To think the parents of children who are in childcare would like to see them more often?

[tori32]

I CM and have several sets of parents who finish work early on many occasions who never collect their child early. I know I am paid and it does not bother me in the slightest to look after them for their agreed hours, I just feel sorry for the child because they are missing out on this extra time with parents who work full time.

I was a working mum for 3 months (as in not CM) but always collected dd early when I finished early because I wanted to spend time with her. AIBU?

I'm enjoying it now.

word

As I have already posted, children don't care what they are doing so long as they can get involved. If they got picked up early occasionally it would give more time to get them involved. IME quality time i.e. a child getting 100% undivided attention from parents when they are with them creates spoilt children who cannot entertain themselves for any period of time.

tori, you are digging and digging now.

Message withdrawn

What about parents who never finish early? WHo only ever get to spend this awful quality time with their kids?

NiceTry. If your child was happily painting/singing/playing with pasta etc when you arrived to collect him/her. Would you really worry if your child didn't want to go home?

Wouldn't you just think he/she was having so much fun they didn't want to leave?

That's interesting Tori. I think this happens with a lot of first children and subsequent offspring tend to be better at amusing themselves as you cannoy give them as much attention logistically.

Am biting my tongue very hard, am happy and secure enough in my relationship with my DD not to even bother retaliating to such a ridiculous ly hurtful comment

Ahh you see the childminder I had was lovely and had worked herself in teh city for many years and used various childcare herself before becoming a childminder so as far as know wasnt judgemental of working parents.

Do you reckon that dear old Tori is going to be the next Clare Verity?

so quality time creates spoilt children? i am not sure i understand your last post tori.

When you are a full time working mum, CONSTANTLY pegging it from home, to work, to supermarket, back for bath time, bed time, getting up with a baby, dealing with a toddler - when you literally feel like some days there aren't even enough seconds in the day to BREATHE because of the overwhelming sense of duty and responsibility to everyone but yourself in your own life, THEN maybe you might understand the impulse to spend and hour wandering round a clothes shop, or just sitting to have a coffee, or yes, even the luxury of shopping for food whilst actually being able to stop and consider whether you will by full fat or be good to yourself custard, WITHOUT your DC's in tow. Why is it people find it so easy to imagine what it might be like to walk in another persons shoes?

Some of the attitudes on this thread are making me want to just log off MN and never come back once I go back to work again in 1 week.

To get pissy because someone has expressed what I read as a simple question shows a whole load of raw nerves. I really don't think the concept of a cm wondering why their employers, who are also people, don't take advantage of an early mark to spend a bit more time with their kids occasionally, is so offensive.
I'm about to turn this computer off so I don't care if someone slings poo at me for the henious crime of not being horribly offended.
So there.

My dd was clingy and needed lots of 1-1, then I became a CM and things got better because I couldn't give 100% all day, she learned to play and entertain herself while I did stuff I had to get done.

Some people just like to spend a little bit of time alone, no reasons or explanations but just time alone. Doesn't make them a bad mother or lazy or any of the other rot being spouted here.

So therefore all children must be clingy and spoilt because your dd was because you gave her your 100% attention.

Oh Sycamore, there are lots of us in the same boat - it's all about solidarity - the OP is mildly bonkers - don't worry about it

Isn't quality time just playing with your children then?
I think the qustion was would you spend more time if you could wasn't it?
No one has answered that
Is staying at home with them for say, the first two years an ideal as oliver James recently stated?
Not realistic for everyone I know, I just wondered what your views are

Also, nicetry, you clearly do not know much about child psychology. If a child is confident and happy about spending time in other adult's company (nursery, grandparents) it means mum's like Hercules have done an AMAZING job in creating secure LO's who feel confident in the bond they have with their parent. The is TONNES of evidence to support this - and a million and one documentaries too. My DD cries every time we leave my parents house - I think it's incredible that she has creating that strong a relationship with them. It makes me very happy.

I have already said I couldnt spend all day every day with my kids. I prefer to be at work as well as having to be.

hercules I have been a working parent and still am, although now I obviously work from home. I am not judging working parents, just asking why people do not take advantage of an early finish to spend more time with their children when they are in full time childcare.