To think the parents of children who are in childcare would like to see them more often?

[tori32]

I CM and have several sets of parents who finish work early on many occasions who never collect their child early. I know I am paid and it does not bother me in the slightest to look after them for their agreed hours, I just feel sorry for the child because they are missing out on this extra time with parents who work full time.

I was a working mum for 3 months (as in not CM) but always collected dd early when I finished early because I wanted to spend time with her. AIBU?

I don't have a guilty conscience about leaving ds. He has never , ever cried. He loves nursery. I love my job. I could be wrong, he be totally f**ked in the head, but it SEEMS, to work great.
GUILT ?
NOT ME !!! Chelsy.

i don't feel guilty - i am paying the mortgage and bills with all the bloody hours i work (60 hours + per week during most of January)and if i want a couple of hours to myself, and i can have them, i will take them GUILT FREE

fabulous post irishbird

Ah, but Irishbird - and all the rest of us - are just protesting too much, you see. Secretly we yearn, passionately, to be relaxing with our adorable babes at the end of a long day at the office because what, what, pray, could be more alluring?

Totally and utterly agree with irishbird!

I dont understand all the drama on this this thread. Personally if I had to work and not be with my kids, which luckily for me I dont I would certainly pick them up whenever I had any free time because I love being with them more than anything else and this is from a SAHM.

However I would not judge anyone else for NOT picking up their kids but I might feel a little bit sad for them left behind at the child minders while me and my kids go off doing something fab and fun together.

I think most kids do prefer to be with their parents. I read about a survey once of families on holiday. When the parents were asked what they were looking forward to the most about the holiday 80% of them said that they were looking forward to relaxing, going for massages and having meals as a couple, while their kids were at kids club etc. The kids were asked the same question and nearly 100% said they were looking forward to spending time with their parents. How sad is that?

Who conducted the survey? How many parents were surveyed, and how many hours outside the house did they work? Were the responses from men as well as women? How many full-time SAHPs were in the 'time off while kids in kids' club' camp?

irishbird? Top bird in my book - excellent post!

I read that survey, was it perhaps from the Sunday Times?

of course saying on here kids prefer being with their parents gets most posters backs up, as I said before some posters protest too much that their way is the only way and it always sounds like they are "protesting too much"

Obviously cant give you all that information motherinferior. It was a while ago that I read it and I didnt manage to file it away in my "Defending my choices as a Mother" file. Just thought it was interesting and rather sad thats all.

I still would like to know the details of this 'survey'.

aren't you a journalist mi?

sure you can dig it up from somewhere, although you may not want to?

I sort of agree to both sides really. When I finish early from work I either - (depending on time as ds has his tea at cm so don't want to pick him up if he is in the middle of it) - go home and quickly throw a cassarole together or out jac spuds in the oven, or go shopping (at local co-op).

This extra half an hour is invaluable to me, and it means, that I've out the main dinner on before I get ds, we can then play or have complete quality time once we get home. But this is only if I finish half an hour early or so.

If I finished hours early I would go and get ds and spend the afternoon together.

However, I would be horrified if I thought my cm had the same attitude as the op. It's nothing to do with her what I do when she has ds. And actually I think it's very unprofessional.

'I may not want to'...errrrwhat??? You mean I may get overwhelmed by guilt at what someone else has (reportedly) said about their holiday priorities? For what it's worth, I don't use kids' sodding clubs - I don't take that sort of holiday. What I do do, professionally, is spend quite a lot of time checking that a so-called 'study' or 'survey' actually has a decent basis. And certainly when someone cites a 'survey', I expect them to be able to reference it.

who are all these parents who keep getting out of work early?

Well motherinferior perhaps this SAHM is not quite as "professional" as you. I would look for it but I cant be arsed quite frankly. I did read it and thought it relevant to this thread, which it is. Maybe I am a bit more comfortable with my choices than you are and therefore am not taking this discussion quite so seriously.

If you mean this report in last Sunday's ST it was conducted by package holiday company, which means it's going to be weighted in terms of 'buy this provider's holidays'; but much more importantly there is no mention that I can see of parents' priorities.

FWIW I would hazard - entirely anecdotally - a guess that rather more SAHPs than WOHPs would like time away from their kids during the holidays, for very obvious and understandable reasons.

And anyway, I didn't think most cms liked you picking up the children early?

What a bloody irritating thread (can't resist dipping in to have a look though).
You tell them MI.
Haha doogiesaywoof!

(Am back in the office having just taken a few hours out of my working day to go to (shock horror) hairdressers.... perhaps I should have popped home instead? Or sacked massively judgemental CM?!)

But obviously, you've got me over a barrel, haven't you, because my ire stems from my Secret Guilt. Definitely.

I had an unfulfilled ambition to go to a 4 day week while ds was still at the childminders - but it was my intention to have used that day for me. SOme weeks I might have chosen to take ds out of the childminder - other weeks, it might have been just to go shopping or have a wander somewhere on my own. The point is it would have been my time, to use as I felt like.

As it is, ds is now in P3 at school, so it would no longer be an option to spend some extra time with him, even if I wanted to. It is however still my ambition to cut back my hours - so I wouldn't spend my weekends chasing my tail and trying to catch up, in time to go back to work on a Monday!

viggo'smum - how do you know you would pick your child up early from childcare if you are a SAHM? I am never as stressed and knackered as I sometimes am after a day at work. Half an hour to put on the tea and pick up the breakfast stuff would be sooo good.

Dd was in nursery last Fri and I was at home. I went back to bed, then got up about 11 and tidied out some of dd's toys (a job I physically cannot do when she is around - it would be too cruel)

Then I collected dd, about an hour earlier than I would normally.

My only regret about the day is that I did not manage to squeeze in a spa treatment ON MY OWN or a nice lunch somewhere.

I very rarely get to be in my house alone and I loved it. I would think that I was not looking after myself properly if I didn't do this every so often.

Am PMSL at the thought that 3 months' experience of WOHM gives the OP a leg to stand on.

I do use kids clubs. A few hours here and there are a godsend. Ds begs to go. One night they had a 3 hour pyjama party. Oh it was great. And I remenmebr there was a conception that night -

Oh Oblomov, how do you live with the shame? Doesn't it overwhelm you every time you look into your child's eyes?