To think the parents of children who are in childcare would like to see them more often?

[tori32]

I CM and have several sets of parents who finish work early on many occasions who never collect their child early. I know I am paid and it does not bother me in the slightest to look after them for their agreed hours, I just feel sorry for the child because they are missing out on this extra time with parents who work full time.

I was a working mum for 3 months (as in not CM) but always collected dd early when I finished early because I wanted to spend time with her. AIBU?

Yes hercules we are.

the mum's thing was to nicetry - she thinks mums should stay at home for 3 years. or at least she has no sympaothy with mums that don't

I guess that is the beauty of diversity

WOuldnt it be nice if people respected that rather than judged each other?

Absolutely hercules. But wouldn't MN be a quiet place!!!

Herc, I was clinging ironically if it helps

Bubble, you hobbit, of course they're in the cupboard, but it's Milkshake they're tuned to - I like them to see the adverts so they can want things, then I can justify going out to work to pay for them

I don't think I'm taking this seriously...

very true!

Mrs Ruff - it's the suggestion that we should ALWAYS want to take a special unexpected gift of free time with our LO's that is making us angry. Not that we wouldn't, on more occasions than not, elect to get back to our kids earlier (can't speak for the unfortunate parents of OP's mindees though...)

I used to go swimming often before I collected my children from grandma/childminder. (Used both at various times).

And, during half-term I used to arrange for my childminder to have DS3 for the odd day so I could take the older two to somewhere age-appropriate for them.

Shoot me now.

SycamoreTree I am not a Child Minder - think you are mixing me up with the original poster. I did say ideally and I am aware that for many families being at home with young children is an impossibility, indeed many families need two salaries just to pay an ordinary mortgage/rent. Incidentally I did not say the mother should be the sole carer, fathers can do just as good a job.

The question is choice, if there is a choice to be made -and money is not an option-and you chose to be away from your child most of the time (only talking pre-school here) then you should look hard about why you want a family.

I had a friend who gave up working for two years. She's only just (8 years on) reached the level of earnings she was on 10 years ago

Years out of work kill many careers

She regrets it now

I know, Sycamore, I am just feeling quite mellow tonight. Must be the red wine

Dh is being a sahp for a couple of years and so we are pretty broke for a while especially as I am still paying full time nursery fees

Ds is 12 and occasionally moans about not being able to do or have the same things his friends have. I always chip in with what would you prefer - dh at work and lots of money or dh at home cooking and being there etc. He just grunts in reply and then wistfully looks into the distance to imagine having a wii.

Oh, go on, NT, say, "I don't know why people even have children if they can't be bothered to look after them" - go on, go on.

Yes Hunker, you are putting a far too lighthearted tone into what was a seriously ranty thread that I was getting v. v. wound up about. Kindly rearrange your face into seriously affronted expression. Thank you.

Sycamoretree- yes I do understand the pressures, I was a scrub nurse in operating theatres doing endoscopic bowel and open bowel surgery. I also did orthopeadics and was in the RAF (which I chose to leave because I couldn't leave a child for 6mths It was worth the sacrifice.) and my wage was the highest between myself and DH. When I went back to the NHS I took a £8,000 pay cut PA

You know we all missed a trick here

We shoulda had them adopted

Erm, I don't think the op said they should always rush back, just wondered why they never did...
No, see, I shopuld be in bed by now... enough of the ranting, you're keeping me up!

i agree with toria. parents using a childminder shoudl be forced to show eveidence to the Cm each day that they have spent the time on worthy tasks and not on frivolities

When I did go to pick up ds early (teacher so can be flexible on a regular basis) I would have to sit and wait in her house whilst he had his dinner etc and finished playing so never actually got him out of the house any earlier or spent any extra time with him anyway.

i have never felt guilty at work. i am fortunate to feel fulfilled, challenged, intellectually stimulated at work oh and guilt free. Sweeping generalisations are stereotypical and unhelpful.However, if others feel guilty about their particular circumstances, Heh that's another issue

hello all

have come late to the bunfight

don't know if anyone remembers but when I had a second to breathe last week I posted about CMs being on here while looking after kids - just couldn't understand how they managed it, and wondered if it impacted on the job, cos I find it difficult to do anything with ds as he demands full scale attention

now am wondering if you are with them all the time you can tune them out or soemthing...cos if I had any opportunity of half a day to myself i'd jump at it and no guilt at all!!!

so you are being unreasonable, but am now wondering where this gulf between parents and CMs comes from cos I happily admit to being guilty of it last week

dingdong-me too. I have promised not to go on MN for three days starting tomorrow so I am hanging on in there but should really be in bed

I dont feel guilty at all.