To find this rude? (Light hearted)

[ThisHeatIsKillingMeOff]

Anyone else find this rude?

Have a family member who rifles through my kitchen cupboards and helps themselves to all sorts, they do this on a Day by day basis.
This week they've made themselves sandwiches, food, took a unopened big bottle of coke home with them, snacks for my kids have gone all without asking just picks it up and takes it home.
It's costing a small fortune to keep replacing everything that I can't afford to keep doing!

Today actually they asked to take the last of something home and I said no, to have a sarcastic comment about having to drink from a hose pipe instead.

AIBU as in I should have a open house policy or does anyone else get annoyed with people taking stuff from their cupboards home with them? I don't mind making cuppas etc when they're here but taking it home seems to be taking the biscuit they aren't short of money neither.

Then he needs to say it again. And again. And again.

Why is she coming most days, is she childminding for you? If so can you take the child to her house instead?

Btw, I know you said lighthearted...but it isn't really. It's relationship ending.

Do you ever visit her house?

because I would arrange to go round and take a large shopping bag.
While there go through all her cupboards and strip them.

Make sure you take things that would be a pain (eg the last if the milk if she is a tea drinker, her favourite snack).

Then say - oh that's lovely saves me going to the shop.
If she complains, look puzzled and say - what do you expect me to do drink form a hose?

and leave.

She will go batshit.

Then get dh to tell her that that is what she is doing to you every time, and it doens't feel good does it?

Can't you just buy more of the stuff she 'nicks', so there's plenty to go around, don't you benefit from her hospitality sometimes?

You are hosting CFs.
That is not normal behaviour.

Stop letting her in; seriously or check her bag on the way out. She’s a thief

Why is your MIL in your house so much unsupervised?

My MIL visits, we have a coffee and chat, she goes home. If she’s around at a mealtime and we’re cooking then we’ll feed her if she wants to stay ti eat with us. Or she’ll come to babysit (infrequent) and I wouldn’t mind if she helped herself then.

But being around so much and having the opportunity to raid your kitchen so frequently- how does that happen?

She isn't just helping herself to food and drink to have while she's in the house though. Which is bad enough if you don't ask. She's filling a bag with food and drink from OP's fridge and cupboards, including unopened bottles, and taking them home with her. There's no reason or excuse whatsoever for that.

Tell her to just fucking stop or she won’t be invited in. Don’t pussyfoot about if. What’s wrong with you? Just bloody tell her.

Ah yes, justifying personal attacks and being rude under the guise of "calling a spade, a spade". It's rude whichever way you justify it to yourself and it's not about being on anyone's "side". It's possible to disagree with people without insulting them.

FFS, OP herself says she was a mug, what are you on about? Get a grip.

say to the kids, while she is there, "sorry all the lunchbox snacks are gone, granny has no self control"? she's a grown adult taking her GCs snacks etc?
Fuck her.
DH must be stronger in condemning this, and possibly follow her closely on the next couple of visits to drive the point home?

Get those magnetic child proof locks for the cupboard and don't tell her where the key is.

Sounds familiar! I have a very close friend for childhood who does this. Always going through my cupboards, helping herself to things. Then she'll often go off to my bed and have a nap! It's such odd behaviour that I actually find it hilarious.

ThisHeatIsKillingMeOff

It's the mother in law.

Jeez! And despite your husband telling her, she's still stealing her diabetic grandchild's special snacks. It's unbelievable!

Next time you're at hers, take two big shopping and fill them with stuff from her cupboards and fridge.

Does your friend fill a bag with food from your kitchen cupboards and fridge, and take it home with her, like OPs MIL? Leaving you and your children short? Surely you wouldn’t find that hilarious.

No and you're right. I wouldn't find that hilarious!

Oh OP, this is absolutely bonkers. I also have a T1 child and would be a mixture of ragey/totally bemused if someone started helping themselves to their low snacks even though they'd been told not to! MIL or not, I think I'd need to find a way to explain kindly but firmly that these things aren't to be taken because it's costing you an actual fortune (and it's just not what people do!) and that if it doesn't stop (including by stealth mode which is actually just stealing, right?) that you'll need to meet with her outside of your home. I'd also probably get my husband to have this convo with her though given it's his mother. As a side thought, is it possible that she's struggling financially and really doesn't have anything at home to eat but is too embarrassed/awkward about it to admit it? Either way, sorry you're having to deal with this!

Weird

Put locks on your cupboards.
That should give them the hint real fast.

I guess my response would depend on why theyre in my house, eg are they providing childcare or just dropping by for visits every day? You also say they are not short of money, but how do you actually know they're not struggling?

Hiw about just saying 'MIL, if you keep stealing from the children you won't be welcome anymore. This is your last warning!'

I’d threaten to out your mil on sm. She’ll almost certainly stop.
Or go to her house and take it all back.

When you know your CF guest is arriving, clear out all your cupboards and hide your food. Leave notes in each cabinet stating 'The supermarket is down the road, not here'.

If she was stealing the cash equivalent from your purse would you still allow it?

Because anyone who lets this happen is indeed, a mug!