Vegan given butter in restaurant

[Loveanavocado]

Went out for dinner this evening with dd’s.
dd1 has been a vegan for years. The rest of us are vegetarian, although I’m verging on veganism too tbh.

we went for dinner this evening, to our local. We often eat here and know the staff really well. So they know our dietary requirements.

this evening we ordered a dish and were all eating it. The waitress came over laughing and told us it had butter in it!!

dd1 was horrified and began to get upset. The waitress took the dish away and went to the kitchen. She returned and said “the kitchen are making another but they’ve got cross with me and asked why I told you it had butter in it!’

this has infuriated me!! Firstly given butter when told vegan. But even worse..told by the waitress that the kitchen would’ve not told the customer it had butter in it!!

AIBU?? What if dd had an allergy????

my dd2 has severe allergies (has had anaphylaxis a few times now!) so how am I ever going to trust them now??

I don’t know what to do! I don’t want to make a fuss as it’s our local in a very insular community

It’s often vegans that have a bad reputation but this thread has only shown ‘non vegan/meat eaters/omnivores as being the problem.

Theres lots of different names for some allergens.
Plus bear in mind pay for some jobs is low (if 33% dont pass gcse eng for example) others have kitchen staff who dont speak eng. Or agencies put temp staff in. Theres been a lot of staff shortages in some places.
We've had completely uncooked food twice and red raw steak once.

Agree
I always find that's the way though.
Facebook is brilliant for a laugh at people getting upset at the mere thought of vegan food lol.
Brand posts a picture of a new meat free product -
Comments underneath you're guaranteed to get
" Mmm, I just want a juicy steak, mmm bacon butty!"
(Knock yerself out Trevor, nobody's stopping you! 😂)
Wot about protein tho?
Did you know cauliflower cries too, or do you ever think about the poor carrots?! Hmm? HMMM?" 🙄😂

Theres that saying " How do you know if someone is a vegan? Don't worry they'll tell you.
I find it's usually the opposite
How do you know if someone is a triggered meat eater? Don't worry they'll tell you lol

I'm not even vegan but I find it bonkers how much it winds people up if they find out you are or facing a meat free food.

If you are allergic, bloody say it so kitchen can act adequately.
Saying vegan does not mean there will be super extraprecautions for cross contamination.

Once again, a lot of people have allergies that don't need 'super extraprecautions'. They just need food that doesn't contain an ingredient it should never have contained in the first place. If vegan food is actually vegan that's enough to not set off my dairy allergy, or my friend's egg allergy. If a restaurant is going to go.to the trouble of putting a vegan label on the menu I should be able to trust that, and skip the 10 minute conversation and waiter going back-and-forth to the kitchen to check. Which is frankly a bore for everyone involved.

Don’t be disingenuous- they’re very much the same. You might not share someone’s belief, whether that be religious or otherwise, but trivialising it is uncalled for.

Both the above examples have beliefs which inform their diet. If arestaurant says a meal fulfils their needs and it actually doesn’t, then that’s wrong. To then dismiss the person’s understandable concerns and upset as ‘making a fuss about nothing’ trivialises their belief system. You think vegans are fair game to trivialise, it seems.

I'd honestly report to trading standards, maybe even health and safety. And make a negative review on Google, TripAdvisor, FB etc. In line with a proper complaint to the management asking them for their explanation.

Way out of line.

Ah, you didn't do the special Morse code wink-and-blink that indicates you actually mean the words you are saying and that you will act on the assumption the words you are hearing are correct!

Silly you, must be the vegan diet

I've never worked in the food industry but both DH and I work/ed in (different) safety critical industries in roles that include things like quality assurance, conformity of production and so on. I think that the posters on here that are convinced that this error doesn't matter because it was only a preference and not an allergy are being a bit naive. Whilst the reason for a request for vegan food may be different to that for, say, nut free food, I'd expect the process and checks involved in making sure that the right food gets to the right customer would be very similar in both cases. If there is a lack of oversight or a workplace culture in which these things aren't seen as important that may well translate into other similar errors. In my experience it's quite rare to find a workplace where some protocols are followed diligently and others ignored. If you find one problem there are often others. Of course anyone can make a mistake and what happens next is quite telling. The OP reports attempts to hide and minimise the issue and in my experience that is a bad sign. I wouldn't trust a restaurant where that attitude can be seen to feed my multi allergic son. It could be a one off and they may be red hot on preventing cross contamination for allergic customers, but if I had to put money on it, I'd say it's more likely that things are a bit sloppy in general and I probably wouldn't trust them.

