What's the most bonkers thread you've read on here?

[passioninthisworld]

I've been on Mumsnet for around 10 years now, I have read some crazy threads.

I'm lying in bed hungover and looking for some stories to brighten up my shameful Saturday afternoon.

If anyone wants to share it would be greatly appreciated

Yep she was sitting on the worktop and I can't remember if she had rang her DH and he wouldn't come home to lift her down or wanted to ring him and everyone said it was a bad idea and just get down.

I do remember the OP wasn't happy with the replies

Penis beaker!!!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

Vague recollections of a mum complaining that her ex had fed the dC a packed lunch of cold stewed badge on a trip to a museum. Probably bollocks but so funny.

One where the OP didn't use toilet roll and washed her bum with a jug of water at the side of the loo. And the vast majority of posters agreed with OP and they also did the same.

As a life long toilet roll user, and having never met anyone else in life who washed with water jugs instead of toilet roll, I was absolutely mind blown. The whole thread made me feel like I've been wiping my arse wrong for my entire life and also that I was disgusting for doing so. Honestly it was baffling and I'm still baffled to this day.

Badger yes.

The dad was living Off Grid

The one where a woman is being physically and verbally abused and her younger children emotionally/mentally/verbally and maybe physically abused by her older son and someone told her to make sure she has lots of bread and peanut butter in the house for him.

Stupid auto correct. Yes, that's the one.

One of the threads mentioned on here was mine, I've name changed numerous times, but the whole thing was true (not Sistine chapel, I'm not that bad haha).

I've not had time to read the whole thread (as at work) but the elderly Korean lady is always a firm favourite.. I lived near that area at the time and could really picture it
I remember one about a woman obsessed with giving blood..or rather, her and her kids were no longer able to.. 'well HOW will I tell my kids they can't give blood?'
Mexican house thief is a classic
t rex in Asda / Sharon

There was one that was sadly deleted but a woman who insisted her husband had to use talcum powder after every shower and be ‘talc fresh’ otherwise he could be tracked via phone masts. What a ride that was.

There was one about a woman who found a victorian safe and wanted to open it
Did it ever happen?

Wasn't there one about a man with sandpaper and a loo roll (or cheese grater) having a shed wank??!

There was also a woman who was obsessed with Vancouver!
like.. in love with almost!

Not a thread but a response that told me that milk and bread are not essentials when I said that in lockdown that is what I went to Tesco for midweek.

Margritte and her batshit phone!
I always suspected that Margritte and Sad Widow were actually the same person.

There was an awful lot of haranguing from Margritte because posters weren't sending Sad Widow enough....🤔

I also remember a workman who looked like Brian Wilson and the OP managed to get a Beach Boys line in.. he asked her something and she replied, 'God only knows!' Still tickles me years on

I think the Sistine Chapel is my favourite.

what was the one with the insane boys name... like she had a choice between a regular name and a crazy one..

My fav ever (and what got me hooked on mumsnet) was a thread titled “Dick moves your kids have made”
Mine was only a baby at the time but it brought back many memories of the ridiculous things I did growing up (and made me question myself!)

There's one right now !!

Yes I thought the may have been one and the same person too

Most of the world uses water instead of paper and it probably is a better way of doing it. (Bidets in Europe...)

But paper is the norm here. Remember March 2020...

I did actually think of one yesterday as I came out of the sea with bright green seaweed on my arm
there was a woman who complained a spanish beach had seaweed, and about the poella (Paella) and taught the staff at the holiday camp how to make sangria (they were not amused)

The one where the DH didn’t make the bed before blind fitters (or something) went into her room and loads of posters were slating her because the knickers hadn’t been moved.

The 7UP one.

The one when someone wanted to block a CF on her drive

Just today, the windchime and carpet ones

of course snapped and farted is the ultimate..
should be snarted though..
haven't we all snarted at one point?!