To think the parents of children who are in childcare would like to see them more often?

[tori32]

I CM and have several sets of parents who finish work early on many occasions who never collect their child early. I know I am paid and it does not bother me in the slightest to look after them for their agreed hours, I just feel sorry for the child because they are missing out on this extra time with parents who work full time.

I was a working mum for 3 months (as in not CM) but always collected dd early when I finished early because I wanted to spend time with her. AIBU?

Wow you are all crazy. I admit, I got involved last night.. I was tired and irrational. Do you people not have lives?
Just take a deep breath, and click that "x" in the top corner.

It's not worth it. Nobody's gonna back down, just agree to disagree, please!!!

Keep SOME dignity intact

Elf... you clearly have a lovely well adjusted DD who will grow up knowing she's loved and cared for and that her mummy and daddy are both successful individuals with interesting lives.

i cant say i always rush home to see my kids.

I agree.
I think it comes back to this issue of whether women should be martyrs and every spare minute they have be with their children (or ironing their husband's shirts or whatever) or whether it is better for women's mental health and lives and their children if they have a balanced life with children in it but also free time.

I do remember when we had 3 children very hard work under 4/5 years old and we both worked full time very occasionally getting home and not taking over from the nanny and it was bliss- to be in the house but without 3 clutching at your legs in a huge rush but that's hard to achieve at home because they have ex rays in their heads which say if the parets are home no matter how happy with the childcarer they will rush over to you like exocet missiles.

When the twins were born (children 4 and 5) I remmeber taking them to the gym every Saturday afternoon (their father worked Saturdays) and putting them in the creche there for 2 hours. I then had a sauna and then I slept by the sauna for an hour to 90 minutes. That used to do me wo much good given the broken nights we had in the week and yet people might say how can you work all week and then dump these toddlers/babies in a creche but they got very undivided attention there, loads of activities and it was a routine or pattern they were used to. I think you do what you feel is right without needing to feel children have ot be with you all the time. It's the ditching of the guilt which helps women most.

She's always got a smile on her face, thats for sure!
At the moment, she clomping around in my high heals, putting "rubbish" in a nappy sack.
I've also taught her how to put the washing in the washing machine, I'm wondering if she's too young to wash the pots at her age!

Interestingly, she goes with the CM to pick some of the other children from play group, and she keeps begging me if she can go. She doesn't understand she's too young, so excited about the world!!

when i had my third set of triplets i was working a 60 hour week. this is not unknows and eeryone else is a slacker. i breastfed them all similtaniously and still ha time to ion my husbands shirts.

of course i am so filthy rich that i didn't need to irn my husbands shirts but i did it becuae i am a better mother, parent, worker, woman than anyone else.

are women meant to iron their husbands shirts
DH does his own 'cause I'm so shite at ironing!

although i don't like to generalise it has been my experience that elves are notorious slackers. Most of them say how they are inadequate at ironing, this is simply not true, hw hard it is? i can do it with triples at each nipple

Am I being ignored ?

Put it this way - when I was younger my parents started to give us jobs to do around the house, and ironing was one of them.
After a few weeks my parents stopped me doing it as they were sick of me looking like a scruff pot.

'so excited about the world' - that's so lovely elf and proof that you are getting it right
Custy -

Sorry am I being a dim here
Nicetry = troll, yes ?

?

Think it's troll tea time right now cos she's been gone awhile

just another day in the life of mumsnet eh?

you cant win even if you're a plate spinning, multitasking stay at home/career woman/whore in the bedroom/slave to the stove/feather dustered cleaning lady plus nurse/eat organic/bake your own undies/breastfeed the pony...

(takes a breath)

isnt that custy you've just described?

aaahhhhh no, I will not be post number six hundred and sixty six

I dunno...does she bake her own undies?

"If you have to work reluctantly for financial reasons and use childcare then I sympathise with you but your kids will adjust because I am sure you will rush back as soon as is humanly possible to make up for time spent apart (through desire not guilt). If however, you chose to work for 'you' while your kids are tiny then I sympathise with your children."

Agree with Alfiesbabe and other posters that this is patently illogical. I feel a bit sorry for you working 3 days as you do. You are clearly tying yourself up in knots trying to justify your own life and how your children won't be irreparably damaged by your having to work. Poor you. Poor them.

As for me, I skip out the door with a kiss on their cheek without a backward glance safe in the knowledge they are happy. I dare say my children will grow up far more adjusted than yours.

last post directed to Nicetry.

I'm 99.999999% happy and dont care what others think. I walked through down, took two bus journeys and stood outside Tesco with no shoes on as my feet hurt and I didn't care about all the ah-she-is-an-oddball stares!

I could not afford to keep a roof over my daughters head if I didn't work. Simple as!

maybe she's a successful individual with an interesting life and can't be bothered fighting her corner anymore on an internet forum

or cooking the tea

both my parents worked and I'm the most well adjusted person I know!

custy do you bake your own undies?

What has surprised me the most on this thread are the posters who think its not okey to use children's clubs when on holiday. I have never used them myself, but it has never crossed my mind that I must spend 24/7 with my children while on holiday.I find the whole idea that you are the only one who can care for your child and your child needs you 24/7 a bit needy and perhaps even possessive. As if the idea that your children might grow attached to another adult frightens you a bit.