To find this rude? (Light hearted)

[ThisHeatIsKillingMeOff]

Anyone else find this rude?

Have a family member who rifles through my kitchen cupboards and helps themselves to all sorts, they do this on a Day by day basis.
This week they've made themselves sandwiches, food, took a unopened big bottle of coke home with them, snacks for my kids have gone all without asking just picks it up and takes it home.
It's costing a small fortune to keep replacing everything that I can't afford to keep doing!

Today actually they asked to take the last of something home and I said no, to have a sarcastic comment about having to drink from a hose pipe instead.

AIBU as in I should have a open house policy or does anyone else get annoyed with people taking stuff from their cupboards home with them? I don't mind making cuppas etc when they're here but taking it home seems to be taking the biscuit they aren't short of money neither.

Where does it say the coke was for the kids? Maybe the snacks are fruit etc. Maybe reserve your judgement for the one stealing.

Can you stop having her round? Does she have any redeeming qualities?

If your DH doesn’t want to ban his mother from the house, tell him she’s welcome to come round again if she can stop stealing her diabetic grandchild’s special food.

Your husband needs to be much firmer about this with his mother. Of course she’s unreasonable. CF. However, you say it’s on a day to day basis. Why is she always at your home? If she’s there at meal times because she’s been invited at that sort of time then I don’t blame her for making a sandwich if she’s not offered food.

Is it possible that’s she’s struggling financially and is too proud to ask for help, which is why’s she’s basically using you as a supermarket?

Remind her one more time not to do it or she will no longer be welcome at your house. I would get your DH to deal with her though.

What is it about MiL’s, why are some so goddam awful. If you can’t do anything about it could you get a locked chest and put all your stuff in that while she’s there? That’s what I would do if I wasn’t able to control her bad behaviour.

does anyone else get annoyed with people taking stuff from their cupboards home with them?

No because it doesn't happen.

It's not something I've ever heard of anyone doing.

Is not letting her in the house an option?

Going to hers/meeting elsewhere/in the garden?

And telling her why?

You can't afford to support her light fingered habit any more!

Next time you visit her bring your shopping trolley and fill it!

Speak with DH - tell him to make it clear to her in no uncertain terms that should this continue she won’t be welcome anymore.
Or depending on how you do finances - replacing all the stuff should come from him if he wants to bankroll her ridiculous behaviour and he doesn’t want to rock the boat!

We have an aunt that comes round to do fruit picking when she knows they’re in season. She takes EVERY single apple off the trees. Shakes it until she gets everyone. She too short to steal all the plumbs but it’s literally buckets and buckets.
She says she takes them to give to friends and charities. Which is fine as it’s too much just for us but every time I’m running around trying to save 5 or 6 apples for us.
Some people are just like that. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I wouldn't allow her in the house due to her behaviour and I would expect dh to back me up 100%.
She moans or cries? Tough shit, you are not welcome here anymore now jog on.
I don't take prisoners, just shoot first and ask questions later. My dc would come before anyone, especially someone selfish enough to steal things like special foods for ds /dh or me.

Get this..

https://babygo.uk/products/magnetic-child-safety-locks?gad=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw1rqkBhCTARIsAAHz7K2f3tYKaRMHR4-f4Q372evEEQ4T1GW9Tib4wyAgIOPL1Y-wjfPf6H4aAltVEALw_wcB

And keep the key on you when they are round.

It’s a little removable magnet handle. So clever. And when they aren’t there you can just flick the latches to not lock mode.

Sounds like your MIL has serious issues, is she a kleptomaniac? I’d put a lock on my kitchen door for when she visits.

Does she do this with anyone else in the family?

Judge j, I don't consider family members taking food from my cupboards to be theft, I am constantly amazed by the stupidity of mumsnetters

One of the most bizarre things I've read on here lately.

You need to refuse to let her in

Taking anything without the consent of the owner to permanently deprive them of it is theft, however you personally chose to define it. I am constantly amazed at how MNers like to define things to suit their own purpose.

There's a big difference between getting yourself a sandwich to eat if you're there over a mealtime and taking lots of things home to eat later! That is just an abuse of hospitality.
I'm sure OP is not a corner shop, and if she were, there would be a till!

Is she stealing because she cannot afford to buy her food, or is she stealing because she is compelled to steal? Does she take things from other friends/family/shops?

Sig I would not tolerate visiting family or friends just helping themselves to the contents of my cupboards. I will say, 'grab a bite to eat / drink' but I have said they could so that is okay.
Doing it with out asking is theft and to be sneaky about it is not on.
If that makes me stupid so what? Wny would I care what someone else thinks? 🤔I don't.

Is this a thing that you are used to happening?

Not just with MIL?

It's just that you put lighthearted & tbh I'm struggling to see how it's lighthearted when someone just takes what they want from you.

Judges, I'm far more amazed at how rude other posters can be, calling someone stupid for disagreeing with you is pretty low. My house, my rules - it's not theft.

Sig you were the one who said 'stupidity of mumsnetters', so that's low isn't it?
Why pull up Judge ?

It’s outrageous for food bandit to take your child’s low number snacks. My son has type 1 too, his capri suns and quick snacks are sacrosanct for him and those times only. Lock and key it seems is the way to go. Any possibility of locking kitchen door? Our kitchen has two doors, besides the door to back vestibule, leading to hall and dining room that can be locked with skeleton keys. Never had a food bandit though so haven’t had to use them.

Keep the thief out!

Mylifeislikeaboatrace, sorry I should have explained, I was using judge just words right back at her, she called me stupid first, which is pretty unpleasant

Sig you are quite right, there is no need for anyone to name call.