It’s absolutely irrelevant whether it’s a need or a want

PishPosh

A need to avoid a certain food is a matter of life and death

A want to avoid a certain food means you will still be alive the next day. After a hissy fit.

It doesn't matter if its a need a want, a whim or a fucking fancy.

If you agree to sell someone the product they have asked for, then thats what you do.

It isn't legal to tell someone a product is one thing and then provide something else!

If you pay me for silk and I provide something made with fucking rayon, you'd be pissed off.

If you pay for solid silver and receive silver plated copper... you'd rightfully be angry.

If you pay for real wood flooring and get laminated plastic photos of wood...

It doesn't matter what the product is or why you want it specifically, if someone says they can provide it then provides something else without informing you and finding out if that is ok - it's not acceptable and it is not legal.

I don't see people saying 'well its just a want, not a need' when people complain about being missold other products, why is food any different?

If you pay me for silk and I provide something made with fucking rayon, you'd be pissed off

If you pay for solid silver and receive silver plated copper... you'd rightfully be angry

Yes, because they are clearly different products.

The ops daughter was completely unable to tell that the product contained butter, and they did not have an allergy. It did her no harm and she did not even notice.

I think I would have noticed if my earrings were made of butter and not silver.

😂

I know plenty of people who couldn't tell silk from rayon...

So its ok to sell people something other than what they were asking for, as long as they don't know..... ok! Got it.

I do! And yes.

@Emmamoo89 You’re on a lot of threads making meat eaters look a bit odd. You’re always commenting about needing meat on any thread you possibly can. 🤪

Oh for goodness sake. There are people in the world who can’t afford food. Your daughter doesn’t have an allergy, she just chose to be a vegan. Eating a bit of butter won’t kill her. What a non issue. The waitress is too honest - I’d not have told you either. But I’d definitely not have told you the plan was to not tell you!

Christ some of the responses are worrying.

My partner is vegan, and has a level of Lactose intolerance (not deathly allergic but will be unwell). We once complained when a dish advertised as vegan, ordered as vegan came with real cream in it.

People's dislike of vegans makes them to fairly horrific things like deliberately spike food, not tell you when (hopefully honest) mistakes are made

Why are this people so threatened by others making a kinder choice 🙄🙄

This sort of post is exactly why some people react as they do.

Why didn't you just say "...others choosing to be vegan" rather than the catty "kinder choice"?

If you eat out you have to accept that you don't know exactly what is going into the food you eat. A little butter in a vegan's food is a pretty minor thing to get upset about given all the other things that can end up in there. As a rule I'd assume that unless I was in a specifically vegan-only cafe there's a good chance there will be some cross contamination between vegan food and non-vegan food, mainstream restaurants i.e. ones that cater for all types of diet will almost always be too busy/not care enough to prevent it.

On the subject of 'want, not a need' and non-vegan food not killing a vegan. It won't kill a meat-eater to eat horse or dog meat, or ground up insects, snails, grubs... but if half-way through your meal you were told they were in it, most of you wouldn't be very happy about it. That another person might willingly eat and enjoy those things doesn't change that.

I'm a butchers daughter what do you expect 😄 and couldn't give a fuck. I'm just sick of the shit vegans cause.

I'm vegan, and I'd be livid. It's totally unacceptable. Those saying she should calm down just don't understand. I wish they could imagine being told they'd consumed something they are ethically opposed to. Maybe dog. Maybe their own dog. See if they are so chill then.

I'd email the manager, and depending on their response, name and shame.

I hope your daughter is ok. It's a horrible thing to happen.

It's true though. It is the kinder choice. That you are upset by the terminology shows you know it is.

I'm a butchers daughter what do you expect

So what? The owner of our local vegan cafe is a former butcher, but his friend who's the chef is vegan - and there's local demand - so the cafe serves entirely vegan food (no fake meat type things). He's perfectly open that he eats and enjoys meat himself, but he's not a dick about other people making different choices.

Why does your father's profession define your opinion? Do you not have a mind of your own?

Lots of butchers/animal farmers have gone on to be vegan themselves.

You couldn’t give a fuck yet you’re constantly on vegan threads getting your knickers in a twist. Okay then.😂

As for the “shit vegans cause” I think you’re getting confused between vegans and animal rights activists. Most vegans are not activists.