provide all the ingredients readily. There are laws in place for allergies which consequently protects preferences too.

Put a complaint in OP, it’s important.

I'm sure they'll be delighted if you never return.

Just do that if you're so bothered by it. 🙄

This. I have a milk allergy and that could have killed me. How dare they laugh about giving butter to a vegan! I wouldn't go there again OP and I'd consider leaving them a review on Google as well so other people know they don't take dietary requirements seriously.

What because she ordered vegan food and expected it to be... vegan? Are you drunk?

The waitress came over laughing and told us it had butter in it!! why was she laughing ?. I'd report to the food safety people they could kill omeone

Did she enjoy it before they took it away? Is that why she was upset?

I don't understand a lot of the responses. In fact it is people responding.on here who can make you see why they thought it was OK. How ridiculous, of course it isn't.ok and I would make a proper complaint and never go again. Its disgusting to ignore people's food preferences. One day they could do that with an allergy and kill someone.

Bad that they made the mistake. If they would have dealt with it professionally and apologised, I’d let it go.

The fact that the waitress thought it was funny and they’d have let you eat it is disgusting. The food standards agency advise reporting the business to their local authority if they’re deliberately misleading customers. Name and shame on social media for their awful attitude too.

I’d be dubious if they take allergies seriously either. Twats.

Using "what about an allergy?!" arguments is unreasonable as there's a massive difference between an allergy and a food preference and you should be checking and confirming every time.

As for the actual dish, it would depend if it is something that is advertised as vegan or is it just advertised as veggie and they make a sub to make it vegan as to whether I "made a fuss".

If it is advertised as vegan then I would be very annoyed as clearly they had to actively make it non-vegan by adding butter and would want to speak to someone about how it happened and what steps they would put in place to stop it happening again. However, if it is a veggie option where the chef has just forgotten to substitute the butter then yes the waitress should have handled it much more professionally and have been much more apologetic but it's a risk taken when asking for a preference modification in that it might be overlooked or missed.

In the former case I would definitely be making a fuss but for the latter I would put it down to a one off miscommunication and then just make very sure to be clear about the vegan requirement on future and if it happened a second time, that's when I would make a fuss and refuse to return.

They have to provide ingredients if you ask. Did you ask? Maybe new kitchen staff who changed the menu?

Also possible the waitress realised she'd Effed up by not reminding the kitchen about vegan requirements and tried to blame them.

It’s a shame that the hatred for vegans make some people not be able to give responsible, mature replies. 🙄

With allergy DC I'm surprised you're surprised. Most times we eat out in independent restaurants we get this kind of thing, or owners arguing over what is dairy. That's why we stick to chains.

For those dismissing veganism as a preference, someone who has not had dairy for a considerable time suddenly consuming it can make them very poorly, akin to an (non-anaphylactic) allergy. A body adjusts to diet and the OP’s dd wouldn’t have the gut biome to deal with this.

Also, the restaurant and its staff are incredibly unprofessional. Hope your DD is ok OP - I can only imagine her upset.

I’m pretty shocked at some replies.

Firstly I wouldn’t make a fuss about nothing.
Secondly, I know better than a lot of folk, the magnitude of food allergies. I have a severe nut allergy, as does dd2. We both carry epipens. Dd2 has had to have it administered many times. Once on a long haul flight. To watch that is something no parent should have to endure! So please don’t tell me I’m muddling veganism with allergy seriousness. I’m well aware of the difference.

im simply saying..the standard of thought process and empathy from a restaurant in terms of customer food presence is disgusting. Would it be treated the same if this was a religious preference??

im pretty shocked here tbh. Nobody should have their beliefs and choices belittled. Whatever that may be

I agree @melj1213

Yeah, major veganphobia vibes going on here. You go to a restaurant for a paid service, they offer that service, you pay for that service and have every right to expect it at high standards - anything less is unacceptable.

I don't get why she found it hilarious she should probably be sacked