Banned from school event.

[Wuzzlew]

Help!

My child has had a terrible time at school and technically leaves next Wednesday after final GCSE Exam.

School contacted me yesterday to say that due to poor behaviour choices they were no longer allowed to attend a series of after school or out of school leavers events.

However, there is also an awards ceremony next Friday for 1 hour. They have also been banned from this.

My child has significant SEN.

My issue is, which I’ve slept on and still can’t decide what to do is that they don’t want me tell my child until after their final exam.

Whilst this is sensible to allow them to focus on their remaining GCSE’s, it also seems cruel.

My child has chosen and selected gifts and written lovely letters to all their teachers which they are hoping to give out after the assembly.

They keep talking about the assembly to me and today when I collected them, mentioned how excited they were about the upcoming leavers events to teaching staff.

I feel like my choice is, tell them and potentially screw up their final GCSE’s as they probably won’t attend or let them go around school excitedly talking about events they are not going to be part of until the end of next week.

AIBU to think that I have been put in an impossible position and what would you do?

This incident happened last Friday, I do not know who the visitor was, but it was not OFSTED. The school called me yesterday. I was shocked as usually I am told if any issues/consequences at pick up or by 7pm on the day.

The vast majority of SEN students don't have an EHCP - at my school, 11% have identified SEN but less than 10 kids have an EHCP. In our county, having an EHCP does not automatically bring any funding. You have to apply for additional funding per child based on their needs and only once you can show that you are already spending £6000 over the standard funding to meet their needs.... It is very rare to get sufficient funding to pay for the level of support you are actually giving.

@Dotcheck No damage but verbal argument with a friend. They were shouting at each other.

Omg Kiwino- and if us lowly parents of that Sen child can work this out what the fuck is the SENCO doing not to ?

I'm guessing heading for holidays is a teacher

Bloody terrifying. I'm so glad my boy is through that shitty system and well out of the other side .

He lives abroad now and has his own IT business. Probably makes 4 times what the teachers who made his
Life hell earn .

Why should children with SEN and disabilities have to move schools just because some schools don't fancy complying with their legal obligations?

There is no way that schools get a bad Ofsted report based purely on one incident of two children arguing, and it's highly unlikely that this happened in front of an entire audience of next year's Year 7 parents - let alone that they will all vote with their feet because, guess what, it's pretty difficult to find places for next year's Year 7 in good schools at this time of year. An investor or a prospective teacher who isn't aware that occasionally children argue is a twat who you probably don't want to have any involvement with your school. Any school worth its salt is able to deal with this sort of incident calmly even if it does happen in embarrassing circumstances, and sensible people give them brownie points for doing so.

Maybe the visitor made a complain to the governors that the school have just been informed about yesterday which has escalated the sanctions, and this is a complete knee-jerk reaction.

True, but back in the day we were more tightly controlled with violence or threats of violence. Fear tends to have the effect of helping to focus your mind nine times out of ten, but I don't think people really want to go back to those days.

Unless a lot of time, effort, money and highly trained staff are provided for SEN pupils, then they don't receive the support and training necessary to help them deal with the difficult effects of their SEN.

Heading for holidays

The. Surely it's the role of the SENCO to know their stuff and actually get ECHP plans in place for those children that need it ?

I was astounded by the lack of knowledge by the senscos in my sons schools .

I get it's a high pressure environment and that many sencos are not doing that job in isolation but if you take the role of SENCO you should know the law , and how to get the necessary ECHP in place .

In my experience parents were far better at it than sencos .

@Hercisback Many poor choices throughout schooling within the same situations. Moving seating without prior knowledge - Meltdown. Changing teacher without prior knowledge - Meltdown.

My issue is, should I keep the information from them until after their GCSE’s despite knowing they will be talking about it to staff who know they aren’t allowed.

In my LA they only find the first £5000 for SEN pupils with EHCPs, the rest has to come out of a schools budget.
find a full time TA, plus all additional resources, for £5k per year

@CouldIHaveThatInEnglishPlease

No complaint, they would have told me. And yes they absolutely would have I’m not being naive. We talk every day.

I have a very close relationship with the school.

I

Op I'm guessing your child is on the autistic spectrum.

These are BASICS !

Fight it . Do nt roll over . Why should your child miss the last day of school and saying their goodbyes for this ?

I'm getting rather angry on your behalf . But I also want to shake passive parents at times like this . I could slap my neighbour sometimes . She just gives up . Your child has ONE advocate in this world - you .

Your county is breaking the law. It should automatically be allocating funding for provision in EHCPs over and above the notional £6K without making schools jump through hoops making special applications, and it should be able to cost that out without telling schools to do it for them. If, for instance, a child needs full time 1:1 provision it doesn't take Einstein to work out that that is automatically going to cost more than £6K a year.

I wish schools wouldn't go along with this nonsense. It just facilitates local authorities in underfunding them. I heard the other day about an Academy chain that is employing lawyers to send formal pre-action letters to councils every time they delay in funding children with SEND properly, and apparently it's working wonders. But they don't even have to fund it themselves, they can facilitate parents to go to organisations like SOS SEN to do the letters on behalf of their children, they say it works like a charm.

You absolutely can't tell them before the exams finish, but can you trust the staff not to say anything? It only takes one vindictive person to let it out.

@CouldIHaveThatInEnglishPlease Move schools? For a week? They are in Year 11. That ship has sailed!

It's a while since I dealt with this.
It wasn't easy at the time.

I would also call an immediate meeting with the head

Be strong.

Tell your story.

Within one hour of meeting with the head they were forced to resign.

Don't underestimate your power.

Good luck

Another LA breaking the law, then. Ask them why they think they are exempt from section 42 Children and Families Act 2014.

Why would you even contemplate telling them?!

It is really difficult to get an EHCP in our county and it makes no difference to funding so there isn't much point bothering unless the student needs a special school ... But there aren't any places in those anyway!

Kiwano

I love
You .

That is all .

I would definitely not tell them before they do their exams, especially since it is likely to cause a huge meltdown. Yes it's painful to watch them be all excited for events that they are unlikely to be able to go to but at least they have the best chance at doing well in their exams without the stress and upset being excluded will have.
In the interim try everything you can to get then to change their decision. Good luck.

This. Why should you be the schools messenger?

Heading for holidays
Ah so that's why schools just give up and expell them . Makes sense .

Read kiwinos posts . If more people armed themselves with the law , got a copy of the code of practice and went into battle they'd soon start funding properly.

But one most parents are too tired and too battle worn by the daily grind of having a child with Sen to do it . So LEAs just get away with it .

Because there isn’t a magic money tree?
budgets have been cut in LAs yet SEN needs have increased. You cannot demand money they simply do not have. All the books and laws etc, do not magic up funding. If they don’t have it, we can’t get it.

it’s a nice idea that all schools and public services got all the funding they need to be able to provide all the services they should. After a decade of austerity it really is no wonder everyone is striking.

@AnyaMarx Yes ASD & ADHD.

I am not passive, perhaps I seem it on this thread as I’m trying to be calm and measured.

My heart is broken into a million tiny pieces and after 5 long years of fighting and putting my life on hold, I was counting down to next week when we could say goodbye and move on with our lives and have closure from what has been a truly awful experience.

I know my child needs this goodbye. I need this goodbye. I desperately want that to happen for them for us but I just don’t think it will.