To find this rude? (Light hearted)

[ThisHeatIsKillingMeOff]

Anyone else find this rude?

Have a family member who rifles through my kitchen cupboards and helps themselves to all sorts, they do this on a Day by day basis.
This week they've made themselves sandwiches, food, took a unopened big bottle of coke home with them, snacks for my kids have gone all without asking just picks it up and takes it home.
It's costing a small fortune to keep replacing everything that I can't afford to keep doing!

Today actually they asked to take the last of something home and I said no, to have a sarcastic comment about having to drink from a hose pipe instead.

AIBU as in I should have a open house policy or does anyone else get annoyed with people taking stuff from their cupboards home with them? I don't mind making cuppas etc when they're here but taking it home seems to be taking the biscuit they aren't short of money neither.

No joke, I’d have changed the locks by now!

We bought these because my SIL wouldn’t stop stealing from our cupboards. She broke one of the doors trying to get in and it’s now the family joke. It did stop her from stealing!

Wow, so your MIL is basically stealing from you! Can you ask her why she keeps helping herself to your food? Does she have some financial problems that she cannot afford these items herself? Or is she too lazy to shop for herself?
I would start putting locks on the food cupboards if you can’t get through to her or put a lock on the kitchen door so she can’t get in or go over to her house and help yourself to all her food in the same way so she see’s just how it feels. You could also keep a list of everything she’s taken and send her a bill or ask her to replace them. If none of that works, I would not let her in my house anymore. Bonkers you can’t tell her to stop stealing your food!

YNBU That is really cheeky behaviour and I would not be letting that pass any longer. You need to tell them that they need to stop, you're not a food pantry! And taking unopened stuff home with them?!?!? Wow!
Sounds like some boundaries need to be drawn up!

Her behaviour is bizarre. Making a drink or having a biscuit (though not DC’s diabetic snacks) I would consider normal, taking home a large bottle of unopened coke, not so much.

I wouldn’t leave her unsupervised in my home.

Hahah no way! That’s bloody hilarious 😂

This is all made up right? You’d let your diabetic child suffer for some scavenging scumbag? This is made up.

Get some cheap child locks on your cupboards and if it comes up you can say…
a) you cheeky F are sterling my/kids food and it needs to stop
or
b) I’ve been trying to figure out where all the food, especially kids snack stuff keeps disappearing… I’ve been blaming X but they are adamant it’s not them so I got some locks to put an end to it… it’s been costing me a fortune

(we have some cheap magnetic locks so you don’t need to dive you hand in a half open cupboard to release, highly recommend)

I think she’s testing your metal! It’s a form of bullying behaviour

do they know there is hose pipe ban? 😂

If this is someone who isn't your child or parent then I just wouldn't allow them in the house, sorry but if you're going to be rude and especially have no consideration for my diabetic child then I don't want you in my house or life, as harsh as that sounds, get rid!

I feel your pain. I'm a meal planner and leftovers reuser.
When my (ex ) in laws come round I feed them a lovely meal and then he'll say 'you can pop those leftover potatoes/whatever in a box for us thanks: it was delicious!'
I really don't think that he understands the ramifications. It isn't so much the cost for us as the planning: we live in the middle of nowhere and I serve everything in the middle of the table so that anything untouched can be repurposed into a ready meal or soup.
Neither have had the damn cheek to go through the cupboards though: probably (as my DC used to bitterly complain about) I don't have food, only ingredients!!

Lock the cupboards

I think you need to get a locked pantry or “child lock the cupboards” if she asked why just say stuff kept going missing and look her in eye. Don’t give her key/combination just say you promised not to let anyone know so it’s fair to all visitors and no one feels like their to blame! Don’t tell DH he will tell his mother . You can be stealthier . Or consider mouse traps or live rodents in cupboards to put her off

Why is she there every day? Your DH needs to raise it with her again and say she cannot take food from your home. She is taking food from her grandchildren?!

Or empty everything from your fridge and cupboards and when she looks aghast just say she's literally eaten you out of house and home.

Bill them for everything they take without asking because you aren’t a supermarket but they are treating you like one!
Super rude!!

I’d be very tempted to put locks on the cupboards!

We used to hide all our luxuries when some family members came over as they didn’t have them so would eat all ours but we weren’t well off either, we’d move them to certain cupboards as they pulled up to visit but the got wise so they then went in the wardrobe 😂😂

There’s some odd people about, none more so than MIL’s. Everyone seems to have a tale about them.

What is your MIL’s general demeanour like, is she quite forward will few social filters and this just see like something she would do. Or is this in contrast to her personality? If it is unlike her personality then I’d think something else is going on, possibly medical but more than likely she’s hit hard times. Your DH needs to have a stronger word, not go in heavy but stress that this isn’t normal behaviour and she needs to explain herself and maybe you can help.

This is a pest for you op, but a good idea to make a point if talking continues to fail. They are not too expensive on Amazon and have a numerical rotating dial lock - so easy to use. Needed for medical reasons, for a family member, but it’s possible to get different types.

Wtf! Why is your mother in law at your house every day? How does she get in? This sounds made up.

This, and...

If you know when she's going to visit, send her a text putting her off with the excuse that you haven't managed to shop yet or, ask her to bring in some snacks etc on her way over as you're running low.

I can't get over her bloody cheek!

Make your own price labels and stick them onto each item. Then she'll see how much everything is and you can tell her how much she owes you on the following visit when you've worked out how much she's taken if she's doing it by stealth. Otherwise put locks on your cupboards and locknthem just before she comes round.

I’d hardly call this light hearted when it’s out right cheek, selfishness and theft!!!

Tell her outright or say you’ll start billing her for the stuff she takes!!!

What a CF!!!

Once I had left home where I had grown up, on subsequent visits to see my mother, I would never have had the attitude to treat it as my own any more. I always asked permission to touch anything! Even if it was to take a glass and get water from a tap.

Confront her in a calm and unemotional voice and explain it is unacceptable she is overstepping her boundaries. It is YOUR home and she needs to be a guest, so helping herself to your possessions is not going to happen again. Tell her that she will not be allowed to come back again until, and unless, she pays you immediately for everything she has taken before. If she gets annoyed, that's her problem. You are not responsible for her emotions. If she has a key, take it back. Tell her you will let her know if and when she can visit.

The link that one poster gave for the magnetic locks is amazing. Thanks for sharing the information. Definitely get these for your home.